The funniest thing I've seen all week

This week there are three things.

Thing the first is from a post from my friend Bec who blogs at Snagglebox. This picture is being taken out of context, from a very informative post she wrote about autism and pronoun reversal, but I saw this and couldn't stop giggling about it for days afterwards:

Thing the second is just a random tweet that passed by my timeline, from @Leggalicious. ALSO couldn't stop giggling about this one for days. I told her she's a fucking nutjob. She agreed.

And thing the third, which I'm guessing a lot of you have seen already because I've been talking about it for days. The best Facebook thread I have ever participated in, hands down.

Seriously, this shit is internet comedy GOLD.

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The funniest thing I've seen all week AND more about how dumb I am because you guys like that kind of thing

First things first:

GERMAN KITTY WATERMELON!!!

DIES IST MEINE WASSERMELONE!  LASSEN SIE MEINEN ALLEIN WASSERMELONE!

Apparently there was a study about Triclosan, the active ingredient in things that are anti-bacterial, which said something like it gets into your muscles and makes those muscles not work anymore. I don't know, I'm hazy on the specifics. So, hubs sent me to the store to get new soap that would replace everything in our house that is anti-bacterial. (Hey, wouldn't it be great if there was some kind of... oh I don't know... regulation? Which made it so the products we purchase were safe to use and wouldn't cause our muscles to totally degenerate until we're dead and we wouldn't have to throw out everything we had already purchased and go buy brand new stuff? Wouldn't that be awesome? [Oh my god, she used the word "regulation" !!! BUUUUUUURN HER!!!])

So, I'm at Target (of course) and I'm browsing their soap products, and I pick up one and start to read the ingredients to see if there's any triclosan in it. Now... I have really bad eyes; my vision is just complete shit, so I'm standing there in the aisle, squinting my ass off, and I shit you not, I spent at least FIVE MINUTES reading all the ingredients in this product, looking for triclosan. See those small capital lettered words there right above the bar code and after the word "ingredients"? Those are the ones I read. Squinting. In the aisle. Took me five minutes to get through them.....

I looked much like this, I would assume:

The good news is that I found out later there's no triclosan in this particular product.

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The funniest thing I've seen all week AND song of the day

#penisdog

AND Mayer Hawthorne




It's important that you listen carefully to the lyrics in this one. You won't hear them on the radio...

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The funniest thing I've seen all week

From my awesome pal Amber at Parenting. Illustrated with Crappy Pictures.

I don't think I need to explain... that eyeball is doing all the talking....

Also this:

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

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The funniest thing I've seen all week

Oh? MY GOD. I cannot stop laughing at that cow. This is from the always awesome Kendall, at This is Not That Blog. Go there to see more, but really, the cow is the best part. LOOK AT THE COW!!!!!! IT'S SO FUNNY!!!!!

Also, if you're on Twitter and you like to laugh (I know, that's probably not very many of you) you need to start following @RideOrDiePudge. This chick is funnier than I am, I'm not kidding....

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The funniest thing I've seen all week

I have 2 things this week. Actually there were way more than 2 but I can only remember these right now. That may be the problem with writing these things when I'm drunk. Maybe. Whatever.

The first is a cartoon I found on Moms Who Drink and Swear. I asked Nikki for permission to use it and she said she stole it from somebody else. Whatever!

The second is a text I got from my husband. See, I was at Costco, and he had requested that while I was there, I get a bag of flour (he likes to make bread.  ) Except, the only flour they had was in 50 pounds bags, so I texted him "Sorry, I'm not getting a 50 pound bag of flour" and he responded: "Yes you are. And get a mule, too, to carry it home. Also supplies so we can pan for gold."

LOLs all around!

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The funniest thing I've seen all week

I may or may not make this a weekly event. It depends on how drunk I am this time next week.

Anyway.

What is this, I wonder?????

Could it be.... a zombie french fry?? Because OH MY GOD THAT'S A MOTHERFUCKING ZOMBIE FRENCH FRY, BITCHES.

That's just a teaser. Do you want the whole thing? Go see Kendall for the good stuff.

Edit: I was drunk when I posted this and for some reason I had turned off commenting. I'm not really sure why. Sorry about that. It's back on now.

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