Yeah. Good Times.: F-bomb potty mouth

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

F-bomb potty mouth

Child 2 has recently developed a potty mouth.

(I think I'll skip over the obvious jokes and just get to the point....)

It started with him yelling at the characters on Mario Kart, such as "WHAT THE FUCK, LUIGI???" and "FUCK YOU, YOSHI!!"

We had a little talk about the appropriateness of him using "grownup words;" threats of privilege loss were made, and then he started saying "freakin," instead.

Still not okay with me, although better than the alternative. On the other hand, it's really not that great when you hear "Where's my freakin' dinner, Mama?"

So, we had another talk, more threats were made... blah blah blah....

It has now changed to "F-bomb." Seriously. He says the letter "F" followed by the word "bomb." It's actually kind of funny. "I didn't get any F-bomb sleep last night!" and "I'm going to brush my F-bomb teeth!"

I guess it's an acceptable compromise, but I'm still not okay with it. Hubs and I tell him never ever ever ever to say these things at school, but we all know damn well that he's saying all the fucking curse words at school and has taught all of his little friends to do the same, because curse words are fun when you're 6!!

My point is as follows: Am I a hypocrite? I mean... I try.... really hard... to watch my language in front of the kids, but obviously I don't succeed all the time and I am clearly setting a bad example. Is it really fair of me to use this language around them and then demand that they don't? Even if we do have in depth discussions about the difference between "grownup words" and "kid words," remember that he's 6 and cursing is fun. I feel like a hypocrite.

On the other hand, is it really that much of a crime? Well, it's kind of creepy hearing the word "fucking" come out of the mouth of a 6 year old, but is it really that much of a problem? I guess it is, otherwise I wouldn't be talking about it right now.

Anyway, do you see what I'm saying here? What do you guys think?

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Jenn@Fox in the City · 697 weeks ago

Little Miss has started saying "What the heck is . . ." and that really bothers me. I honestly don't know if I say that or not but she finds it funny and I don't.

As for being a hypocrite . . . that depends on how you feel about the "Do as I say, not as I do" school of parenting.

1 reply · active 697 weeks ago

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@PaulJones3 · 697 weeks ago

I am a sailor mouth. I admit it. The Kid (now 12) was 3 and I let the s word fly. I heard it on repeat for 30 minutes. Now? Heck he learned them, and he will have to learn when to and when not to say them. That lesson comes hard and fast at school. At home I'm lenient, but his momma isn't. If momma aint happy aint nobody happy, so I go along with her rule.

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Verb Vixen · 697 weeks ago

I think language is important and agree with Wittgenstein that language defines our ability to think; we are limited by our language. If we're only cursing instead of using the vast array of vocabulary at our disposal to express ourselves we're doing a disservice to ourselves, our brains and others. That being said I also think that there are times, places, and scenarios where a curse is the only appropriate word or form of expression. I think that's important for kids to know as well. Clearly a 6 year old probably isnt running into many situations where cursing is necessary, but I think so long as you tell them its an adult word that should be respected and used properly and discourage the use of cursing as an everyday phenomenon then you've done your job well. Above all, I think we should just strive for accuracy in our language whether that word is a curse or not.

1 reply · active 697 weeks ago

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Cathy · 697 weeks ago

My nephew (who has FXS under the Autism Spectrum) started out saying "fucking shit" - it was hilarious the first 20 times and then not so much. He isn't in a home where swearing ever happens - so it's kind of strange that he started saying that, guessing he heard it in school.... idk. Anyway, my mother (his grandmother) took him and his brother to the zoo (and it was the year of the 17 year Cicadas.... (omg I am cringing just typing that) and they were ALL OVER the place at the zoo and people had umbrellas because they were dropping to their death as they walked (LOL) so my nephew says "Get me the FUCK out of here!!!"

Just had to share that story... it's my fave. Good luck - I think all kids start saying it - hopefully it goes away sooner than later!

1 reply · active 697 weeks ago

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Handflapper · 697 weeks ago

Hahahaha. When my older one was two, he told my mother his uncle (her son) was an idiot. "The last time I was here," he announced, "he was just an idiot. Now he's a dammit idiot." We told our kids that it was okay to curse as long as they were camping, painting, or had stubbed their toe really badly. Those parameters seem to satisfy them. However, we were aghast to hear our younger son, when he was about six, call his brother a "prick." Not that he wasn't a prick, he certainly was, but where on earth did he hear such a thing? We never found out, except we did learn that he didn't know what it meant and was completely confused at our berserk reaction.

