Yeah. Good Times.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

I finally figured out a way to get this kid to listen to me

Before I begin, watch this; it's only a minute long:

Exactly.

So, the other day I'm standing in my bedroom and I'm trying to get Child 2 to come upstairs and get dressed, because we had to be somewhere. It was much like the above video, which I always think about during moments like this. I don't need to elaborate. YOU guys know what I'm talking about.

I yelled a bunch of times and still nothing; he was lying on the stairs moaning about something or other, I don't know. I was getting pissed.

Suddenly I look at the TV that's right in front of me; there's a movie on, I don't know what, but things were blowing up and people were dying.

I had an idea.

Win?

Edit: Whoever posted this to their Facebook account, thank you! I'm getting slammed with visits. Can anybody tell me how that happened? I'll, uh.... draw you a shitty picture if you do!

Monday, October 10, 2011

I am the 99% #OccupyTogether

Warning: This post isn't funny.

I'm sure you've heard of the protests happening in New York and now all over the country: people are tired of this country being a plutocracy and have decided to protest. If you haven't, go here: Occupy Together.

I support this movement 100%. This may change your opinion of me, in which case, I apologize, but I figure I've got about 400 people who might read this today and I need to take advantage of my modest audience.

If this were 20 years ago and I didn't have kids and autism and soccer and clients, you bet your ass you would find me sitting on the sidewalk of whatever bank was being protested in whatever city I was in. But, I can't do that now, all I can do is use my platform and my voice to try to help them spread the word.

I'm not going to try to convince anybody that they need to support this movement, too, but I am going to repost something that I wrote about 6 months ago and was originally a guest post on Momma Politico. If I tried to write something today, it would be exactly what I already wrote, so I'm just going to share it with you guys again.

By the way, if you disagree with me and want to tell me about it, I'm totally okay with that. Seriously. Don't hold back. But if you do, please use your name. If you have an opinion, own it. Don't be a pussy and hide behind anonymous, otherwise I'll delete it.

For more information on getting involved in your area, or online, go to Occupy Together.

On Being Powerless

There's a reason why I never talk about politics on my blog. And I'll tell you! I used to be the most politically active person ever. I organized, I ran groups, I did voter registration (that's how I met my husband), I was on fire! Then Gore vs. Bush happened and I was profoundly struck at exactly how powerless I really am. All of that work I'd been doing was pointless. My vote, my voice, my actions: useless. I'm just one person, there's nothing I can do about any of it, so why bother? Why bother even knowing what's happening in the world? I just feel angry and frustrated that these events unfold before my eyes and there's not a goddamn thing I can do about any of it.

Nowadays I try hard to stay away from the news, because things have only gotten worse in the last 10 years. Our country has become a plutocracy, with politicians who care only about getting power and money for themselves and not about the people they supposedly represent. Our national discourse is controlled by a bunch of ego-maniacal talking heads who say things like the earthquake in Japan is a message from God. Corporations have been given the same rights as fucking people, except when it comes to being punished for breaking the law. We've got power hungry Governors deciding for themselves that they have the right to strip the people of all their power, and now teachers are the bad guys? Teachers, police officers, firemen.... they're the enemy now?? Are you fucking kidding me???? Occasionally I (accidentally) happen upon some of it and I get so angry. I'm getting angry right now just thinking about all of it; but why? Why get angry? My anger is meaningless. I'm not a billionaire, nobody cares what I think. It's better for my mental well being to just not know what's happening; it makes me a happier person.

It's a horrible feeling, to be powerless like that. To have a very strong opinion about something that matters to you a great deal and know that it doesn't matter in the slightest what you think about it. I imagine that's how kids feel a good deal of the time, especially kids that are non-verbal or who have trouble expressing themselves.

I am, however, still one of those people who has trouble not saying something when I witness what I consider to be an injustice. I try to focus my attention on things that happen locally; at least there's a smaller audience if I stay in Berkeley. As a result I have had some "tussles" with our school district in the past. (Nothing about either of my kids, it's been entirely political). What I took away from my experiences, though, was that the district and the administration don't care what I think. They're going to pretend to be listening to me when I'm in their face talking about stuff, but once I leave the room they're going to do whatever they wanted in the first place. I'm just a parent. I'm not a major donor, I'm not a sponsor, I'm not an elected official: they don't care what I think. There's that powerless feeling again. Fuck, that sucks.

