xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#' Yeah. Good Times.: I'm a Scrooge and I'm cool with that

Monday, November 21, 2011

I'm a Scrooge and I'm cool with that

This is a repost. I originally wrote this last year and I'm just posting it again because I like it :)


I hate Christmas.

Yep. I just said that. Take a minute to process.

Why, you ask? Well, let me tell you. First, the obvious: it's not because I'm Jewish. Okay, it's not just because I'm Jewish. We actually celebrated Christmas when I was a kid, I'm not really sure why. Probably because my parents wanted presents, too, and if you only do Hanukkah the adults don't get anything. But we actually had a little plastic tree that my mom would put on the dining room table, and for a few years there we had stockings actually hanging from the mantle (with care). So, you can't blame my Jeweyness on this. It would be more accurate to blame my atheism on it, but I'll get to that later after I explain some more.

No, what I hate about Christmas is that it is the king of what I call "Forced Gift Giving Days." Gifts are not optional on Forced Gift Giving Days, especially if you spend the day with people who actually do like Christmas, they're going to expect that you give them something. I hate this idea; actually the whole thing seriously pisses me off. You have these days where you're required to give gifts to people, and sometimes they're people you never speak to any other day of the year and actually don't really like very much. WTF?? What is the point of that?

My point is that you shouldn't need a holiday to be nice to the people that you care about. If you want to give somebody a gift to show your appreciation, you should do that on any day of the year that you like. And I do, actually, about 10 years ago I instituted my "For no particular reason" gift giving policy, and if I ever want to help somebody out or tell them I like them, I do that, even if it's March 15th and not December 25th. (actually I'm pretty sure March 15th is the Ides of March so that may be a bad example, but that was the first date I pulled out of my ass head.) I give gifts to my kids' teachers on May 10th (another ass/head date), I give gifts to my friends on September 22 (that's actually my birthday: make a note!!).  My kids get showered with fucking toys all year long (grandparents) they certainly don't need another haul of crap on this one day out of the year.

Now, maybe you're thinking that Christmas is a beautiful family tradition and I shouldn't be depriving my kids of the experience, but, you know, there are other days out of the year that are beautiful family traditions where gifts aren't required, and my kids are going to be taught to appreciate those days, instead. It is my intention to raise them with this attitude that I have, that if you love somebody, you tell them that on any day of the year, and not just the one day that has been assigned to telling people you love them (February 14th. EWW!)

Now, maybe if Christmas were an actual holiday worth celebrating, like if I believed in Jesus and wanted to celebrate his birthday and appreciate HIM, I could see how Christmas would be something I would be in to, but I am an atheist (actually more of an agnostic, but that's not the point right now) and even if the holiday were still about its actual purpose, which it isn't, that's just not a day that interests me. But, of course, we know that Christmas is about rampant materialism and supporting our capitalist society and showing off to other people all the shit you can or can't afford and has nothing to do with good will toward man or love thy neighbor or any of that shit. What's important about Christmas is that retail businesses can have large 4th quarter profits to show their shareholders that they're doing well and still a safe investment.

Why the fuck would I want to celebrate THAT?



Comments (44)

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Awww. I get it though. I celebrate Christmas. I'm agnostic too but I love the sights, the music, the scents....everything about it...except decorating the tree or the house (i hate that). I'm not sure why I celebrate exactly...I guess for the warm fuzzies the holiday gives most people. But you're right...any day is a good day to be generous. I could probably use it more when it isn't expected anyway :0)
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You said: "My point is that you shouldn't need a holiday to be nice to the people that you care about."

See, Jill, this was your first mistake. I am almost NEVER nice to people, *especially* the ones I care about. Because unfortunately, they're the ones who also piss me off the most - usually the most at Christmas.

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1 reply · active 696 weeks ago
Hmmm. I see Christmas as about eating as much as gift giving. I really like the eating part of it.
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1 reply · active 696 weeks ago
heh heh heh.

yeah
I get the hate. I'm an atheist, and we don't celebrate the Jesus part of it at all: more of the winter solstice (without sounding like too much of a hippie) + Santa. We say Santa comes and brings gifts (if you're not an asshole) and we give gifts to loved ones because we're celebrating the wintertime and family. We also only give gifts to the kids, really, and the adults do a secret santa type thing for a nice amount of money. That way grown-ups end up getting only one THOUGHTFUL gift, rather than some crappy scarf that was gifted to everyone in the family.

Have to say, though: as a kid i was SUPER JEALOUS of all my Jewish friends. I would go to temple with them 24/7, help them build their booth/tents on Sukkot, house all their gelt and dance so hard at all the bat mitzvahs. Also? One of my fave snacks to this day is peanut butter and jelly on a matzah.
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I love the lights, especially the icicle lights. I hate the fact that Christmas takes over every aspect of public life for two months. What's a Jew to do? I love it when other people enjoy the celebration. I just wish there were some public spaces without Christmas-- other than a synagogue, which is not my thing.