1 reply · active 697 weeks ago

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Cathy · 697 weeks ago

OMG I was just thinking you could probably come up with a good drawing of the scene at the zoo! HA HA HA!!!!

1 reply · active 697 weeks ago

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@KBomb78 · 697 weeks ago

My 11 year old says "freaking" and what the "freak" all the time doesn't bother mebut the hubby gets all huffy about it! He says he may as well say the word becausehe Is thinking it! I say a good lesson is not always saying.g what you think! Btw I cuss like asailor!

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Carrie · 697 weeks ago

I see it as hypocritical, too, but know I will/would face the exact same problem. Maybe present it like driving/voting - you can only do it starting at a certain age. Paul makes a good point - outside of your home, a kid'll learn the consequences of saying them pretty fast!

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Mind of a Madman · 697 weeks ago

Just get your kid a "I have fucking terrets" t-shirt for when you take him out in public.... then you are totally covered!

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thissideoftypical 57p · 697 weeks ago

we've just gotten into the habit of saying "sorry" after we cuss in front of him--so when he does eventually learn to cuss, he'll always say sorry.

half ass? maybe. Fuckin MAYBE.

1 reply · active 697 weeks ago

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@therobotmommy · 697 weeks ago

Um, could you PLEASE stop writing about my son??? Seriously. This is getting fucking ridiculous.

1 reply · active 697 weeks ago

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Mommy Bags · 697 weeks ago

It is what it is. I have a truck drivers mouth I try my very best not to drop the f bomb, but dude I am Italian we drop the f bomb every other word you know what am fuckin saying? They will eventually drop some kind of bomb so just let them know that they are wrong and yes I am a hypocrite.

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highlyirritable 20p · 697 weeks ago

Jill, you are doing it all wrong. You need to swear more often, with more emphasis, and more creatively. This way, your kids become so immune to it that they never swear. Besides, who could compete with Mom's shocking, "HOW THE FUCK ARE YA?" to the school Principal?

Really, you need to step up your game if you want to see any progress here.

1 reply · active 697 weeks ago

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Firecracker · 697 weeks ago

Ex father in law is a pastor... haha (evil laugh) can't wait for the holidays f*cker. Errr... um JK, I think

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Amanda · 697 weeks ago

We've tried to stop cussing in front of the kids as well. Our 5yo is a parrot. This mostly works - except in the car. I read on someone's blog, DaniG I think?, that she tells other drivers that stuff they do like cutting her off in traffic makes them look fat. My boys also watch Kick Buttowski: American Daredevil. He says "awww biscuits." So we've allowed the kids to say that. Ideal? probably not, but they aren't saying "fuck" anymore. They both had a phase around ages 2 and 3.

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Lizbeth · 697 weeks ago

I'm right there with you. I cuss like a sailor and try to keep it from the kids but more often than not a good Fuck or God Damit to hell slips out. And then I get a e-mail from the teacher saying Alex missed a word on his spelling test and he was all, "God Damit to hell and back." I blamed it on his father.

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Gin · 697 weeks ago

I swear like a sailor after YEARS of working on a Marine Corps base. The Wonder Hubby, not so much. Both my kids swore when they were little. They both stopped. The Boy actually used to fuss me when I swore. Now he's just given up and tells his buddies he has the "Cussy McCussin' Mom." It's a phase, it won't last forever.

P.S. TB says Freakin', AND What the Heck all the time.

1 reply · active 697 weeks ago

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Kim · 697 weeks ago

My son (16) says he doesn't swear in school. But he is the one who had all the kids in his class holding their tongues and repeating "I won a math debate".

He's really into double entendres and sexual innuendo - no actual bad words, but he still gets in trouble for it.

At home he sounds like a sailor on shore leave (sounds just like his grandma).

The latest thing he screamed at my husband (his stepfather) - "GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU GLOBULOUS FUCK!"

2 replies · active 697 weeks ago

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Patty · 697 weeks ago

Sorry. I can't say whether it's hypocritical, but it IS funny. F-bomb? So, so, so funny! I don't think that would bother me so much; it's obviously better than the actual word. But what do I know?

