xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#' Yeah. Good Times.: Parents on Facebook: Beware of reddit

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Parents on Facebook: Beware of reddit

Many of you guys know that I read reddit but for those of you who don't even know what I'm talking about, reddit is an incredibly popular website where people, called redditors, post images and links for other people to see. Posts are then "upvoted" or "downvoted" and the popular ones move up in the ranks for more people to see while the unpopular ones disappear forever, never to be seen again. When redditors post links and their links are upvoted, they receive what is called karma, which is a number next to your name that shows other redditors how popular you are.

For example, here is my karma.


Yeah, I'm kind of a big deal.

But actually, no I'm not, because reddit karma is totally meaningless.

I like to say that I love reddit but I hate redditors. I look at the funny pictures of cats but I try to stay far away from the comments, because redditors are complete assholes. They are selfish, they are unbelievably mean, they care about themselves, they don't give a shit about you, they know more than you do, and they have absolutely no problem with telling you all of that. The average redditor is a 20-something man with no kids and is a parenting expert. You know the type: they know how to parent, and the actual parents are all doing it wrong. And... like I said... they are incredibly mean about it.

There's a rising trend of late for redditors to take things they've seen in their Facebook feed and upload it. Other people's information, other people's pictures, it's all fair game when you're trying to win karma. Reddit actually has a policy (one of the five rules that they have) that you're not allowed to post somebody else's personal information or link to their Facebook page, but there's nothing stopping anybody from taking screenshots and uploading them to imgur, or of outright stealing other people's pictures.

The reddit post that inspired me to write this post is called "From my FB feed: HELP ME! Tomorrow is school picture day and someone is INSISTING on wearing what he believes to be the coolest outfit ever. All efforts to convince him otherwise or to make slight modifications have thus far been a complete failure..." A (probably) 20 something man stole a picture of somebody else's child, copied and pasted what the parent said about their kid, uploaded it for the world to see, with the intention of calling out their parenting and having a little reddit circle jerk about that person's questionable choices. And boy did it work! This post hit the front page and this redditor got a lot of karma for it.

And when I say "for the world to see," I really mean it. Popular posts on reddit are viewed by multiple millions of people. Even unpopular posts get thousands of views, but reddit links have been known to take down entire sites because of the sheer volume of traffic they generate. So, here we have a redditor, who has taken a picture of somebody else's child and made it so that child's picture was viewed by millions of people. And do the parents know this? I wrote to him but haven't heard back, but I can't imagine that parent would have given permission for this. (If I hear back after posting this, I will update).

Now, I'm sure critics of this post will cite the copyright offender's battlecry "if you didn't want something to be shared on the internet then you shouldn't have posted it on the internet," but we're talking about parents posting pictures of their children to their own Facebook wall, with the belief that their picture will only be viewed by their friends and family. You can have your privacy settings locked down as tight as possible, but one of your "friends" can still take your pictures and use them however they want. It's not an issue of Facebook privacy policy, it's not an issue of reddit privacy policy, it's an issue of people being assholes and exploiting your personal information for a meaningless number on a website that doesn't matter.

I am incredibly disturbed by this and I'm writing this post so that parents on Facebook are aware. There's nothing Facebook can do, there's nothing reddit is willing to do, the problem lies between people and whoever their FB friends are. And so I want you to know that you need to be really careful about who you are friends with on Facebook, because you have no idea what people are doing with the information you post to your wall. Scrutinize your friends list: how many 20 something men with no children are in there? How many of them are assholes who don't care about your privacy? Find out. Unfriend them before a picture of your kid goes viral, because by then it's way too late.



Comments (22)

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Well that's freaking scary. I had no idea. Thanks.
I hope I don't have friends like that...KNOW YOUR FRIENDS!!!
People really can be such assholes and so short-sighted. Ugh.
A thing like Reddit is probably one of the biggest reasons I should give up blogging about my family. I toy with throwing in the towel from time to time, mostly for reasons like these. In the meantime, I just live with infrequent bursts of anxiety about what I've gotten myself into.
1 reply · active 604 weeks ago
I feel your pain
Holy cats! Thanks for the warning. I'm completely reddit clueless so good information. I don't see a follow button for you or I would follow you. Guess I'll have to pimp your button on my blog so I can keep up with you.
Since you're really the only friend I have besides Laura, I think I am good. But I will keep an eye out for any weirdness, because you never know about my family.
Thanks Jill!
Urgh, this is so disturbing but sadly not surprising. Another really upsetting trend is using stolen photos as the 'before' shots in Facebook ads for amazing new weight loss or fitness products. I feel so bad for those people every time I see one come up in my feed. I also feel really nervous for friends who post stuff about their kids to their feed without restrictions.
That is especially irritating because if it came from the redditor's Facebook feed, then the parent and child are probably someone he knows, and the parent probably added him as a Facebook friend for a reason, and he's publicly mocking her and her child for his own benefit. Lovely.
1 reply · active 604 weeks ago
EXACTLY. I hope the parents of that kid at least know about what's happened :(
Wow. That's cold. "It's an issue of people being assholes and exploiting your personal information for a meaningless number on a website that doesn't matter" I have over 500 FB "friends," most of whom I hardly know anymore. This definitely makes me want to rethink my friend list AND how many pics of my kid I post on my blog that truly anyone can see. Thanks for this!
I don't even know what to say about the reddit thing. People who are going to be assholes are just going to be assholes it seems. I'm waiting for our time to get slammed, frankly. I have so much out there. If someone wants to go after me, I'm worse that a sitting duck. I'm a duck lounging on a floaty, drinking a pina colada with her hat over her eyes.

But I do have to mention -- I think that kid's got style.
1 reply · active 603 weeks ago
The kid totally has style
Definitely a reason not to mom blog (a way I thought I might monetize my Hypothetical Future Children™), but I have to say, that little dude in his cargo pants and cowboy hat is ADORABLE and it is the coolest outfit ever. School pictures be damned.
SCARY. I just clicked the link and the image has been taken down. Good news. Thanks for the heads up!
1 reply · active 582 weeks ago
I had a women I thought was my friend steal a picture of my son from my FB page and post it to STFUparents.com. So, there was a picture of my kid on this website for 3 months before a different friend of mine caught it, and I had it taken down. The comments were pretty freaking brutal.
2 replies · active 582 weeks ago
At the time the picture was taken, my son was 11 months old.
Holy shit! :(
When you get right down to it, with everybody having a camera right in their hand 24/7, anybody practically anywhere can be taking pictures of our kids without our knowing it and doing god knows what with it. We can't police the assholes of the world, just our reactions to them, and I'm doing my damnedest to not react at all. It's yet another form of bullying, and I refuse to let anyone have that kind of power over me and mine.

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