xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#' Yeah. Good Times.: Facebook: A minefield of Lost spoilers

Monday, May 24, 2010

Facebook: A minefield of Lost spoilers

I'm so fucking cranky today. It's because I've been sick for two weeks. But mostly because I can't go anywhere on the Internet without either seeing something having to do with the Lost finale, which I haven't seen yet goddammit! or, about how Andrew Wakefield has lost his medical license in Britain. But I'm supposed to be funny and snarky on this blog, so I'll keep my hate-filled, Wakefield-related diatribe to myself and instead complain to you fine folks about how much you SUCK.

Yes, that's right. YOU SUCK. Because if you watch the show you've already seen the finale and therefore you know what happens and are able to have an opinion about it and can talk about it. But me, not so much! No, I have to wait until tonight, after the kids are in bed, when hubs and I can watch it on Hulu, because last night we hadn't yet seen last Tuesday's ep, so we had to wait until the kids were in bed and then watch THAT on Hulu, and by the time we were done it was 11:15 and the fucking show was all over, but Hulu, and even abc.com doesn't post the fucking show until the next day which means we have to FUCKING WAIT.

Maybe one day doesn't seem like that much to you (the assholes who have seen it already, I mean) but, I'm really bad at waiting for information. If there's something out there in the world that I want to know, I WANT TO KNOW NOW. This applies to every aspect of my life, but today, in particular, I seem to be taunted by all the rest of the people in the world who have this information that I still have to wait for, and therefore I turn my attention to the subject of this post: Facebook.

Most of my Facebook friends are also online friends that I share other online locations with, and I've been discussing this stupid show with them for years now. I know their personalities and I know their general opinions on the subject, so when they post what seems to be a nonspoiler Lost finale related status update, to the average eye, they haven't given anything away. But since I know these people, I'm forced to read WAYYYY too fucking much into their seemingly innocuous posts.

For example, Joey says: "Wow, Lost." Wow? What do you mean "Wow?" See, Joey is one of those people who pays attention to all the details and is able to apply a good deal of insight into the ongoing plot lines (he's smart: i.e., he doesn't have kids). Despite the general fuckedupedness of the show, I don't think he's often surprised by anything that happens. But he was surprised last night? Why? What happened to surprise him? Something he wasn't expecting? What happened? WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED??!?!?!?!?!?!?

Tina says "still peeved about Lost." STILL peeved? She was peeved before. In fact, I think she's been as pissed off about the whole thing as I have (she's the one who showed me this gloriousness)

So why is she "still" peeved? Did all her questions not get answered? Did something happen that makes her more unhappy than she was before? What happened? WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED???!?!?!?!?

And then there are all these people that are just fucking with me, and I'm forced to analyze what I know of their viewing habits to see if they're serious or not. Kat says "EVERYONE DIES!!!!" But she hasn't watched a minute of the damn thing. Marlowe says "OMG! It was awesome!!! Actually, no, it wasn't....Soooo saddddd.... Or maybe not... I didn't watch it!" Okay, that was funny, I'll let her slide. Aaron says "Darth Vader is Luke's father." Hee heee, that was funny, too.

I'll be less cranky tomorrow. Promise!

UPDATE: I hate (hated) this fucking show, I'm so glad it's over


Emily said...

Go to tv-dome.net and surfthechannel.com and you can find episodes up usually an hour or so after they air on the east coast.


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