On the positive side, my home is a Christmas-free zone, to which I invite others who need refuge from the pressures of enforced celebration and rampant materialism.
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2 replies · active 696 weeks ago
That's awesome. Can I come to your house?
Big Fat Gini's avatar

Big Fat Gini · 696 weeks ago

I totally get it.

For me, it has more to do with the fact that Jesus is pretty much taken out of it altogether (except for the random friend who makes a birthday cake for him, which is a totally different side of "behaviors that annoy me"). People are so greedy at Christmas. What I can get for myself? How much money can I spend on my kids? Do my four year olds need iPads? How early can we shove Christmas down our consumer's collective throats?

There's no remorse for the bad behavior. Fighting over the latest "it" toy, trampling the greeter at Wal*Mart, being so caught up in the "me-me-me" side of the holiday that they completely forget that this is the exact opposite of what the entire celebration is about. Even if you don't believe in or celebrate the birth of Jesus (which is cool with me, whatevs), you have to admit even Santa has to be a bit disappointed.

And if my husband would let me get away with it, I'd have a tree, a manger scene and dinner with the non-dysfunctional members of my family. That'd be about it.
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2 replies · active 696 weeks ago
"...dinner with the non-dysfunctional members of my family"... uh, you have those???!!!! :D
Honestly, if I were a religious person I would be even more pissed about Jesus being taken out of it. It seems like more of an insult than anything else.

On the other hand, my kids need an iPad. I'm just sayin *cough*
I FUCKING HATE CHRISTMAS!!
I too am an atheist. DIE HARD atheist these days since I live in the middle of mother effing BIBLE BELT. I am just sick of it. Im sick of my kid losing his mind on a daily, sometimes HOURLY basis because the waiting is too much for him. Im sick of him now resorting to "mom, why don't you have enough money!!!??" Yeah, im losing my effing mind over Christmas.. Its a good thing My Therapy starts today.
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2 replies · active 696 weeks ago
(((((YOU)))))
i like the Jesus parts. i like the food. some years i like the presents.
i can live very nicely without the same 18 songs playing repeatedly for 2-3 months. i'd be very happy to have less pressure. i can't afford to buy gifts when i barely have enough to live on most of the time, which causes me great angst. figuring out how to divide up our time amongst the various chunks of our families is another pain in the butt. and decorations are messy and take up what little space i have to live in.
then i'm the bad guys in my family for not loving it all. blah.
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1 reply · active 696 weeks ago
Obviously you have never read the bible because I think somewhere in the back there's a chapter on Walmart's profit margins.
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1 reply · active 696 weeks ago
That must be in that "new" testament all the kids keep talking about
I despise this concept too--along with the "this wasn't on my list" attitude that some have when you give them something that YOU would like them to have (the DEFINITION of GIFT, motherfuckers!!!)

I wrote about this too last week--from a religious perspective, but still. THiS SEASON BLOWS.

and my sons' birthday falls RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT. you know what was great about that year? since i had just given birth 3 days BEFORE, people laid off me since i was in the middle of a "Crap i have a kid!" freak out.

Now they just think i'm mean and scroogey--and i help perpetuate that whenever i can.

And i'm gonna take out a bell ringer if they even LOOK at me wrong. You feel me?

*grumble*

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1 reply · active 696 weeks ago
Grumble, motherfucker!
I feel you. My family thinks I'm weird because I go ALL OUT for Halloween and then only grudgingly decorate for Christmas. But Halloween is fun and cool and the weather's pretty good, plus in my neighborhood you walk around carrying an adult beverage while the kids trick-or-treat, and that's just fucking fun.

Christmas has gotten too expensive and too greedy -- you can't just buy a gift you want to give someone, you have to get something from their "list". I shop sensibly and then my kids see certain spoiled friends get hundreds of $$$ of gifts, including my SIL overbuying for her kids even though she can't pay for her own cable bill (MIL does it). ????

It has gotten to the point where it's almost THREE MONTHS of the music and the ads, etc. ENOUGH ALREADY. Keeeee-rist.
1 reply · active 696 weeks ago
Me too! I'm famous in my circle of friends for my Halloween decorations, but I hate Christmas!
I hate the forced cheerfulness.

I hate the large family gatherings where I know my son is going to go apeshit and get punched in the face by a grownup (no, wait, that was last Thanksgiving).

This Thanksgiving, The Boy and I stay home and eat our pathetic turkey drumstick while the husband spends the day with the thundering herd.

We only buy Christmas gifts for The Boy and the grandchildren. Too bad for those who grew up - they're done.

