Poor you, having to take some responsibility for yourself. I can't imagine the horror of having to face up to what you've done. We're all crying for you over here, you poor, poor thing.
WAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Love,
Jill
P.S. I hope you rot in jail for what you did to my friend and her sweet child. ROT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope you guys appreciate me introducing you to all this new music that you've probably heard before.....
The High Road
Broken Bells
We're bound to wait all night
She's bound to run amok
Invested enough in it anyhow
To each his own
The garden needs sorting out
She curls her lips on the bow
And I don't know if i'm dead or not
To anyone
Come on and get the minimum
Before you open up your eyes
This army has so many heads
to analyze
Come on and get your overdose
Collect it at the borderline
And they want to get up in your head
Cause they know, and so do I
The high road is hard to find
A detour to your new life
Tell all of your friends goodbye
The dawn to end all nights
That's all we hoped it was
A break form the warfare in your house
To each his own
The soldier is bailing out
He curled his lips on a barrel
And I don't know if the dead can talk
To anyone
Come on and get the minimum
Before you open up your eyes
This army has so many hands
are you one of us?
Come on and get your overdose
Collect it at the borderline
And they want to get up in your head
Cause they know, and so do I
The high road is hard to find
A detour to your new life
Tell all of your friends goodbye
It's too late to change your mind
You let loss be your guide
Doing freelance work has its plusses and minuses, as you can imagine. One the one hand, I set my own schedule, I set my own rate and I supervise myself. I like what I do, I have cool clients, so I enjoy my work and all these benefits. On the other hand, I get paid very sporadically. I have about 7 clients right now but they're really only a couple of hours a month each, so I still don't make very much money. I'm usually only with them for an hour or so each time I'm there and I like to bill them once a month so that when they do pay me it's something relatively sizable, but, like I said, it means that I don't actually get paid very often.
When I DO get paid, though, like today.... WOOO HOOOOO!!!!! YAY MONEY!!!!
Have you ever tried to make a list of your top 10 favorite songs? And limit it to just 10? I tried once and it's comically impossible, but if you put a gun to my head and forced me, this one would be in the top 5. (Sorry for more hippie music, RWB. No I'm not). When I was in college I would occasionally sing with a band and this was one of the songs we would do.
It is (un)surprisingly difficult to find a good YouTube video of bands doing their songs live. Unless it's something that the band has actually made, it's always just some dude in the crowd holding up his cell phone and the quality is always horrible. So, here's another studio version.
Either Way
Wilco
Maybe the sun will shine today
The clouds will blow away
Maybe I won’t feel so afraid
I will try to understand
Either way
Maybe you still love me
Maybe you don’t
Either you will or you won’t
Maybe you just need some time alone
I will try to understand
Everything has its plan
Either way
I’m gonna stay
Right for you
Maybe the sun will shine today
The clouds will roll away
Maybe I won’t be so afraid
I will understand everything has its plan
Either way
Hubs and I went out a-singin' last night, or at least I did the singing, he would never be caught dead with a microphone in his hand unless it was to play a prank on one of our kids or something. We went to the Mel-O-Dee lounge which, interestingly, was not named such because it's a karaoke bar, but was named after a person named Melodee. I think. (Hubs come and correct me on that one). Either way, they have red velvet wallpaper and it's awesome.
So, there are 2 types of people who do Karaoke, and 2 corresponding types of karaoke bars that cater to their clientele: Type 1, people who can sing and are just looking for a place to do it that isn't their car or their shower and Type 2, people who seriously CANNOT sing but who get enough alcohol in them and think it's hilarious to go up there and make a fool out of themselves while all their friends cheer them on. You don't often get a lot of crossover between the two types of people and bars, so if you're in a Type 1 bar there will not be a lot of Type 2 people. Mel-O-Dee is a Type 1 bar and on a typical Friday night it is JAM PACKED with regulars. Did you know that people will actually bring their own CDs with them? I just learned this last night. As the dude sitting next to us explained, the standard songs that the VJ plays can have unpredictable arrangements so the only way to know exactly what you'll be singing is to make your own and bring them. (And then he went on to give us actual directions to the place in Pinole that we should go to if we're ever interested in doing this. Thanks random singing dude!)
They key, for me, to a successful karaoke experience is getting just the right amount of alcohol in me. Too little and I'm all nervous and awkward, too much and I just SUCK. But with the proper amount, I am channeling the spirit of Bacchus, as hubs would say. This particular trip was inspired by my viewing of That Jewel Video, which reminded me that the first time we went there ... well, let's just say I did not have the proper amount of alcohol in me, and I completely butchered Who Will Save Your Soul (anybody who was a witness to that does NOT need to back me up on that one. Seriously). So, I was determined to go back and redeem myself. Unfortunately the disk with that song was cracked, so I guess we're headed back there next weekend!
