xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#' Yeah. Good Times.: Why I support gay marriage

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Why I support gay marriage

I'm saying WHY I support it, and not THAT I support it, because honestly there should simply be no question about it. There is no rational reason why somebody should not support the idea of two people who love each other getting married. I don't even want to hear any explanations about it, because if you don't support gay marriage? You're just wrong.

Today is the hubs and my 12th wedding anniversary. Long time, right? We had been together for 8 years before we got married, and we had never really had any plans or intentions to make it all legal, at least not in the beginning. Neither of us really saw the necessity of having a "contract;" because if you love somebody, why do you need a contract?

That was when we were young, though. Young, with no kids and no money. Then my brother got rich and was very generous with his family and suddenly.... hey! We can buy a house! No kids yet, but why not put down roots, right?

So, we have a realtor, and we're making offers, and the realtor asks us how we were planning on taking the title once we made the purchase. There were a couple of options, but it would be a lot easier if we were married. Less paperwork, she tells us.

So, off we went to Vegas, with a couple of friends, and we were married in the back seat of a limo in a drive-thru chapel. No ceremony, no family, no hoopla; let's just get this shit done and then go drink and gamble! 

Because being married would mean less paperwork when we bought the house.

And less paperwork was easier.

And that was the only reason.

And we were able to do this so easily because I'm female and he's male.

Does that seem fair to you? Because it doesn't seem fair to me. 

What does that say about the "sanctity" of marriage?

Oh by the way: Happy Anniversary, Hubs!



Comments (43)

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Congrats on your anniversary. 12 years is a long time, especially in today's society. When I tell people that my wife and I first dated in highschool, they look at me funny. I hope your day goes well.
happy anniversary. Don't celebrate by calling all your gay friends and telling them that story. LOL
Love it, love it, love it. We've been married for 5, together for 10 - similar justification. I needed health insurance. He had health insurance. Quickie courthouse visit and *poof*.

Irony - as an interracial couple, we've only been able to make *poof* happen for the last few decades. Seems so wrong that not all consenting adults can make the same decision for the same (or better) reasons.

Also - happy anniversary!! 12 years is silk/linen, 20 is china... Sounds like SOMEBODY needs to go to a bed and breakfast STAT :)
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1 reply · active 670 weeks ago
and somehow i just accidentally "thumbs-upped" my own comment. *facepalm*
Same-sex marriage has been legal here in Canada for years now. As a dual citizen (Canada and USA) I just don't get why the US hasn't done it already! Very, very odd to me. Good post.
4 replies · active 670 weeks ago
You don't have as many black people as we do. I know it's fashionable to blame hicks and hayseed in the south...but, many African Americans who are my friends have said they now can't vote for Obama since he is in favor of gay marriage and will stay home... I actually didn't even know they were against it until Obama cam out for it...weird.
Aaron--i taught in a predominately black neighborhood for YEARS, and i can tell you the homophobic feelings within the AA community is HUGE. your story doesn't surprise me in the least.

Also: hayseed. PURE. AWESOME.

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Well, when it comes to homophobia, I take Shakespear's point "I think thou doth protest too much". Sorry, but men who wear flashy clothes, gold in their teeth, spend hours at the hair dresser and walk around with their under wear showing in a largely matriarchal culture...have no high horse to look down on gay men from.
I'm just sayin'.
I also think this about Arab Muslims who put gays to death... those guys like to hang out with men only, in a manly way, doing manly things wearing dresses.
True--but Canada IS an incredibly ethically diverse nation, with a vibrant Black community, and is considered a "mosaic" rather than a "melting pot".
you know why else you support gay marriage? because YOU. ARE. AWESOME.

that is all.

*happy anny
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Happy anniversary and all that goes with that awesomeness.
This is a great example on how people don't realize that sometimes its about not knowing how lucky you are to have rights. You married for a house and love. They want to marry for love, not a house

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type type type.....delete delete delete..... x5......

Thank you. I can't find the words....but, thank you!
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Happy anniversary and LOVE THIS POST!
xoxo
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I think I love this post a lot. And I love what you're saying... it shouldn't be THAT you support gay marriage. It's WHY. And quite honestly, it's so ridiculous that people are so against such a thing. Really, when someone tells me they support gay marriage, I tend to think "oh good, they're a reasonable person."... Happy anniversary and thanks for writing this! :)
Yes, yes and yes! And Happy Anniversary!
I got married in a bail bondsman's office seven years ago. Not surprisingly, I totally agree with you! Happy Anniversary!
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The Lint Trap's avatar

