Let's see how that night went.........
7:30pm Kids arrive and immediately disappear into the Man Cave (where the Wii is). I ask both moms "is there anything I should know?" and they both make me taste their dust as they bolt from my house. Ooookkkkaaayyyyyyy........
9:00 I start wondering if I should maybe get these kids to go to bed? It's a little early for Child 2's bedtime, but maybe these other kids go to sleep earlier? Child 2 comes into the kitchen for some water and I casually suggest that they go upstairs and start getting ready for bed. He agrees and heads back downstairs.
9:45 Okay, I guess he's not coming back, apparently I need to do some insisting. I go into the Man Cave and they're playing Wii tennis; jumping up and down and yelling and stuff. Good! They'll tire themselves out and then crash! I say that when this game is over, it's time to come upstairs.
9:50 Miraculously, they emerge from the Man Cave and head upstairs to Child 2's room, where they immediately open the computer and start playing games on it. Okay, I'll let them simmer in there for a while.
10:30 Child 2 and Friend 1 come into my bedroom to report "There's a problem. Friend 2 says his legs really hurt, he's in a lot of pain." Okay. I have no fucking idea what to do with another kid that isn't feeling well, so I go in there to inspect his legs. He's wailing in "pain" and I look him over but there doesn't seem to be a problem I can identify. I suggest that he lies down; he says he tried that already. I ask if he's been doing a lot of running lately? He says yes. OH! That's the problem! No worries, then! Then he whines "I want to go hooooommmeeee....." Awww, crap. I say "how about we just call your mom?" It's not too late, is it? Who the fuck knows? So, I call his mom, who was either sleeping or having sex, because she was not pleased when she answered the phone, and I hand it over. He spends some time trying to convince her to come and get him and eventually hands the phone back to me. She says "will they be going to bed any time soon? Because he's usually asleep by 8:00 so he's probably just tired." Oh. Awkward. I hang up and go in there and make them close the computer and go to wherever they will be sleeping. I take an adorable picture of the three of them all crammed into Child 2's bed and feel victorious!
10:30-11:00 Lots of yelling and laughing and bumping noises emerge from Child 2's room. I choose not to intervene and assume they will wind down eventually.
11:15 The door is opened and the sounds get louder. I go over to see what's going on and find Friend 2 sitting in the hallway, practically in tears. "They won't let me sleep!" he cries. "I know! I'll go sleep in the Man Cave!" and heads down the stairs. "NO!" I say, because there's no heat in the Man Cave and it's going to be really cold tonight. I herd them all back into the bed and give a stern lecture about being nice to your friends and keeping Friend 2 awake isn't being a good friend!!
11:15-11:45 I go back in about 5-6 more times to yell at Child 2 and Friend 1 about letting their friend sleep. Friend 2 is just lying there looking pathetic and exhausted.
11:45-12:00am Things start to quiet down and I think we've succeeded, until suddenly it all gets really loud all over again. I go back in there to find all three of them out of bed and running around. "What's up guys??" I say. Friend 2 responds with "I decided to play along, because... if you can't beat 'em... join 'em." I burst out laughing and just leave. This can't go on forever, can it?
12:15 Child 2 can be clearly heard shouting "LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED" and the bumping and yelling continues. I go in to investigate and they've decided to have a party because they've stayed up past midnight and are very excited about that.
12:15-12:45 More shouting and yelling and bumping sounds, but now it's getting late and I'm getting tired. Not only that, but Child 1 is starting to get cranky because they're keeping him up. I go in and start making threats. "You don't have to sleep but you do have to stay in bed and you have to be quieter than this. And if I have to come back here one more time I'm taking Yoshi with me." I figure that threat will at least get Child 2 motivated.
1:00 I go back in one more time but I don't take Yoshi because at this point I'm just so tired I don't even care anymore. "But we were just about to play football!" says one of them.
1:30 Child 1 is asleep but they're still awake in there and I no longer care. I put in earplugs and go to sleep.
2:30 I wake up briefly and can hear that they're still awake. At least they'll sleep late the next day.... zzzzz......
They were up at 7:00am.