When The Boy hits 18, he's gonna have a rude awakening when he doesn't get gifts on Christmas morning. Last year, I didn't put up a tree or decorate at all. He's already asked if we can have a tree this year. As long as he does all the effing work, he can have his tree.
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And that's awesome!
I feel the same way about Thanksgiving, a holiday where you're forced to give thanks for things. "My point is that you shouldn't need a holiday to be nice to the people that you care about. If you want to give somebody" thanks "to show your appreciation, you should do that on any day of the year that you like."
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1 reply · active 696 weeks ago
You have SUCH a way with words
I guess I'm in the minority here but I love Christmas. I love the lights and the smell of pine (although I do a fake tree because I don't want to kill one to decorate) and the songs and tradition. My son loves the lights and the presents... oh yeah and the food. The food is good. I guess it's just all in how you look at it. Maybe if you have a really good recipe like you do for the gravy, then you'd like Christmas just a little bit (and that would be okay - I wouldn't tell....) ;)
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1 reply · active 696 weeks ago
HA HA!! You're probably right. If I had a kick ass awesome meat pie recipe that I looked forward to making every year, I would probably love Christmas!
I love you so I wanted to comment on this.

I work in retail so therefore Christmas makes me shudder with busy, crazy, over-the-top requests and long days.
But I go home and see Christmas through my children's eyes. The awe of a decorated tree, the excitement over houses covered in lights, the repeat of my son singing Jingle Bells long after the holiday has ended, the mounds of cookies, the smells in my kitchen, warm bear hugs in sweaters from my hubby, and I fall in love.
I wish it was this lovely for everyone. Notice I didn't mention the gift giving. It's our last priority. :)
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1 reply · active 696 weeks ago
And that's awesome, but that's not really what the holiday is anymore, in my opinion.

It just is what you make of it, I suppose....
That's okay, I hate Halloween.

I used to love Christmas. But starting Christmas the day after Halloween also started a visceral loathing for the whole thing for me several years ago.
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1 reply · active 696 weeks ago
Makes sense
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Handflapper · 696 weeks ago

My husband's family does a huge Christmas--we even spend the night under one roof on Christmas eve, grownups, kids, pets. Even exes come. It's like the mafia--once you've been in, you never get out. And everyone exchanges gifts with everyone else, but we don't spend a lot of money. In fact, we compete to be the one to give the cheapest, tackiest gift. And THAT's what Christmas is all about.
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I love Christmas, kind of like the robotmommy and solodialogue. I also have a ball on Halloween and Valentine's Day. I pretty much take everything I like and ignore the rest. Which is what I do about people in general, and works out pretty well.
Better be careful...any more of this rhetoric and you're gonna have 3 creepy Christmas ghosts on your ass!
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September 22 - so noted.
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I could ditto a lot of people here. I love Christmas - especially through my son's eyes. I remember his first Christmas where I just wrapped up boxes and he loved opening them and loved playing with them. I love sitting in front of the fire, watching movies talking with my immediate family (yeah, just my husband). I love the gift giving, not because I don't believe that my husband doesn't love me, but actually taking the time to get me something from his own heart is the best thing ever. He gets very busy and sometimes needs a reminder to show it (birthdays, V-day, Christmas).

I hate lists... I want to see what you think of me. Not in a "I'll hate you if you don't get me something I want" kind of way. Just in a "I thought of you and I thought you'd appreciate this." And sometimes, it comes out harsh because I get crap. I don't mean like just a bad gift, I mean like, that gift that you only pick up because it's by the door and you said "oops, I forgot her, I should get her something". If that's the most you think of me, don't get anything. It hurts less. And I wouldn't care.
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That's ok. My husband and I are valentine's day grinches. Same sort of concept; entirely understandable.
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I agree that forced gift-giving is not cool. The worst was when I worked in an office and we had to give gifts to all the jerkys we worked with. But my extended family on my husband's side took gift-giving out of the Christmas equation. So 12/25 is more about getting family together, decking the halls, merriment, etc. It's pretty cool.
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Hi! I am totally late to the party (LOVING your blog, by the way--will follow once I'm done browsing). I LOVE Christmas, and my husband is... "not that into it" he says. Although it's starting to catch on with him. I like the decorations and the lights and the FOOD and seeing people and getting cards and sending cards and watching Christmas programs and movies and it just makes me very happy.

As for gifts, I am, by nature, generous, so I DO give gifts all year. But I also enjoy giving gifts at Christmas--the extra special something that I *know* is perfect for that special someone. Also, some of those things don't go on sale til around Christmas. ;)

I can certainly understand why you're fed up with the holiday, though. I guess I don't focus so much on the stuff that irritates me because there is so much good that I see.

I'm cheesy.
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1 reply · active 695 weeks ago
Also, I wanted to add that I don't think forced giving is cool at all. You should give because you want to. And I always want to. :)
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