The thing about karaoke, though, is that so much of your time is spent sitting and waiting for it to be your turn. We were there for 2 hours and I did 2 songs, and the VJ is fair, it's all first come first served, he doesn't give preference to the regulars, despite the fact that the place is ALL regulars. So, there's nothing to do while you wait except drink and listen to other people sing. And this place is CRAZY with the strong drinks. They're SERIOUSLY STRONG, and very cheap, and you've got nothing else to do but sit there and drink them, so you have to be very careful. Last night I was careful. (Not like those other nights!)
Song #1, which was supposed to be Jewel, was instead Amy Winehouse. I did NOT have the proper amount of alcohol in me and I was nervous and awkward. Hubs said it sounded good, but I can't hear myself when I'm up there so I just go by how it feels, and it didn't feel that great. Probably because I was nervous and awkward. He promises me that he wasn't just being nice and saying that and I kind of believe him. It's a good song, though, and fun to sing....
Song #2 was my karaoke standard, White Rabbit. Until we started going to the Mel-o-dee I would do this song every time I ever did karaoke. I definitely had the spirit of Bacchus going for this one. I still couldn't hear myself but it felt good. Feed your head! I'm just bummed they didn't use the smoke machine, that would have been awesome.
So, there you have it, my karaoke experience. We got pictures, but upon closer inspection I decided they're too horrible to share. I seem to be having some kind of romantic relationship with that microphone and it's not fit for public consumption. Maybe next time!
OAKLAND — An Oakland bookkeeper has been indicted by a federal grand jury on charges of embezzling $240,000 from three small-business clients in Oakland and Berkeley.
Catherine Bullard, 37, of Oakland, was indicted by a grand jury in Oakland on Thursday on four counts of wire fraud and five counts of bank fraud. She is due to have an initial appearance before U.S. Magistrate Laurel Beeler on July 23.
The indictment alleges that Bullard embezzled $240,000 from three businesses between 2005 and early this year by depositing checks intended for third-party vendors into her own bank account.
The three businesses are A Step Forward, a shoe and accessories store on Piedmont Avenue in Oakland; Molly B, a clothing store with two locations in Berkeley; and Monsoon Corp., an Oakland jewelry store. The indictment says the establishments entrusted Bullard with their checkbooks so that she could pay the third-party vendors that supplied the businesses with products.
Instead of sending certain checks to vendors, Bullard is accused of writing her own bank account number on the back of checks intended for vendors and using ATMs to deposit the checks to her own account.
The nine counts each carry a theoretical maximum sentence of 30 years in prison. If Bullard is convicted, the actual penalty would be determined by a judge after consideration of federal sentencing guidelines. The case has been assigned to U.S. District Judge Saundra Armstrong for a not-yet-scheduled trial.
This drawing, by my blog idol Allie Brosh, has absolutely nothing to do with what I'm about to post about. I just think it's funny. :)
I have often said that I'm not cut out for this parenting thing. I'm way too neurotic and I worry too fucking much; and about things I have absolutely no control over. In particular, I worry about their mental well being. If they're not both 100% happy at all times, I feel a little sick to my stomach (unless I'm the one making them unappy, in which case I'm oddly okay with that). This is really stupid, when you think about it, because NOBODY is 100% happy all the time, and expecting that either of my children would be is completely unrealistic and unproductive. As you can imagine, I feel slightly sick to my stomach quite often.
I've talked before about how 3rd grade freaks me out, so there's nothing new to report about that, except now I'm starting to have dreams about it. The other night I dreamt that I went to the house of the teacher who we'll have for 3rd grade and I was asking her questions about our IEP, how she would plan to implement it and gave some suggestions that I thought might be helpful to her. In the summertime. At her house. I'm sure I was very helpful to Dream Teacher. In reality I would probably know better than to actually go to her house, but that might not stop me from sending an email or 12. I'll try not to actually do it over the summer, though. Maybe I'll wait until the middle of August.
