George Carlin on the American Dream

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Song of the day: Troublemaker

Comment on the YouTube page: "Rivers looks like a rapist now." LOL

Troublemaker

Weezer

Put me in a special school
‘Cause I am such a fool
And I don’t need a single book
To teach me how to read

Who needs stupid books’
They are for petty crooks
And I will learn by studying
The lesson in my dreams

So turn off the TV
‘Cause that’s what others see
And movies are as bad as
Eating chocolate ice cream

They only sicken me
Don’t let me play football
I’ll sack the quarterback
And jack the brother of the ball

I’m a troublemaker
Never been a faker
Doing things my own way
And never giving up

I’m a troublemaker
Not a double taker
I don’t have the patience
To keep it on the up

I picked up a guitar
What does this signify’
I’m gonna play some heavy metal riffs
And you will die

You wanted arts and crafts
How’s this for arts and crafts’
That’s right

I’m growing out my hair
I’m movin’ out to Cherokee
I’m gonna be a rock star
And you will go to bed with me

‘Cause I can’t work a job
Like any other slob
Punchin’ in and punchin’ out
And suckin' up to Bob

Marrying a bitch
Having 7 kids
Giving up and growing old
And hoping there’s a God

I’m a troublemaker
Never been a faker
Doing things my own way
And never giving up

I’m a troublemaker
Not a double taker
I don’t have the patience
To keep it on the up

I’m gonna be a star
And people will crane necks
To get a glimpse of me
And see if I am having sex

In studying my moves
They try to understand
Why I am so unlike the singers
In the other bands

I’m such a mystery
As anyone can see
There isn’t anybody else
Exactly quite like me

And when it’s party time
Like 1999
I’ll party by myself
Because I’m such a special guy

I’m a troublemaker
Never been a faker
Doing things my own way
And never giving up

I’m a troublemaker
Not a double taker
I don’t have the patience
To keep it on the up
(Keep it on the up)

I’m a troublemaker
(Keep it on the up)
I’m a troublemaker
(Keep it on the up)

I’m a troublemaker
(Keep it on the up)
I’m a troublemaker
Never giving up

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Jerry Day!!!!

Awwww, it's Jerry!!  He actually looks a whole lot like Child 1's 2nd grade teacher

So, for those of you who don't know, today is August 1, which was the birthday of Jerry Garcia. This being the Bay Area, home of Jerry and the Grateful Dead, there is a concert every year to celebrate the life of Jerry and bring all the Bay Area deadheads together to remember Jerry and the Dead and the good ol' days. The show is held at the appropriately named Jerry Garcia Amphitheater, in San Francisco. We went last year for the first time and will probably make it an annual event.

This post will serve as both a description of our day as well as a reminder to myself of all the things I need to do/bring next year that I had forgotten about from the year before. Note to self: Read this post on July 31, 2011!

1. Bringing an autistic child who is afraid of dogs to a free outdoor hippie concert where the ratio of dogs to people is probably 1:10 is not necessarily a good idea. He was fine, if not a little bit nervous. Aversion therapy! says hubs. Right? Sure! Next time I'll just have to remember this so we can discuss it in advance.

2. Just because it's outdoors doesn't mean smoke gets dissipated or smells don't still waft if you know what I'm sayin'. Next year bring a gas mask for the kids!

3. There is VIP parking there, and you can get your name on the list by being part of the production or I guess knowing somebody. I've been chatting with the organizers of this thing on Facebook for the past few months and I probably could have gotten my name on the list if I had asked. Note to self: CHAT THEM UP FOR A FREE PARKING SPACE NEXT YEAR. Not only did we have to park about 6 miles away, we got lost on the way back to finding our car. But the parking lot is just right there! Hopefully I will remember this for next time.

Here are some interesting bits of knowledge I gained from today's activities:

1. Child 2 picked up on The Hippie Dance really quickly. In fact, I don't think he even saw anybody else doing it, he just started doing it on his own. He said he was like a bird flying. (all I know is something like a bird within him sang??)

It's the arms that really make it work

2. These are pretty much all of the same people I went to shows with when the band was playing 15+ years ago, yet none of them seem to have any kids. They just got older and crazier and higher and gained about 100 dogs each, but no kids. Why is that?

That's actually all I can think of right now because I'm tired, but if I come up with any more pearls of wisdom for you, you can be sure I will update this post with them. In the meantime, here's a video I found while looking for hippies dancing. Enjoy!

A lovely view of heaven but I'd rather be with you.

UPDATE:

This picture just seems appropriate for right here.....

 

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Song of the day: Just Breathe

I don't need to say anything about this song, I'll just quote my friend who said "I like aging with Eddie."

Just Breathe
Pearl Jam

Yes, I understand that every life must end, aw-huh,..
As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, aw-huh,..
Oh I'm a lucky man, to count on both hands
the ones I love,..

Some folks just have one,
yeah, others, they've got none, huh-uh

Stay with me,..
Let's just breathe.

Practiced are my sins,
never gonna let me win, aw-huh,..
Under everything, just another human being, aw-huh,..
Yeh, I don't wanna hurt, there's so much in this world
to make me bleed.

Stay with me,..
You're all I see.

Did I say that I need you?
Did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool you see,..
No one knows this more than me.
As I come clean.

I wonder everyday
as I look upon your face, aw-huh,..
Everything you gave
And nothing you would take, aw huh,..
Nothing you would take
Everything you gave...

