I declare today to be: Craptasstic Thursday

(Not to be confused with Commando Mondays, Wordless Wednesdays or I Don't Know Who the Fuck I Am Fridays..)

So, the other day I actually participated in a meme, despite the fact that I don't usually participate in memes, which you will know because I started the post by saying that I don't usually participate in memes and every time I do participate in a meme I always start by saying that I don't usually participate in memes. I received an award and I passed it on to 5 of my bloggy buddies.

Well.... ONE of these smartass buddies of mine decided to get all fucking "original" and shit and she made an award in return... just for me. That particular smartass is Amy, aka LLA_Princess, my twitter buddy and Sister in Shit, who also blogs at Not A Real Princess. She called it The Craptasstic Award and she even made a graphic for it!

I'M A PRETTY, PRETTY PRINCESS.

Which is all well and good, of course. Notice there are 2 S's in Craptasstic? That was by design. CLEVER GIRL.

But THEN she had the nerve to go and say "Challenge accepted, Game On."

Oh. Really?

You want to play, sister? You really want to play?

LET'S FUCKING PLAY.

See, I happen to have a little bit of experience with creating shitty awards that end in "tastic" and making graphics for them. Really ugly graphics. And so, my friend. My co-conspirator. My partner in crime. My, uh.... okay, I'm out. I am sending it back to you, but this time? With kittens.

The ball is in your court now, (not a real) Princess. Let's see what you got.

THE MEMETASTIC AWARD!

Here are the rules:

1. You must proudly display the absolutely disgusting graphic that I have created for these purposes (put it in your post, you don't have to put it in your sidebar, I think that would seriously be asking too much). It's so bad that not only did I use COMIC SANS, but there's even a little fucking jumping, celebrating kitten down there at the bottom. It's horrifying! But its presence in your award celebration is crucial to the memetastic process we're creating here. If you need a higher resolution version... I totally have one!!

2. You must list 5 things about yourself, and 4 of them must be bold-faced lies. Just make some shit up, we'll never know; one of them has to be true, though. Of course, nobody will ever know the difference, so we're just on the honor system here. I trust you. Except for the 4 that you lied about, you lying bastards! But don't go crazy trying to think of stuff, you'll see from my example that we're not really interested in quality here.

3. You must pass this award on to 5 bloggers that you either like or don't like or don't really have much of an opinion about. I don't care who you pick, and nobody needs to know why. I mean, you can give a reason if you want, but I don't really care.

4. If you fail to follow any of the above rules, I will fucking hunt your ass down and harass you incessantly until you either block me on Twitter or ban my IP address from visiting your blog. I don't know if you can actually do that last thing, but I will become so annoying to you that you will actually go out and hire an IT professional to train you on how to ban IP addresses just so that I'll leave you alone. I'm serious. I'm going to do these things.

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Brandi the Dysfunctional Supermom: Memetastic

I have decided to break my own rules and bestow this awesome award to somebody else, totally out of context and with no apparent rhyme or reason; to Brandi, who blogs at DysfunctionalSupermom.com. I'm only doing this because I love and adore her and think she's the bees knees and NOT because I promised her a guest post about a month ago and then totally forgot and now I'm trying to distract and stall while I actually write something. I said it's NOT because of that last thing. Not. I'm serious.

So, Brandi, here are the rules, which you are now obligated to follow, even though I'm not actually following them, I'm only giving you this award and not doing any of the other things I've listed here. That fact is irrelevant. Just follow the rules, dammit! And now, if you'll excuse me, I have some writing to do.....

Here are the rules:

1. You must proudly display the absolutely disgusting graphic that I have created for these purposes (put it in your post, you don't have to put it in your sidebar, I think that would seriously be asking too much). It's so bad that not only did I use COMIC SANS, but there's even a little fucking jumping, celebrating kitten down there at the bottom. It's horrifying! But its presence in your award celebration is crucial to the memetastic process we're creating here. If you need a higher resolution version... I totally have one!!

2. You must list 5 things about yourself, and 4 of them must be bold-faced lies. Just make some shit up, we'll never know; one of them has to be true, though. Of course, nobody will ever know the difference, so we're just on the honor system here. I trust you. Except for the 4 that you lied about, you lying bastards! But don't go crazy trying to think of stuff, you'll see by the example I've set below that we're not really interested in quality here.

3. You must pass this award on to 5 bloggers that you either like or don't like or don't really have much of an opinion about. I don't care who you pick, and nobody needs to know why. I mean, you can give a reason if you want, but I don't really care.

4. If you fail to follow any of the above rules, I will fucking hunt your ass down and harass you incessantly until you either block me on Twitter or ban my IP address from visiting your blog. I don't know if you can actually do that last thing, but I will become so annoying to you that you will actually go out and hire an IT professional to train you on how to ban IP addresses just so that I'll leave you alone. I'm serious. I'm going to do these things.