Child 2 will be 5 on Wednesday. He starts Kindergarten in the fall. We've been talking about it all summer and up until today he's seemed rather unfazed by the whole thing. I thought maybe he just didn't understand, so last week I asked him if he knew what Kindergarten was. He said it was when you went to a new school with a new teacher and new friends. Yep, that's about right. He still didn't seem very impressed by it so I figured maybe he was just INCREDIBLY well adjusted. But today, totally out of nowhere, we're walking to get Child 1 from camp and he just stops walking and starts crying. "I'm scared of Kindergarten," he says. "Why?" I ask. "Because there won't be anybody I know and none of my friends will be there and I'll be all alone." I asked him if he remembered when he started at the school he goes to now, how he didn't know anybody, and then he met H and Z and C and now he has lots of friends? He said he remembered and that made him feel better. It didn't make me feel better, though.
So, went to the foot doc today. It reminded me a lot of this:
"No, you just do that now. That's just a new thing you do, until you and your shitty ankle both die."
As expected, my internet research proved correct: ice, advil, stretching, shoe inserts. I can no longer wear my birkenstocks because they're too flat. sob. AND he told me to get expensive running shoes instead of my current expensive walking shoes. So, I head on over to Sports Authority and I try them all on, and I spend about 10 minutes talking with the cool dude who was helping me about the purpose of my purchase: it doesn't matter what they look like, it's the comfort and support that's important. Because LOOK what I ended up with.
EWWWW!!!! PINK!
I could have spent $25 more on the pair that weren't as supportive or flexible, because they weren't as hideously ugly, but that's totally unnecessary. It's not about what they look like, right? RIGHT?
WHY DO WOMEN'S SHOES HAVE TO BE PINK??? Are men's shoes baby blue? Seriously, that's just WRONG.
Check out this spam I just got; click on it to make it bigger:
I know I didn't order anything so I looked at the source of where the click would take me if I tried to find out what it was. It's something that ends in .ru which is never good. Very impressive, though, but if you get an Amazon.com confirmation and you're not sure it's real... it's probably not!
Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew
I am a child first
My autism is one aspect of my total character. I am a person with thoughts, feelings, and many talents - like you. Don't allow stereotypical thinking to limit your expectations of what I may be capable of.
My sensory perceptions are disordered
The ordinary sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and touches of everyday life that you may not even notice can be downright painful for me. I am not withdrawn or belligerent; I am just trying to defend myself.
Distinguish between won't and can't
It isn't that I don't listen, it's that I can't understand you. When you call to me from across the room, I hear: "*&^#@, Billy. #$%$&*" Come speak directly to me in plain words: "Please put your book in your desk, Billy. It's time to go to lunch." Now I know what you want me to do and what happens next.
I am a concrete thinker. I interpret language literally.
Don't tell me something is a "piece of cake" when there is no dessert in sight and what you really mean is, "This will be easy for you to do." Idioms, puns, nuances and sarcasm are lost on me.
Be patient with my limited vocabulary
It's hard for me to tell you what I need when I don't know the words to describe my feelings. Be alert for body language, withdrawal, agitation, or other signs that something is wrong.
Because language is so difficult for me, I am very visually oriented
Show, rather than tell me how to do something. Patient repetition helps me learn. A visual schedule relieves me of the stress of having to remember what comes next--and helps me meet your expectations.
Focus and build on what I can do rather than what I can't do
I'm constantly made to feel that I'm not good enough. Trying anything new when I am almost sure to be met with criticism becomes something to be avoided. Look for my strengths and you'll find them.
Help me with social interactions
It may look like I don't want to play with the other kids on the playground, but I don't know how to start a conversation or enter a play situation. Encourage other children to invite me to join them at kickball or hoops.
Identify what triggers my meltdowns
Meltdowns and blow-ups are even more horrid for me than they are for you. They occur because one or more of my senses has gone into overload. Figure out why my meltdowns occur and they can be prevented.
Love me unconditionally
Banish thoughts like, "If he would just..." Remember that I did not choose to have autism, and that it is happening to me, not you. Without your support, my chances of successful, self-reliant adulthood are slim. With your support and guidance, the possibilities are broader than you might think. I promise you-I'm worth it.
I'm not a member of handgun control or anything (but that's for another post [as a country our resources are precious enough, we shouldn't be putting our time and energy and money into creating laws that don't generally work and create a lucrative black market when education is warranted] okay, I guess that's for this post) but I'm not a gun fan. In fact, I think they're horrible, disgusting things that should be completely irrelevant except under the most extreme circumstances. As far as I know I've never even been in the same room as a gun (although I HAVE been to a Walmart, does that count?) So the last thing you would expect from my hippie kids is that they'd be turning their forks into guns and shooting each other. But, no, they don't even need forks, they can just use their fingers; and they LOVE it.
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