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C... · 697 weeks ago

That's very funny either way. My son has used curse words out loud but knows better and he's 10. He knows even if I use them ... he does not, no exceptions. He fears my wrath ... muuaahahhhhaaa

1 reply · active 697 weeks ago

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@pugariffic73 · 697 weeks ago

With my 14 yr old (nt) we've always held the -home talk is home talk- with her. She never curses ever. Freaking and crap and bullcrap are a few favs. Never outside the house and NEvER NEVER EVER in front of Gran. Tommy on the other hand, will tell you to Fuck off, and direct you on how to get there. When people look at me funny, I just inform them that "his first neurologist said he'd NEVER talk"!

1 reply · active 697 weeks ago

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aspieside 42p · 697 weeks ago

I too swear a lot IRL. This was a real problem when my son started dropping the f bomb at the private school he used to attend. For some reason they were upset by this! We made a rule that he was never allowed to swear, explaining it is only an adult thing. He never swore again for years (Asperger's :) ) Then when he went to the public school for middle school and he kept coming to me asking. Mom, can I please swear, everyone else swears at school? At some point I sat down and talked about when to swear when not too. I mean lets face it he was trying to fit in so if all swearing in locker room what was really the harm? We still occasionally talk about it because it does get out of hand sometimes.
Hypocritical - no, are you going to give up wine too? um, hell no.

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MarsupialMama · 697 weeks ago

I'm really hoping this makes you feel better:

My 4 year old son first said "Oh dear, oh shit!" when playing with his trains. He then said "oh cwap" in front of the Bubs. Then I heard him talking to the iTouch saying "fuhing Bugs Bunny". He can pronounce the K sound just fine, so i was a little confused and asked if he meant funny, but he kept saying "fuhing". Then I heard him talk about "fuhing Spiderman" too....

Then the Bubs and I were arguing, (I'm like you, I try *really* hard not to cuss, but.... It's just not always possible, I can't watch my mouth 100% of the time and the moment my guard is down, all these expletives just come tumbling out of my mouth) and I shouted at him to "STFU Jackass!!" and I hear my baby boy repeat gleefully "jackass" as he was playing with his toys....

**hangs head in shame**

I gotta say though, it's SOOOO hard keeping a straight face when it happens!! My (favorite) ABA therapist laughs and tells me to "ignore ignore ignore" and that it happens to her a lot too, cause she has a really bad potty mouth too!! She has 4 kids and she caught her youngest dropping F-bombs too (he's 2)... I guess maybe that's one of the reasons I love her so much??

2 replies · active 697 weeks ago

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carlie · 697 weeks ago

The only reason why we freak out about our kids swearing is because we don't want other parents to look down on us or for our kids to teach other kids the bad words and then have to deal with those kids parents. They are all going to grow up and swear anyway. Is swearing a privilege a kids earns? Like a later bedtime or borrowing the car? That being said, I totally don't want to swear.....because I am a chicken shit and don't want to deal with other parents. :P

2 replies · active 697 weeks ago

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Kelly · 697 weeks ago

With both my kids, when the F-bomb became a really tempting word to say I told them to look me in the eye and say it. And they did. They were thrilled with themselves. Then I told them it's an "in case of emergency" word and they are not free to say it at will until they are 18. They seemed satisfied, for now (11 & 8)...I'm sure they say it when I'm not around, but as my sister used to say, "What Mama don't know can't hurt her."

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@Leighbra · 697 weeks ago

While I was reading this, my son said "You know what Eeyore is? AN ASS!"

Oh yes, you're very clever, boy child.

1 reply · active 697 weeks ago

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Catherine · 697 weeks ago

We teach by example and yes, it's a problem. It's just another bad habit. There is no way a school is going to let him walk around cursing whenever the hell he feels like it which is why it's just easier not to do it at all.

Having said that. Last night my 5 year old told all the other kids they were bugging the hell out of her. Hell is not so bad but still........where the F Bomb does she come up with this stuff?

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Rards · 697 weeks ago

Really though, let's be fair here...Yoshi does deserve a good fucking, the rat bastard.

4 replies · active 697 weeks ago

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Maggie Spitler · 697 weeks ago

My daughters' (7 and 9) favorite? The "really bad B word" . They actually call each other that, instead of bitch, which I've tried to convince them is vulgar. I cuss. A lot. That is one word I won't use, though, and that is the one word they do like to use. It's my fault. I was reading a book that had that particular word in the title, and my girl could read it. She just didn't know what it meant... :( I miss the days when "cash register" was a bad word around here....

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@chemgirljaime · 697 weeks ago

I firmly believe that you're not being a hypocrite and that there are just certain words that are ok for an adult to use that are not ok for a child to use.... I think it works along the lines of television ratings... G is poodlesticks (my non fuck word) and R is fuck.