Recently I had an experience with the principal at our school which originally involved just a few other parents, the principal and myself. Then the principal did this seriously fucked up thing that had implications for parents of kids with special needs district-wide. I was pissed. So pissed my hands were shaking. So pissed that I had to physically restrain myself from marching into her office and telling her to go fuck herself.

I'm not going to go into detail, but I will tell you that I may be "just a parent," completely powerless on my own, but as part of a group of parents it turns out that I actually do have some power. A bunch of us special needs parents rallied, together, and we got that shit fixed. As a result I was able to send a VERY satisfying email to our principal which essentially said "HA HA I WIN YOU LOSE." Holy fuck was that nice.

My point? Not entirely sure, to be honest, except that I really wanted to say "holy fuck was that nice." Maybe I think our country is due for a revolution; we may be powerless as individuals but what kind of change can we do as a group? I would get behind an uprising; I might even start watching the news again if it would help. But things in this country need to change, and soon.

It's time to find out exactly how much power we actually have.

Fucking bring it on.

Friday, October 7, 2011

The funniest thing I've seen all week

I may or may not make this a weekly event. It depends on how drunk I am this time next week.

Anyway.

What is this, I wonder?????

Could it be.... a zombie french fry?? Because OH MY GOD THAT'S A MOTHERFUCKING ZOMBIE FRENCH FRY, BITCHES.

That's just a teaser. Do you want the whole thing? Go see Kendall for the good stuff.

Edit: I was drunk when I posted this and for some reason I had turned off commenting. I'm not really sure why. Sorry about that. It's back on now.

What does "smo" mean, anyway?

Many of you were confused by my logo yesterday, and only a handful of you actually got the reference. That disappoints me. Very much. I can only assume, as I often do, is that you all fucked it up so badly because you're just too young to understand my ancient references. Whatever, youngsters. I bet you have perky boobs, too. WHATEVER. (bitch). The "extra points" that were promised, however, goes to K from Two Adults, One Brown Baby who can also be found on Twitter at TwoAdults. (I'm not sure, exactly, what the points get you. Maybe you can cash them in at the jillsmo store at some future date? Well, in any case, hold onto your points in case something like that happens. FYI: You might be holding onto those points for a really long time and I can't guarantee that they won't get moldy and gross after a while....)

Anyhoozle.... The purpose of the reference wasn't necessarily the "smo" part of it; it was the rest that was important, but a lot of you got stuck on the smo of it all, so I thought I'd explain. And no, I'm not going to tell you the answer to the Circle Smo reference if you didn't get it. Ask K!

So.... have you ever noticed that my name is jillsmo? Many of you probably say that in your head as "jillz-mo" as in, "Jill has a Mo and she's not afraid to use it." (I do, actually... and I'm not. But that's not important right now).

I HAVE ONE OF THESE AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT

No, the truth behind my username is much more complicated and uninteresting than me simply owning a Mo and knowing how to use it. My username is actually the condensed version of Jill (my motherfucking NAME) and the word Smo. What is a "smo," you ask? Well. I'll tell you!

See, when hubs and I first met, we liked to drink (snicker). And when we first moved in together, we got ourselves a bunch of cats: Cassidy, the fucking insane-ass calico who didn't live past 5 months or so, because she was fucking crazy and we lived on a really busy street. (You can probably guess how that ended up

). Indica, but we called him The Big Guy, and his brother Sativa, who we called The Little Guy (do you see what we did there?? No? Okay, I'll draw you another picture.....)

You see, dear readers, there used to be a time, before kids, that I actually liked cats. It seems like forever ago, and actually it was. It was about 18 years ago. That's forever, right? Anyway, we loved our cats, and our "pet" name for them was "Smo." Why were they called smo? Well, that's related to the sentence above where I say that hubs and I "used to" like to drink. Any questions? No? Okay, moving on....

So, back in 1993 or 4 or whatever 199 it was, I got a big-ass awesome new computer (THANK YOU STEVE JOBS). One day, I was at work and hubs was setting up my 1200 baud modem (OH MY GOD IT WAS SO FAST) and he called me to say that he was creating an America Online account for me, and what did I want my username to be? Little did I know that this particular decision would literally define the rest of my online life. Literally. DEFINE.

We went through a few options and none of them were available, and then I had to go do work stuff or something, so he was like "what about Jill Smo?" and I was like "yeah, whatever, make it happen."