5. This one isn't actually a rule, but once you do the above, please come back here and link up to the Memetastic Hop so that I can keep track of where this thing goes.

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Memetastic Hop

I'm having a good deal of trouble tracking where this thing is ending up, so if you've been a lucky recipient, please link up with your celebratory post so we can all enjoy the various acceptance speeches and bold-faced lies you've all come up with.

Incidentally, my rule about stalking your asses still applies. I know a few of you who have gotten this and haven't posted about it. You people are on my list. Not the list in this post, though, a different list. A worse list. Much, much worse.

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The Memetastic Award!

EDIT: BTW, that's pronounced meem-tastic. I didn't want you pronouncing it wrong in your head. How embarrassing....

I've created an award!! You know those blogger awards that go around the blogosphere, I've gotten a few before. It's nice, to get these things, it means that somebody likes you and wants to spread your word. (That actually sounded kind of gross, "spread your word." Please don't spread my word, I like my word the way it should be, the way nature intended, in its original unspread state. But you know what I mean). So, I figured there aren't enough of these things around, at least, I haven't been given one for a few months, surely the blogosphere needs another one! (Is "blogosphere" the right word to be using here? It doesn't look right to me.)

So, I present to you all: The Memetastic Award! Named as such because these things are memes and its purpose is solely to celebrate the memeness of the award giving process. Let's rejoice in our memeocity by passing this award on to other people! It will be memelicious! Okay, mostly I just want to see what happens, and how far this thing goes. Wouldn't it just be so cool if an actual meme was created from this? Not very likely, but a girl can dream, right? At this point I'm just hoping it makes it past my own blog.

Here are the rules:

1. You must proudly display the absolutely disgusting graphic that I have created for these purposes (put it in your post, you don't have to put it in your sidebar, I think that would seriously be asking too much). It's so bad that not only did I use COMIC SANS, but there's even a little fucking jumping, celebrating kitten down there at the bottom. It's horrifying! But its presence in your award celebration is crucial to the memetastic process we're creating here. If you need a higher resolution version... I totally have one!!

2. You must list 5 things about yourself, and 4 of them must be bold-faced lies. Just make some shit up, we'll never know; one of them has to be true, though. Of course, nobody will ever know the difference, so we're just on the honor system here. I trust you. Except for the 4 that you lied about, you lying bastards! But don't go crazy trying to think of stuff, you'll see by the example I've set below that we're not really interested in quality here.

3. You must pass this award on to 5 bloggers that you either like or don't like or don't really have much of an opinion about. I don't care who you pick, and nobody needs to know why. I mean, you can give a reason if you want, but I don't really care.

4. If you fail to follow any of the above rules, I will fucking hunt your ass down and harass you incessantly until you either block me on Twitter or ban my IP address from visiting your blog. I don't know if you can actually do that last thing, but I will become so annoying to you that you will actually go out and hire an IT professional to train you on how to ban IP addresses just so that I'll leave you alone. I'm serious. I'm going to do these things. Starting with the 5 of you I'm about to pass this award on to.

**NEW** 5. This one isn't actually a rule, but once you do the above, please come back here and link up to the Memetastic Hop so that I can keep track of where this thing goes.

Okay, here I go!!! Are you ready? I'm excited.

5 things about myself, 1 of which is actually true:

1. I almost made it into the Guiness Book of World Records for "Most Rattlesnakes Sat in a Bathtub With" but I freaked out at 81 and ran out of the room. The biggest regret of my life.

2. I once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

3. I have a weird compulsion about having clean hands. My hands must be clean at all times or I have trouble concentrating on whatever I'm doing.

4. I have a birthmark in the shape of a cherimoya on the back of my right calf.

5. I am a Level 9 Cleric on Dungeons and Dragons


And now I will pass this award on to the following lucky recipients: **

1. Big Daddy, from Big Daddy Autism

2. frazzledmomma, from Living With Logan

3. Dani G, from I'm Just That Way and That's Just Me

4. Jennie B, from Anybody Want a Peanut?

5.  tulpen, from Bad Words



** If you are not listed here, please don't be mad at me, it's not because I don't like you, because I do. I like all of you, even those of you I've never met and don't know. I've picked people that I figured would pass it on so you'll likely get it eventually if they all follow the fucking rules. Also I want to watch you all scramble over who gets to list Lynn first. ALSO, I listed tulpsters because she fucking hates things like this and now she has no choice but to go outside her bloggy comfort zone. I know where you live, you know, tulp. Or, at least, I could probably find you with Google maps if I knew your real name.

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