xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#' Yeah. Good Times.: How I get my kids to cooperate when personal hygiene is involved

Thursday, May 17, 2012

How I get my kids to cooperate when personal hygiene is involved

Earlier I was messing around with Child 2 and I noticed that his fingernails were really gross. I mean.... GROSS. They were long and fucking disgusting. They needed trimming.

(Here is where there should be a drawing of really gross, dirty fingernails, except I was completely unable to make that happen. I even traced my own hand on the wacom and no matter what I tried it just ended up looking like a bunch of mangled, dying finger puppets.)

So I grabbed the clipper thingies and grabbed his hand and he freaked out. He doesn't like getting his nails clipped. He always makes a big fuss and pretends that it hurts him, when clearly it really doesn't; the truth is that he's just kind of a pussy about things like this.

We argued about it for a while, I tried to reason with him about the importance of good hygiene and not being gross, but he just wasn't having it. Eventually I made him an offer he just couldn't refuse. That's what we do in this house, we make deals; we constantly barter. Do this for me and I'll do this for you, etc. I'm not sure what kind of future this is preparing him for, but... whatever. Hopefully not as a stock broker or a politician or anything. As long as I get what I want in the end is really what's important here.

So I say "I'll make you a deal: while I'm clipping your nails, you get to curse as much as you want." He was very intrigued by this, because usually these foul, foul words come out of his sweet, innocent face and I get kind of upset about it, because a 6 year old shouldn't be swearing!! And as long as we're being sincere, which I am, the truth is that I don't actually curse around him and I always yell at hubs when he does it. So, I guess it's hubs' fault. I hope he doesn't read this, and if he says anything to the contrary, he's a damn dirty liar!!

Anyway...... I gave him permission to curse like a drunken sailor the whole time I was clipping his nails and ultimately.... of course.... he agreed, because what 6 year old wouldn't want that??

It was painful to listen to, though. I clipped fast.