I fully expect that I'll be a potty mouth mama... and my children will probably also pick up the bad habit, but I will definitely be teaching them the above and hope that they are smart enough to not use the language when they are going to get caught... which probably means I'll end up with a potty mouth household....

but really... it's not the end of the world... as long as they are still polite, use their manners and whatnot whilst in public... and save the potty for conversations with friends and in private... whatever.. there could be worse things.

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@kblooey · 697 weeks ago

My daughter's picked up the lingo from both of us, but her dad is usually the one who slips up. But we're much more likely to hear bathroom and body part words out of her 6 year old inhibition free mouth. She calls these words "inappropriate" and uses them as much as she can get away with. I do reprimand her, but I know she learned the curses from us. I sincerely hope this is a stage that passes soon, and that her ten year old self won't convulse into hysterics when she says "butt." Yet judging by the fact that she is dying to watch South Park, which she has determined is the "most inappropriate show," I think I'm in for a long slog. Which sucks, because I'm fucking sick of this crap.

1 reply · active 686 weeks ago

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corbinsheart 18p · 697 weeks ago

Ok. My 21 MONTH old (not even two yet!!!!) is saying shit.
WTH????
My husband thinks it's HILARIOUS. He tells our son to say "six" and it comes out like "shit". But I've heard him walking around the house just saying "shit!". I think he's really saying the cuss word and not trying to say six.
But what do you do?

1 reply · active 697 weeks ago

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The Reckmonster · 697 weeks ago

I cuss a LOT. I do the same as you - and try to limit what comes out around my son (he's 7), but I'm not idiot - I know he'll hear the words at a lot of other places besides home. We have an established rule that you have to be 18 to use certain words, so I can use them and he can NOT. My parents cussed like fucking heathens - but I knew better than to cuss "in public" or at school - but by the time I was in high school, I was allowed to "cuss WITH" my parents - like telling my mom that some chick at school was a bitch or that someone else was acting like a jackass...but that's about as far as I pushed the envelope. I don't think it's hypocritical to cuss but to still try and instill in your kids that there are places/settings where cussing just isn't kosher. It's just fucking life, man.

1 reply · active 697 weeks ago

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wyrz 24p · 697 weeks ago

When my 4 year old thinks I've said Fuck, whether I have or not, he says. "Dad, you shouldn't say Fuck. Fuck is not a nice word. Please don't say Fuck anymore.", which is a very mature thing to say, and it's really not fair that it makes me laugh. He's like a little potty mouthed saint and when he's mad he says things like "I'm so frustrated, it's not very nice that you're not listening to what I want. Next time, please do what I want." Which is REALLY effective in making us do what he wants. Sometimes, i wish he'd just say 'Fuck', so I could continue refusing to make pancakes at 5:30 in the morning.

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Cheryl D. · 697 weeks ago

I'm going to sound like a fuckin' bitch, but I do watch my mouth in front of my daughter. If I don't want her to use colorful language, then I feel I have to model that behavior. That's what I do! You have to do what's right for you and your family.

If you do choose to clean up your language, just know that you can unleash on here all that you want.

We love your potty mouth!

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Sarcasm Goddess · 697 weeks ago

Ok, I'm really sorry, but that is so fucking funny. I mean, I'm sure to you it's not, but seriously, "what the fuck is for dinner?" I died! I don't feel qualified to give you advice since I am not a Mama, but I can tell you with absolute certainty that if I have kids they'd be saying the exact same thing. I have the worst mouth in the world. I even make my husband cringe.

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Tabatha · 697 weeks ago

I'm a big believer in being straight up with kids and modeling what I want them to do. Sounds like you think so, too, since you're trying.

I would not think it was cool for my six year old to learn curse words from other kids at school.

Ordinary cursing can seem pretty lazy. For writers and lovers of words. You know what I mean? Maybe I've been using my Shakespearean insult mug for too long.

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@LaliQuin · 697 weeks ago

I can pretty much make a truck driver blush...I have been lucky that so far, my son has not picked up any of my trash talk.

But there is something hilarious about hearing a kid dropping the F-Bomb. Just hope he doesn't say "Hey Ms. ____ what the F-bomb is up with all this homework?"

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Stephanie 102p · 697 weeks ago

Last year I was teaching first grade. One of my little guys came running and shouted at me "D called me a fucking asshole". D's defense? "Well he said I was dumb first." I had to chew on my lips to keep my disapproving teacher look on my face when really I wanted to burst into laughter. That said, it was a problem, because that one little guy's language spread to all of the other kids like lice. I've never had to discipline for language so much in my teaching career. And the other parents were understandably upset about the language coming home in their little ones' mouths.