Did I say that I need you?
Oh, did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool you see,..
No one knows this more than me.
As I come clean, ah-ah...

Nothing you would take,..
Everything you gave.
Hold me till I die,..
Meet you on the other side.

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Out of the mouth of babes, I don't know what number I'm up to

Me: Okay, everybody in this house who is under the age of 10 needs to go upstairs immediately and brush their teeth.

Cousin: Child 2, are you under the age of 10?

Child 2: I'm 5. I have 5 more old until I'm 10.



Freakin. Genius child.

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WTF, Supercuts?

We took the boys to get haircuts this afternoon, to Supercuts, and I swear to god, they are both now sporting the worst fucking haircuts I've ever seen. It looks like their heads were attacked by a coked out squirrel wielding a hedge trimmer. Maybe I shouldn't judge, because it's not like I could do any better, but DAMN, Supercuts! Why must you suck so much? It's a good thing they're both so stunningly beautiful because they can actually pull it off.

What. The fuck. Is that?

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Literal videos rule

Seriously, though, I can't wait to see this (these) movie(s)

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Useless superpowers

Sorry it's a little hard to see (click for embiggening). I think my favorite is desaturation.

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Listen up, potential clients

Alright, potential clients, let's get this clear, shall we? First of all, I am THRILLED that you "found my website online" because it means that my feeble attempts at marketing myself is producing something or other, but after I've interrupted my workout to spend 10 fucking minutes giving you free advice on how to calculate your sales tax if you sell online and then ship to L.A., I would appreciate it if you would end the call with "Great! So, when can we start giving you money?" as opposed to "okay, maybe I'll call you next week," because you're NOT going to fucking call me next week, and now my heart has gone back to its resting rate and I'm all pissed off about it.

Yes, I KNOW the preceding was one big run-on sentence, but I'm a bookkeeper and not a goddamn English professor, so if it bothers you, just take STFU, multiply it by 9.75%, put that on your form to the Board of Equalization and then shove it up your ass.

Sincerely,

Jill

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Song of the day: You may be right

This song has been running through my head all day, for some reason. This is a DAMN good song, and this album was life changing for me. I was 9 when it came out and I remember hearing It's Still Rock 'n Roll to Me on the radio and it was the first time I'd ever had an emotional reaction to a piece of music. I think I probably still have the original vinyl record that I bought shortly afterward.

You may be right
Billy Joel

Friday night I crashed your party
Saturday I said I'm sorry
Sunday came and trashed it out again
I was only having fun
Wasn't hurting anyone
And we all enjoyed the weekend for a change

I've been stranded in the combat zone
I walked through Bedford Stuy alone
Even rode my motorcycle in the rain
And you told me not to drive
But I made it home alive
So you said that only proves that I'm insane

You may be right
I may be crazy
But it just might be a lunatic you're looking for
Turn out the light
Don't try to save me
You may be wrong for all I know
But you may be right

Remember how I found you there
Alone in your electric chair
I told you dirty jokes until you smiled
You were lonely for a man
I said take me as I am
'Cause you might enjoy some madness for a while

Now think of all the years you tried to
Find someone to satisfy you
I might be as crazy as you say
If I'm crazy then it's true
That it's all because of you
And you wouldn't want me any other way

You may be right
I may be crazy
But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for
It's too late to fight
It's too late to change me
You may be wrong for all I know
But you may be right

You may be right
I may be crazy
But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for
Turn out the light
Don't try to save me
You may be wrong for all I know
You may be right
You may be wrong but you may be right

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I just realized something...

I have now blogged about where I'm going on Friday night and where I'm going on Sunday afternoon. If I had a stalker, I'm making their job much easier.

No need to thank me, current and future stalkers. I am nothing if not helpful.

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Cats for gold!

Oh, how I wish there was a reversal of this system.... I could probably stop working

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Jerry Garcia tribute night

I'm not really a baseball fan, but this is going to be so cool!!!! Hey, it's for the kids, right?

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Song of the day: Alcohol

I love these guys. This is a particularly good version of this song, but they were always so good live, anyway.

Did you know that camisoles and tank tops are two different things? True story. I just learned that tonight.

Alcohol
Barenaked Ladies

Alcohol, my permanent accessory
Alcohol, a party-time necessity
Alcohol, alternative to feeling like yourself
O Alcohol, I still drink to your health

I love you more than I did the week before
I discovered alcohol

Forget the cafe latte, screw the raspberry iced tea
A Malibu and Coke for you, a G&T for me
Alcohol, Your songs resolve like
my life never will
When someone else is picking up the bill

I love you more than I did the week before
I discovered alcohol
O Alcohol, would you please forgive me?
For while I cannot love myself
I'll use something else

I thought that Alcohol was just for those with
nothing else to do
I thought that drinking just to get drunk
was a waste of precious booze
But now I know that there's a time
and there's a place where I can choose
To walk the fine line between
self-control and self-abuse

I love you more than I did the week before
I discovered alcohol
Would you please ignore that you
found me on the floor
Trying on your camisole?
O Alcohol, would you please forgive me?
For while I cannot love myself
I'll use something else.

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Jerry Day is Sunday August 1st

Do you live in the Bay Area? Do you need something to do this Sunday? Are you AWESOME?

Jerry Day is this Sunday, August 1st.

The event is free but they need donations to make it happen, so if you're interested, go to their website or their Facebook page and help them out!! And go to the Jerry Garcia Amphitheater this Sunday, because ... JERRY RULES!!

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