And that's how Jill Smo was born: A simple lack of time and imagination. Years later when Child 1 was a baby and I decided to sign up for the message boards at ComedyCentral.com because I wanted to complain to Jon Stewart about Likes it Rough Elmo, I needed a username in order to make a post. (also so that I could tell that fucker rards how SO VERY WRONG he was about a potential war in Iraq. OH MY GOD HE WAS SO WRONG.) I needed to think of something QUICK so I picked my old faithful Jill Smo. Except it wouldn't let me use a space or capital letters, so I shortened it to jillsmo.

(Have I mentioned how SO VERY WRONG rards was about the war in Iraq?)

(SO WRONG.)

Anyway, that was almost 10 years ago, and I've kept the name because it's just how people know me online.

And... that explains everything.

*cough*

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Strange things are afoot at the Circle Smo

I had some time so I made a logo. Because why not? Extra points to anybody who gets the reference.

My kids like their screen time. I don't do much about it. As long as their homework is done and they do whatever else I order them to do, I let them play Wii and stare at the computer as much as they want. I figure it would make me a total hypocrite for me to look up from behind my laptop monitor only to yell "get off that computer!" So, yeah... they definitely get more than the daily recommended dosage of screen time. I'm okay with it. You should be too.

Bedtime is a struggle every night. They stall, they hem and haw, they tell stories, they come into the room with requests for things they don't actually need, etc. I do a lot of yelling; things like "WHO IS IN THE HALLWAY YOU'D BETTER GET BACK TO BED RIGHT NOW" and "CHILD 2 STOP JUMPING AND LIE DOWN" and "STOP LAUGHING TO YOURSELF AND GO TO SLEEP" and "WHY ARE YOU STANDING IN MY ROOM AND NOT LYING DOWN IN YOURS" etc. You know what I'm talking about. This goes on in every household across the world, I bet. Every. Goddamn. Night.

FUNNY STORY AND FUNNY PICTURE INTERLUDE

We have this cat named Spike; she loves Child 2 and he loves her. They have a very strange relationship, though, because he's constantly tormenting her and she's constantly scratching him for it, but then when you try to get them away from each other they both refuse to allow it. She's been spending a lot of time on his bed lately and for some reason he is unable (or he refuses) to sleep when she's there. He complains about it constantly, but then he won't let me shoo her away and shut his door (because then she won't be in his room anymore!) I just tell him I don't even want to hear about it, you crazy kid!! I gave up trying to figure out that relationship long ago. Enjoy your dysfunctional human/feline relationship, nutjobs!

The solution that he found to this new problem is to sleep on the floor. He set up a comfy little bed, dragged all his bedtime accessories down there with him, and now he sleeps on the floor every night, presumably so that Spike will stay on his bed and leave him alone.

Yeah, that doesn't always work out so well for him, though. Poor kid....

Hit me with your laser beam!

END OF FUNNY STORY AND FUNNY PICTURE INTERLUDE

Last night two very strange things happened and I'm still trying to figure out exactly who these new children are and what has happened to my regular kids.

1. Child 1 got up and started walking down the stairs, which he often does. Upon questioning he replied that he was "going to get something," which he also often does. He came back upstairs with two books: two books that he had taken out of his backpack. Two books that he was reading for homework. He brought these books into bed with him and he, um.... read them!?

2. Child 2 was in there talking to himself and giggling. I, of course, yelled at him (*highfive*) and then when he started again I got up to investigate. I found him on the floor, head under the covers, with a flashlight... reading a book??

WTF???

Who are these people?? Because they're not MY kids, I can tell you that much.

What's next? They start eating the food I make for them? They politely take turns playing Wii? They listen to me when I speak to them???????

BECAUSE THAT'S CRAZY TALK.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

If you've met one autistic person then you've met one autistic person

When discussing autistic people, "professionals" often say that a common trait is a lack of empathy. I have always held the belief that this is complete horseshit and that my child with autism has more empathy than your average typical adult. I know this, because I know my kid, but others might not notice it because he's bad at verbally communicating his feelings: a much more common trait among autistic people. A typical person expects a certain emotional reaction to specific circumstances and when they don't get that from the autistic person they will assume that it's because that person lacks empathy, when the truth is that they're just bad at telling or showing you how they're feeling.

I've talked before about how Child 2 is the best possible "social skills" teacher for Child 1, and every day I see Child 1 becoming more and more verbal about his feelings and opinions. Have I mentioned that's awesome? Because that's awesome.

Last night Child 2 was having a hissy fit about something or other, I don't even remember what it was about, does it matter? He's very dramatic. And loud. Did I mention loud? Because he's loud. At the time Child 1 was in his room on his computer, an activity that they often share, usually against Child 1's objections. As Child 2 is crying and carrying on, I hear Child 1 yell to him from the other room "HEY! CHILD 2! COME HERE AND LOOK AT THIS!"

