Brandi the Dysfunctional Supermom: Memetastic

I have decided to break my own rules and bestow this awesome award to somebody else, totally out of context and with no apparent rhyme or reason; to Brandi, who blogs at DysfunctionalSupermom.com. I'm only doing this because I love and adore her and think she's the bees knees and NOT because I promised her a guest post about a month ago and then totally forgot and now I'm trying to distract and stall while I actually write something. I said it's NOT because of that last thing. Not. I'm serious.

So, Brandi, here are the rules, which you are now obligated to follow, even though I'm not actually following them, I'm only giving you this award and not doing any of the other things I've listed here. That fact is irrelevant. Just follow the rules, dammit! And now, if you'll excuse me, I have some writing to do.....

Here are the rules:

1. You must proudly display the absolutely disgusting graphic that I have created for these purposes (put it in your post, you don't have to put it in your sidebar, I think that would seriously be asking too much). It's so bad that not only did I use COMIC SANS, but there's even a little fucking jumping, celebrating kitten down there at the bottom. It's horrifying! But its presence in your award celebration is crucial to the memetastic process we're creating here. If you need a higher resolution version... I totally have one!!

2. You must list 5 things about yourself, and 4 of them must be bold-faced lies. Just make some shit up, we'll never know; one of them has to be true, though. Of course, nobody will ever know the difference, so we're just on the honor system here. I trust you. Except for the 4 that you lied about, you lying bastards! But don't go crazy trying to think of stuff, you'll see by the example I've set below that we're not really interested in quality here.

3. You must pass this award on to 5 bloggers that you either like or don't like or don't really have much of an opinion about. I don't care who you pick, and nobody needs to know why. I mean, you can give a reason if you want, but I don't really care.

4. If you fail to follow any of the above rules, I will fucking hunt your ass down and harass you incessantly until you either block me on Twitter or ban my IP address from visiting your blog. I don't know if you can actually do that last thing, but I will become so annoying to you that you will actually go out and hire an IT professional to train you on how to ban IP addresses just so that I'll leave you alone. I'm serious. I'm going to do these things.

5. This one isn't actually a rule, but once you do the above, please come back here and link up to the Memetastic Hop so that I can keep track of where this thing goes.

---