I don't think I've talked about Child 1 and homework here for a while. It's a struggle, to say the least. I'm incapable of doing it with him and we had a tutor for years but this year I decided we couldn't really afford it anymore, so I guess fuck homework? We just won't do it, I don't care. It's not worth it.
Fortunately for everybody in the entire world, though, we got the greatest teacher who ever lived this year, who happens to be a former Special Ed teacher, and who totally fucking gets it. So, I told him about our homework issues and maybe there's a way to figure out how to get him to do it by himself? In the end it's the goal, anyway, so let's give it a try?
So I said, let's come up with something really really easy just to get him in the habit of doing it by himself; like one page with two math problems on it, and I will withhold his fun stuff until he gets it finished and our wonderful fabulous teacher came up with a modified homework packet. Very very simple stuff. (Have I mentioned how awesome this guy is? He's also the teacher representative on the PTA Executive Board and I have now learned that he gets really embarrassed when you say these things to his face and in front of his boss, the principal, who also goes to those meetings).
Anyway, today was our first day having math homework. Child 1 has a mental block about math; in a nutshell it's an emotional thing for him, he hates it and it makes him cry. However, he's actually really good at math and I know this because 1. I've watched him do multiplication in his head and 2. His IAs constantly tell me that he whips this shit out like nobody's business when he's in class. His thing, though, is to say "I don't know how" or "I can't do this, it's too hard" or whatever.... basically he's pretending he can't so that he can get out of it, which is what makes homework such a struggle every time. But this time I took the attitude that "yes you can" and "whatever, take your time, I'll be in the kitchen and you can have your fun stuff whenever you're done."
So, he said "Tell me how to do this. I don't know how to do this, it's too hard" and I told him (and this is the part where I'm proud of myself, too) "I do not accept 'I can't do this' because you can do this. I know you hate math but I also know you can do it and that you're good at it" and I left the room.
Not 5 minutes later he comes running in, "I'm done!" and sure enough, the math problems were done. He did it all by himself, and with ease. I was SO GODDAMNED PROUD OF HIM. After the high fiving and the "you're awesomes" were done, I kneeled down and said to him "never say you can't do something, even if you don't like it and even if it's hard, because you can do anything."
He had the hugest smile. Good fucking stuff, man.
