Sometimes it just does that

Do you guys remember my toe problem? I thought I had kicked a chair or something when I was drunk and broke my toe? You remember, it looked like this: (or probably you don't remember because who really gives a shit?)

Right? Anyway, it wasn't getting any better, so I got an x-ray and it wasn't actually broken. So, I figured I'd just try to stay off it and it would get better on its own? But then I noticed it was starting to look even worse; like this:

at that point I figured I should go and see a Foot Doctor and see what the hell was actually going on in there.

So, last week I went off to the Foot Guy and he very quickly diagnosed me with having a pinched nerve in the ball of my foot; the technical term is Metatarsalgia. You don't need to know the specifics, it's a pretty boring foot problem. Anyway, he's telling me about it, and I ask what causes it, right? He tells me that there are a number of factors that contribute to this particular foot problem, but the basic cause is "sometimes it just does that."

Sometimes feet just do that, I guess. They get painful and then your toes end up all deformed and freaky looking. That just happens sometimes, he says. The cure for metatarsalgia? Well, that depends on how much you actually want to use your foot. Just plain old regular walking around? Might not even be worth it, because you need to spend $$$$$ on expensive orthotics in order to fix it. See, I tend to use my feet for more than just regular walking; I like to do that fancy walkin. The kind sidewalks aren't made for, so I need to actually spend the $$$$$$ to fix this fucking thing.

It reminded me of Louis CK's bit about getting older. You really need to watch this video, especially if you're over 40, because you will laugh. your. ass. off.

EDIT (fancy walking):

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