1 reply · active 697 weeks ago

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Ebony · 697 weeks ago

I suddenly feel less bad about my 20 month old saying "BUCK!" (and by "buck" he clearly means "fuck" and uses it appropriately) when we're in the car.

Also? "Fuck you, Yoshi!"? Gold. I am dead. Cannot even stop laughing right now.

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blogginglily 48p · 697 weeks ago

When my first was getting to the point where she was learning to speak we instituted the swear jar. $1 per swear, and the money went toward the child. Fast forward to two weeks in and we had sixty or seventy dollars in the jar, which we used to buy her a present. Two weeks after that we were at about $16. Two weeks after that. . . zero.

To this day I have never heard my oldest swear. I still swear constantly at work, but i'm really disciplined in front of the kiddos.

Having said that, I was putting Lily's coat on her one day and stood up. My back was next to the edge of a wall, and I rocked back into it and smacked my backbone.

"God!!!. . . " I trailed off.
"Damnit." Lily finished for me.

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chosenchaos 93p · 697 weeks ago

We haven't gotten to potty words yet but my middle-man is impossible to punish. Take away things, he doesn't care. At all. It completely doesn't affect him. F-Bomb is better. Maybe it's a phase. Isn't it all just a phase!

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wantapeanutblog 70p · 697 weeks ago

Swearing is fun! And also he's right. Seriously, Luigi, what the fuck?

No advice here. Let me know what works because I'm sure my 2 year old is not far behind.

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Lisa · 697 weeks ago

LOL at the "F-bomb". My 6 y/o learned the f-word at school and I've heard him say, "My hair is the F-word" not "fuck" but "the f-word". Cracks me up.

I am guilty of teaching him two inappropriate phrases, "Jesus Christ" with inflection and emphasis, and "Stupid ass" (dumb drivers usually have me saying this). Both of these phrases are really well received by my uber-religious parents. hee hee

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Becky · 697 weeks ago

Our rule at home is to never, EVER repeat daddy. Also, I knew I had to start watching my language when at four years old, Katie finished the phrase, "Son of a " for me. Good times.

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Lanae · 697 weeks ago

My 5yo has taken up the habit of saying SHIT all the time. Unfortunately it is something that I say from time to time, so I know where he picked it up. I can tell by the way he's using it that he says it to get attention. I realized after trying to curb it I was only giving him the attention he was vying for, so I have completely let it go. He doesn't say it in public or anywhere else besides at home. He knows its wrong, but I have to pick my battles and I am hopeful it will go away. This is the strategy I used when he picked up the F word when he was 2 -1/2 and it worked.

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Suniverse · 697 weeks ago

I swear. All the time.

The girl? I'm sure she does when she's with her friends, but I explained early on that she had an excellent vocabulary and she should use it, particularly around adults and her parents and particularly until she goes to college. And she's been really good about it.

So, I get what you mean, and I get that you don't want to be a hypocrite, but fuck that. You're the mom, and so you get to use fun language. And when he's older, he can fucking say whatever the f-bomb he wants.

2 replies · active 697 weeks ago

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tulpen · 697 weeks ago

I also *TRY* to keep my language clean around the kids...especially the one that can hear. But I fail. Often.

My four year old hearing one says 'freakin' a lot. Which kind of bugs me.

And the Deaf one? Does say 'fuck'. But thanks to his wonky speech it sounds more like 'fog' so I ignore it.

I learned to swear from my parents. They did not hold back. There was unspoken rule about swearing in the house... at around age 15, certain words were ok 'shit' 'ass' 'bitch'... all perfectly acceptable.

I didn't drop the F-bomb in front of them til I hit college.

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Doni · 697 weeks ago

You know, ultimately, they're just words. When my brother was touring Europe after college he met a family who's dog's name was Fucky. Fuck (though not spelled the same) means seal in French. I think kids get more joy out of using those words because they typically get a big reaction. We've always just pulled the kids aside and explained blandly and calmly that some people get offended by those words and they should consider their audience when choosing their words.

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Heather · 697 weeks ago

Kids swearing is hilarious. But it's funnier when it's someone else's kids. I caught my toddler saying, "I love my frickin' cat" while she was petting Mongo. Oops. And HA!

Yeah. Good Times.

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F-bomb potty mouth

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