Yeah. Good Times.: Bath salts? Really?

Monday, June 4, 2012

Bath salts? Really?

I've been reading about bath salts; apparently they've been a craze for a while now. Most of us had probably never heard of them until the Zombie apocalypse started in Florida, but now we have no choice but to be all too much aware of them.

I've also been hearing stories about other things people, mostly kids, use to get high, like eating fucking laundry detergent... and I think WTF???? Laundry detergent?? BATH SALTS???? Kids are that desperate to alter their consciousness that they'll use any old shit they find lying around their house, just because it's accessible? REALLY?? In my day we raided our parents' liquor cabinets, apparently that's not good enough anymore.

I would rather buy my kid a bag of weed than have them snort bath salts. I know that will probably be a wildly unpopular opinion, and will create discussions of parents buying their kids alcohol as long as they drink it in the house, and you really want to say that those people are stupid, but BATH SALTS. Fucking bath salts!!!

I don't want my kids eating laundry detergent because it's legal and accessible. Pot, although illegal, is safer than fucking laundry detergent; and more than anything, I want my kids to stay alive. So if buying them illegal drugs that should be legal is the key to keeping them alive? Fuck it. I would do that.

(To the person in the Homeland Security office who reads my blog: I HAVEN'T ACTUALLY DONE THIS, IT'S ALL JUST HYPOTHETICAL!!!!!!!!)

EDIT: Okay, I'm told that the bath salts people snort and smoke to get high are not the same bath salts that you buy at Bed & Bath, it just has a misleading name. The laundry detergent thing is still totally valid, though!!!!!

EDIT2: Apparently kids also separate the alcohol out of hand sanitizer and drink it. There is so much I don't know....

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mayorgia 44p · 668 weeks ago

I hear ya! Let em have their weed. Way better than these crazy chemicals...
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psarrels 2p · 668 weeks ago

As I said on Twitter, they aren't the bath salts that we use in our homes. They just call it that. They are available at any smoke shop. It's really meth with just slightly altered chemistry to make it legal. When that chemical formula is banned, they alter it. It's totally legal and really fucking scary.

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catoctinknots 22p · 668 weeks ago

Remember the story about the girls soaking tampons in booze then inserting them for a faster buzz? All I could think was "Doesn't that burn? Or something?" Kids are crazy these days.

I'm totally glad you added that they aren't like bath salt bath salts. I was thinking I needed to fear my upstairs neighbor who appears to have a Bath & Body Works addiction...

I'm very supportive of what you are saying, its totally less scary to think your kid is smoking weed rather then doing something with your fabric softener that is going to make your kid go eat the neighbors dog or toddler or something.
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1 reply · active 668 weeks ago

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Johnny Virgil · 668 weeks ago

I could never figure out how that would work. When I was a kid, I would drop my mothers tampons in the toilet just to watch the expand. I assume the same thing would happen if you dropped it in a glass of vodka. How is that going anywhere after that? It would be like squeezing the water out of a sponge.
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thissideoftypical 57p · 668 weeks ago

they are resourceful little fuckers, them kids.

and if it isn't the smelly kind--WTF kinda bathsalts are they?

In my day we listened to rock and roll music and knocked our heads about until we were dizzy. durned whippersnappers.

*old man harumph*
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1 reply · active 668 weeks ago

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jillsmo 103p · 668 weeks ago

They're not bath salts at all, they're a chemical composition that's close to meth, they're just called bath salts, apparently to discourage people from wanting to eat them, and also so you can sell them in stores (not Bed & Bath stores, smoke shops and such)

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Tina · 668 weeks ago

Prescription drug use is big here. Kids steal their grandparents' meds, mix them up, sell them, etc. Little do they know that most old people take a lot of drugs for irregularity, not to get high!

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littlebitquirky 53p · 668 weeks ago

Now that you know that "bath salts" aren't what we pour in a bath to pretend we don't have kids...these scary-ass drugs are sold legally in most states! From what I understand, the states aren't moving to make them illegal because the manufacturers only have to do a simple chemical change and then they skirt the illegality.

It's really scary!
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Andrea · 668 weeks ago

Why can't they just try. Massive amounts of Mountain Dew with pixie Stix? A SU gar high just isn't good enough eithere I guess!
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1 reply · active 668 weeks ago

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cannibalisticnerd 9p · 668 weeks ago

That is a gateway to cola and pop rocks and we all know how bad that turns out.
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safetwo 14p · 668 weeks ago

What ever happened to "let them eat cake"? Wow...cake is really good. So is chocolate. I suppose it's too messy to soak your feminine hygiene products in, but you can really eat it! You gotta wonder where life got so sucky for kids that they would seek this stuff out.

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Jenn@Fox in the City · 668 weeks ago

So much to learn about before my kids get anywhere near the age to be confronted with this crap. Sigh.

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Forgotten · 668 weeks ago

You need to do a post on everything you need to know before your kids get out of Primary School. Geez. I just thought kids go high around here but now I'm questioning my decision not to live off welfare and homeschool. (I only say that because I'm a single mama and if I don't work I'd have to live off of welfare for those who think I'm trashing the system. I'm not. Just stating the obvious.)

Anyways, now I know to tell my kids not to accept anything called bath salts from anyone, don't take any pills unless they are from me or the school nurse, don't eat that stuff you found on the floor, quit picking your noses, don't scratch you butt immediately after you poo, and they only get hand sanitizer under direct supervision. Sheesh.
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Mommy Rotten · 668 weeks ago

"I would rather buy my kid a bag of weed than have them snort bath salts"

You're fucking awesome! And I totally agree. Not so much because bath salts are unhealthy (which they are) but more because when I imagine the zombie apocalypse I kind of hope my kids wouldn't be one of them. I mean I'd much rather my kid pig out on Cheetos on the couch than gnaw someone's face on the freeway.

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Sarah · 668 weeks ago

Ditto. The weird shit kids do these days in no way compares to the 'weird' shit we did as kids.

Not that i ever did anything weird. Never.
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tulpen · 668 weeks ago

Yep. I'd buy my kid weed.

hey. I wonder if my contacts are still good after 20 years.
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Dani G · 668 weeks ago

Why can't they just put on a little Europe '72 and smoke some pot?

Sheesh! Kids these days...
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Megan -Best of Fates · 668 weeks ago

I'm so out of the loop I was halfway through this post before I realized we weren't discussing a sudden uptake in fragranced bathing.
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Alexandra Tsaritsa · 668 weeks ago

Kids are also soaking tampons in vodka and sticking them inside themselves to covertly get drunk. Kids these days, I'm tellin ya. And if weed were legal, no one would be drinking motherfucking laundry detergent-- that is HORRIBLE. DEA, I'm lookin at you!
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TAL · 668 weeks ago

"Kids are that desperate to alter their consciousness" -- that was a pretty key thing you said. It would be cool if we could help them not feel so desperate. I have two teens (and a tween) and so far, so good. One of my teens has been through an extended tough situation and she has really impressed me with her coping skills.

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Her Ace in the Hole · 668 weeks ago

Well...I guess this is just as strange as the group of boys I knew in high school who would buy a bottle of Robitussin and down the whole damn thing. They called it "robo-ing". They would get REALLY wasted and so out of it.
Almost like dropping acid.
Strange.
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Alicia D · 667 weeks ago

boy this was a lesson for me. i had no idea about this. heard about the gummy bears soaked in vodka thing, but that doesn't sound so bad compared to this crap! i am so scared for my girls to grow up (and grateful my 17 year old is so cognitively impaired that we bypassed all this stuff. the only drugs she uses are antiseizure meds! )
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Bath salts? Really?

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