Strange things are afoot at the Circle Smo

I had some time so I made a logo. Because why not? Extra points to anybody who gets the reference.

My kids like their screen time. I don't do much about it. As long as their homework is done and they do whatever else I order them to do, I let them play Wii and stare at the computer as much as they want. I figure it would make me a total hypocrite for me to look up from behind my laptop monitor only to yell "get off that computer!" So, yeah...  they definitely get more than the daily recommended dosage of screen time. I'm okay with it. You should be too.

Bedtime is a struggle every night. They stall, they hem and haw, they tell stories, they come into the room with requests for things they don't actually need, etc.  I do a lot of yelling; things like "WHO IS IN THE HALLWAY YOU'D BETTER GET BACK TO BED RIGHT NOW" and "CHILD 2 STOP JUMPING AND LIE DOWN" and "STOP LAUGHING TO YOURSELF AND GO TO SLEEP" and "WHY ARE YOU STANDING IN MY ROOM AND NOT LYING DOWN IN YOURS" etc. You know what I'm talking about. This goes on in every household across the world, I bet. Every. Goddamn. Night.

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FUNNY STORY AND FUNNY PICTURE INTERLUDE

We have this cat named Spike; she loves Child 2 and he loves her. They have a very strange relationship, though, because he's constantly tormenting her and she's constantly scratching him for it, but then when you try to get them away from each other they both refuse to allow it. She's been spending a lot of time on his bed lately and for some reason he is unable (or he refuses) to sleep when she's there. He complains about it constantly, but then he won't let me shoo her away and shut his door (because then she won't be in his room anymore!) I just tell him I don't even want to hear about it, you crazy kid!! I gave up trying to figure out that relationship long ago. Enjoy your dysfunctional human/feline relationship, nutjobs!

The solution that he found to this new problem is to sleep on the floor. He set up a comfy little bed, dragged all his bedtime accessories down there with him, and now he sleeps on the floor every night, presumably so that Spike will stay on his bed and leave him alone.

Yeah, that doesn't always work out so well for him, though. Poor kid....

Hit me with your laser beam!

END OF FUNNY STORY AND FUNNY PICTURE INTERLUDE

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Last night two very strange things happened and I'm still trying to figure out exactly who these new children are and what has happened to my regular kids.

1. Child 1 got up and started walking down the stairs, which he often does. Upon questioning he replied that he was "going to get something," which he also often does. He came back upstairs with two books: two books that he had taken out of his backpack. Two books that he was reading for homework. He brought these books into bed with him and he, um.... read them!?

2. Child 2 was in there talking to himself and giggling. I, of course, yelled at him (*highfive*) and then when he started again I got up to investigate. I found him on the floor, head under the covers, with a flashlight... reading a book??

WTF???

Who are these people?? Because they're not MY kids, I can tell you that much.

What's next? They start eating the food I make for them? They politely take turns playing Wii? They listen to me when I speak to them???????

BECAUSE THAT'S CRAZY TALK.

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