The Lint Trap · 670 weeks ago

Preach it girl. I am in NC and as you can imagine this is a huge issue right now. I wrote a post about the same thing recently because it really bugs that people are hateful about this.

ps> how can i get adopted by your rich brother???
Happy Anniversary! Hope you 2 have many more years together! Thank you for speaking out and being such an awesome ally!
and this is why you're one of my favorite people......
1 reply · active 670 weeks ago
THIS is why? Really? But there are so many OTHER reasons!
Fantastic point, as usual! Hope you had a lovely day, complete with Rockband serenading?!
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1 reply · active 670 weeks ago
I wish. I have a cold and I can't sing when I'm sick :(
Thank you for being so blunt. :)
Seriously, I love it. And completely agree. Obviously, 'cause I'm smarts and all that.
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Happy Anniversary and may god have mercy on your soul!

That last part was the voices of everyone from my effing blog who has decided I'm going to hell for feeling the same way as you. Because the whole subject is dumb. Us straight people have done enough damage to the institution of marriage all by ourselves....allowing gay people to get married can only IMPROVE marriage stats. I guarantee it.

I'm off to go read some more hate mail! Hargugurrrgggh. I wish my readers were as awesome as yours (most are awesome...maybe I should compare three days from now. That's when the true bigots found my post...)
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1 reply · active 670 weeks ago
Send them my way!

No really.... *evil*
Exactly. Not enough people are brave enough to just say "you're wrong." Don't try to sugar coat it with state's rights, or the bible, or any of that shit. If you are against gay marriage, it is homophobia. I stand by that.

Happy anniversary. I read Margaret's comment above as "hope you have 2 more years together." :)
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2 replies · active 670 weeks ago
Brave could be standing up for what you believe, but for simply pronouncing other people wrong, shunning dialogue on differing opinions, and then simply pronouncing differing views as sexist, racist, homophobic, or what have you? That strikes me as a bit odd.

You might want to expand your worldview a bit: not everyone who opposes "gay marriage" is necessarily some knuckle-dragging homophobe, nor every soul in support of it some paragon of virtue. Sure, plenty out there just want to keep gay folks from getting ANYTHING...but simply not being convinced on the merits of redefining what "marriage" is in our society, on the insistence of folks who don't seem all that interested in even trying to make a convincing public case for doing so? It's a travesty that gay folks don't already have equal rights when it comes to pairing up - I also think that "marriage" does not cover gay unions. "Homophobia" cannot just be opinions that oppose whatever gay folks and their allies clamor for.
You just couldn't help yourself, could you?
Bravo! And Happy Anniversary! And you're wonderful! No, I haven't been drinking.
What about civil unions, Smo? California had robust, voter-enacted laws in place granting all the substantive benefits of marriage, just in a different name, and in the end...it was all struck down, by a court contradicting direct legal precedent, all because for many it seems to be less about equal rights than it is about the specific concept of "marriage" in our society. As much as I typically get [rhetorically] scoffed at for holding a semantics-based view of "marriage", those that will accept nothing short of that specific term/concept seem to be in the same boat. It all seems an odd overall game plan for promoting a CHANGE: flatly pronouncing others just wrong, intolerance for differing *opinions*, and looking to members of the courts to make new laws and even UNmake existing laws passed by the electorate and legislative.
happy anniversary! and... i agree!
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wait. . . you're MARRIED???
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1 reply · active 670 weeks ago
I also have kids!
Happy anniversary. Great post and great replies. I agree with you totally. But I have several gay members in our family, so I also support it.
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Happy anniversary!

Our wedding was similar... I wanted the drive thru chapel, but Al insisted it was too tacky. Maybe 'cause I insisted we be naked during the ceremony.

Of course I agree with you on the gay marriage thing. I wanted to mess with you and tell you off, but lack the brain power to pull that shit off this morning.
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K A B L O O E Y's avatar

K A B L O O E Y · 670 weeks ago

Totally agree, and it's a shame this is a subject of controversy. Also glad Obama finally got on board, especially since you know his previous position was just political bullish*t: of course he supported gay marriage. In a few generations, kids are going to scoff at us and wonder how this prejudicial position could have been held for so long.
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So you, heterosexual, used marriage to facilitate the easy acquisition of material gain instead of seeing it as a "sanctity"? And people who love and care for one another, view it as of ultimate importance and inviolability, who want to assure the other is taken care of in the event of any catastrophe, cannot because they are of the same sex? Yep, that makes a lot of sense... (insert sarcastic look here).
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I think it's not about guilt or innocence, but only just a different point of view. When we look with love, all things are justified. When we see a problem with the logic, all things considered again. I do not oppose or support gay, it's a matter of choice.

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