Child 2 continues to cry and whine, and so Child 1 tries again: "CHILD 2! COME HERE AND CHECK THIS OUT! IT'S REALLY COOL!" This gets his attention and Child 2 stops his tantrum and goes into the room to see what's going on. Within seconds they are both laughing at whatever it is they're looking at on the screen.

That has never happened before; Child 1 has never invited Child 2 to come and share his personal space. Usually what happens is that I'll hear "MAMA! Make Child 2 leave me alone" and I did hear that about 5 minutes later, but not before the tantrum was ended and Child 2 was laughing and feeling better. Child 1 intentionally went outside his comfort zone in order to make his brother feel better, if even just for a minute or two.

Lack of empathy, huh? I don't think so....

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

A date with the Hubs

This is for Dave, who was one of the Birthday Quiz winners. He requested that hubs take me on a date and then I blog about it. I still can't write so I decided to draw this one. Hope that's okay, Dave!

The following is based on true events.....

Sunday, October 2, 2011

This begins the downward spiral

I can't write. Seriously. It's just not happening. It's not for a lack of ideas, I've got plenty of those, it's just that whenever I sit down and try to get it out I can't do it. I don't know why and I don't know how to make it stop; I can't even write a post about how I can't write anymore. This is the best I can do. And it took me about 45 minutes.

I kind of want to say that I need to take a break from blogging for a while, but knowing me, as soon as I say that, something will happen and then I'll be blogging 5 times a day, and you'll be all "WTF I thought you said you were taking a break, LIAR!!!?" so, I won't say that. I'm just going to wait and see what happens, and try not to put too much pressure on myself, what with me being my own worst enemy and all that.

Sorry.

In the meantime, here's a picture I drew of me ramming somebody with my shopping cart at Costco. I can still draw (badly) because it's easier and doesn't require a lot of thought. Especially when I steal faces from reddit, which I have clearly done below.....

Saturday, October 1, 2011

How do I help him stand up for himself?

A little bit of background for those of you who aren't intimately familiar with my childrens' personalities (whatever): Child 1 is 9 and has autism. He is sweet and smart and mellow and kind and a little shy, even around us. Child 2 is 6 and does NOT. He is crazy smart, funny, feisty, adorable and very outgoing.

Child 2 is an excellent person to be helping Child 1 learn to socialize, because he's pushy and demanding (but in an awesome way, of course) and you have no choice but to be aware he is in the room; just in the past 6 months I've noticed a change in the way they interact and play together. It. Is. Awesome. They have back and forth conversations, one asks, the other answers, I don't have to do any prompting or even be in the room. LOVE. IT.

Whenever there's a turf or possession war, my first response is to say "don't talk to me, talk to him about it," for a number of reasons, but mainly because I want Child 1 to learn how to do these things without my help and there's no safer place for that than with his brother, in his own house.

HOWEVER! Now that they're interacting so much more (yay) I find myself constantly walking this line between trying to help Child 1 stand up for himself, and not showing any favoritism. For example, the other night C1 asked me to find him a flashlight so he could play with it. About 10 minutes later I see that C2 is playing with the flashlight. I asked him why he had it and he said "C1 said he was done with it." So I ask C1 if he was done with it and he said he was, but I know that wasn't true because I had hunted around the house for the damn thing at least as long as he had been playing with it. I sat down next to him and told him that he doesn't have to hand all his toys over whenever his brother asks for him, if he's not done he should say he's not done. He nodded; he understands this concept, but it's not what actually happens.

It felt weird telling one child, and the older one at that, that he needed to stand up to the other child. I can't make him be more assertive, but I know he still wanted the flashlight, even if he said he was done with it. And if Child 2 had heard that? Man he would have been pissed. He's already complaining about how C1 gets to do more stuff than he does (not really true; he's also very dramatic).

I hope I'm explaining this properly, I feel like it's just a crazy jumble of words, but how do I help Child 1 learn to stand up for himself, in this safe environment, without making Child 2 feel bad? Any suggestions are appreciated.....

