Birthday Award Ceremony!

Thank you guys so much for humoring me and my silly little quiz. I was worried nobody would take it because I'm a silly dumbass, but lots of people ended up taking it!! Thank you for feeding my ego! HORRAY EVERYBODY!!! (Except... there was a typo in there. And nobody told me! WTF?? How did nobody mention the typo? THANKS A LOT, "FRIENDS.")

And MAN did you guys have some awesome ideas for prizes! I'm a little sad I can't award everybody, although.... I actually might. There were some good ideas in there that I may very well steal and pretend that it was my idea. And, also, some of them were quite reasonable, so if you really want what you said you wanted your prize to be, let me know, I'll probably still do it.

Anyway! There were three people who got 100% on the test and therefore three people will be awarded prizes today!! YAY!! (There were also two people who only got ONE question right on the whole thing. HA HA HA!! I may decide to "award" them "prizes," as well.... *snicker*)

But, I was looking through the test results the other night, and I wondered what would happen if I graded you guys on a curve? How would that change the results, I wonder? Teachers do that all the time, right? It's supposed to be easier? So, I asked hubs for help, because he's smarter than I am, and together we came up with this neat little bell curve type chart thingy!

And you know what I learned from viewing the results in this manner? That I have no fucking idea how to grade on a curve. Not a clue.

AND NOW.... THE WINNERS....

Our first winner is Liza! Who I don't know, actually. Hubs asked me if I thought it was weird or creepy that a total and complete stranger would get 100% on a test about me. Um.... Anyway! Liza said that for her prize she wanted "A birthday story." When I asked for clarification, she said "I'd love to hear about one of your memorable birthday moments, happy, sad, funny, horrific, whatever. It could be about anybody, past or present." I'm not sure if this post counts, but I'm going to guess probably not, so YES! Liza. You will get your birthday post as soon as I can think of something memorable to tell you about. So... that should be happening any day now.... hmmm.... do you smell something burning?

Our second winner is Dave! Who I also don't know! So, um... yeah.... there's nothing awkward at all about complete strangers getting 100% scores on tests about me.... nope.... nothing at all.... Dave said "My prize is for the hubs to take you on a date, then you can blog about it. Perhaps a picture of the food or bowling alley or park, whatever." That is a DAMN good idea, Dave. DAMN good. I am texting my babysitter AS I WRITE THIS, Dave!!! I will keep you posted.

Our third and final winner is somebody I know. YAY!! It's Roxanne, who blogs at Unintentionally Brilliant and can be found on Twitter at @roxisbrilliant. Brilliant work, Roxanne!! AHA HA HA HA HA HA..... sorry..... Anyway, Roxanne requested I draw a picture of her and her little man having a lightsaber fight. HERE YA GO!!! YAY!

"Hey, I made you some toast!"
"Isn't it a little on the dark side?"

AND NOW.... THE ANSWERS....

1.  Who or what did I say is "trying too hard" ?

1. Sarah Palin
2. Child 2's preschool teacher
3. An artichoke (Source)
4. The car parked across the street

2.  Who is my blog idol?

1. Me. Only me. Forever. Always. Just me.
2. Allie Brosh (Source)
3. Eschaton
4. Amanda Marcotte

3.  What is Child 2's favorite song?

1. Let the Bodies Hit the Floor (Source)
2. Truckin'
3. The Mickey's Clubhouse theme song
4. Anything by Abba

4.  What is Child 1's (and therefore my) "old nemesis"?

1. Rakes
2. Scratchy shirts
3. The sun
4. Fire drills (Source)

5.  What do hubs and I do every Friday night?

1. #wineparty
2. Play Rock Band (Source)
3. Get a babysitter and go out to dinner
4. Karaoke

6.  Child 1 has a "test" for every new teacher he has every year. What is it?

1. The "sensory" test
2. The "softness" test
3. The "decibal" test
4. The "niceness" test (Source)

7.  How many birds, in total, have I actually killed?

1. 0 (Source and source. Birds of the "Angry" variety don't count!)
2. 1
3. 2
4. 3

8.  Why was there a cat intentionally locked in our garage for 2 months?

1. He was rabid
2. No reason, we're just really really mean
3. He had a broken leg (Source and source and source)
4. He was fighting all the other cats

9.  Where is my happy place?

1. My car
2. Drunk somewhere, it doesn't matter the location
3. My big, comfy comfy bed
4. Target (Too many sources to list!)

10.  How does Child 2 say "sarcasm" ?

1. "sarcastum"
2. "starcasm" (Source)
3. "starcastum"
4. "sarcasmst"

11.  What is the most amount of cats I have had at one time?

1. 4
2. 7
3. 12 (Source)
4. 13

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