Friday, September 30, 2011

The ugly truth about parenting that nobody wants you to know

Music festivals: Then and now

I was driving around Oakland yesterday (actually I was lost in a shitty neighborhood trying to find the freeway and I was a little nervous about it, but that's not important right now) when I spotted a billboard (they still have those?) advertising a music festival that was to be held at some point in the near future, on Treasure Island. For those of you who don't live here, Treasure Island is a former Navy base that resides in the space between the East Bay and San Francisco. Here, this frighteningly accurate depiction of the area is probably more helpful:

I added some extra landmarks to make this an educational experience for you guys

So, I saw the sign for the festival, and my first thought was: "Ooh, good bands!" but then as my brain continued on its old & neurotic spiral of thought I was struck by how very very different my thought process was these days, as opposed to how I used to approach these matters; as a youngster; 20-some years ago; before children.

THEN:

AND NOW:

Thursday, September 29, 2011

And you thought yesterday's post was pointless

I have nothing to write about. Actually I have a lot of things I could write about but they would be angry, curse filled rants about how much I hate Everyday Math and how autism can go fuck itself this week, and such, and I didn't want to be angry and... well, I didn't want to be angry, I wanted to be funny (such as it is). But nothing funny has happened here lately; I've been following Child 2 around with a tape recorder and everything. No I haven't. Or have I? Regardless, even he hasn't given me anything; and you know the well is dry when even Child 2 hasn't been funny.

(Sorry, Child 2. I hope you never read this. I never want you to know that when you were 6 I said that you hadn't been funny that week. Please nobody ever tell him I said that. PLEASE.)

In order to find something to write about I was looking through my test results (NO, I'm not pregnant. I mean THESE test results) trying to see if you guys had given me any good ideas that I could steal and call my own, and there are actually a few in there! And since I haven't yet been able to come up with a birthday story, per Liza's request, and I haven't gone on a date yet with Hubs, per David's request, I figured... what the hell. Let's just give everybody else what they asked for! As long as it doesn't require too much energy on my part, because it's fucking hot here today.

First of all, please visit these two sites:

Tap Dancing Lexicon
A Little Less Fluff (she actually asked for a guest post, which I will do! As soon as I can think of something to write about, but once I think of something to write about, I need to put it on my own blog, first, so you can have the second thing I can think of to write about. Unless you'd like an angry, curse filled rant about how much I hate Everyday Math?)

Secondly, please go to Wombat Central's Facebook page and "like" it. She wants to know what happens when she gets to the magical number of 25. I'd like to know, too. I didn't realize there were magical numbers! As I write this she has 18 fans; only 7 more!!!!! MAKE IT HAPPEN, PEOPLE!!!!!

Somebody named A Na, who did not give any more identifying information than that, said "I'd like you to let Child 2 dictate a whole post to you. Like, literally, word for word, everything he says."

That's an awesome idea, A Na (if that's even your real name) and so I approached him with my laptop and told him of your idea; he knows what the blog is and he knows that he says funny stuff over here and it comes out on the internet over there, but suddenly he got all embarrassed at the idea and turned red (SO cute) but agreed. So I said "Okay, go for it!" and he said "I love you."

AWWWWWWWWWW.

And I said "yeah, whatever. What else?" and he said "No, that's it, that's the whole post. Write that down."

AWWWWWWWWWW.

Sarcasm Goddess said she wanted me to find her an agent so that she could quit her soul sucking job, and if that was too much to ask I should just draw her a picture of a puppy.

Related: I don't know how to draw a puppy.

Rebecca asked for "a day at the spa." Sorry, Rebecca, this is the best I can do for you:

Related: I don't know what Rebecca looks like, nor have I ever even been to a spa.

Allison Dellion said "give to charity" so I made a $25 contribution to Project: Purse and Boots, "a gathering together of the women's blogging community to celebrate life while raising money to help fight the devastating consequences of cerebrovascular disease" and a project of Lori who blogs at In Pursuit of it All.

wasn't_serious requested an avatar for the Twitter.

Um. Sorry about the shitty avatar....

Anna Nonamus from Because You're a Moron (awesome) requested an entire post dedicated to her and if that wasn't possible, some cheese. Well, Anna... how about a sentence dedicated to you AND some cheese?

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese.

Okay, that's about half of the people who actually asked for something. I'm impressed at how many of you said you didn't want anything at all. Not greedy people from the internet? IMPOSSIBLE! I'll get to the rest tomorrow because I have run out of steam and now I have to go do homework.

Related: I hate Everyday Math!!!!!

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Wordless Wednesday: Literally

Monday, September 26, 2011

Homework: what do you think is reasonable?

I spent a lot of time last year at this time talking about homework and how much I hate it. It's true. I hate it. Especially with Child 1, because I'm a shitty teacher and he's a difficult student. After a few months last year I just said fuck it, I'm not doing homework anymore; this is too hard and too frustrating for all of us. I made a half assed attempt to find a tutor for Child 1 but then I gave up on that, too, and had some changes made in our IEP so that homework was modified and also done in school. That took a lot of the pressure off. Off of me, that is. Because this is about me... not about either of them.... Just kidding. No I'm not.

Toward the end of the year last year, however, I was feeling really shitty about never doing homework with either of them; I had rationalized that Kindergarteners shouldn't even have homework and I was doing him a favor by not making him do it, and that worked for a few months, but then I went back to feeling like a shitty slacker mom. So, this year I'm determined to stay on top of things and get this shit done every day so that I'm not a horrible terrible no good shitty parent. Because... as I said... this is about me... not them....

I've hired a tutor for Child 1. This shitty economy means that I get really lucky when it comes to tutor choices, apparently. I've found a credentialed teacher who works as a Resource Specialist in a public school but doesn't make enough money as a single parent so she picked up my tutoring gig (there's your proof, Fox News, that teachers and teacher's unions are ruining our economy!!!). Child 2 is a frickin genius, at the end of Kindergarten he was reading at a 2nd grade level, so I figure I can handle helping him and his genius brain.

So, this was all just a really long winded introduction to my question, because I need some perspective: How much time do you think is reasonable for a 4th grader with autism to spend doing homework, and a 1st grade genius to spend doing homework?

Child 1, with his tutor, can take up to 2 hours. Child 2, with just me, can take up to an hour. And he's not struggling or anything, he's speeding through it; there's just a lot of it.

That seems like a long time to me, for these guys to be spending this much time every day.

Does it seem like a long time to you?

How much time does it take your kids to do their homework, with or without your help?

Birthday Award Ceremony!

Thank you guys so much for humoring me and my silly little quiz. I was worried nobody would take it because I'm a silly dumbass, but lots of people ended up taking it!! Thank you for feeding my ego! HORRAY EVERYBODY!!! (Except... there was a typo in there. And nobody told me! WTF?? How did nobody mention the typo? THANKS A LOT, "FRIENDS.")

And MAN did you guys have some awesome ideas for prizes! I'm a little sad I can't award everybody, although.... I actually might. There were some good ideas in there that I may very well steal and pretend that it was my idea. And, also, some of them were quite reasonable, so if you really want what you said you wanted your prize to be, let me know, I'll probably still do it.

Anyway! There were three people who got 100% on the test and therefore three people will be awarded prizes today!! YAY!! (There were also two people who only got ONE question right on the whole thing. HA HA HA!! I may decide to "award" them "prizes," as well.... *snicker*)

But, I was looking through the test results the other night, and I wondered what would happen if I graded you guys on a curve? How would that change the results, I wonder? Teachers do that all the time, right? It's supposed to be easier? So, I asked hubs for help, because he's smarter than I am, and together we came up with this neat little bell curve type chart thingy!

And you know what I learned from viewing the results in this manner? That I have no fucking idea how to grade on a curve. Not a clue.

AND NOW.... THE WINNERS....

Our first winner is Liza! Who I don't know, actually. Hubs asked me if I thought it was weird or creepy that a total and complete stranger would get 100% on a test about me. Um.... Anyway! Liza said that for her prize she wanted "A birthday story." When I asked for clarification, she said "I'd love to hear about one of your memorable birthday moments, happy, sad, funny, horrific, whatever. It could be about anybody, past or present." I'm not sure if this post counts, but I'm going to guess probably not, so YES! Liza. You will get your birthday post as soon as I can think of something memorable to tell you about. So... that should be happening any day now.... hmmm.... do you smell something burning?

Our second winner is Dave! Who I also don't know! So, um... yeah.... there's nothing awkward at all about complete strangers getting 100% scores on tests about me.... nope.... nothing at all.... Dave said "My prize is for the hubs to take you on a date, then you can blog about it. Perhaps a picture of the food or bowling alley or park, whatever." That is a DAMN good idea, Dave. DAMN good. I am texting my babysitter AS I WRITE THIS, Dave!!! I will keep you posted.

Our third and final winner is somebody I know. YAY!! It's Roxanne, who blogs at Unintentionally Brilliant and can be found on Twitter at @roxisbrilliant. Brilliant work, Roxanne!! AHA HA HA HA HA HA..... sorry..... Anyway, Roxanne requested I draw a picture of her and her little man having a lightsaber fight. HERE YA GO!!! YAY!