That awkward moment when Alanis Morissette wrote a song that one time

You people on the internet are making me crazy with the constant "that awkward moment when...."  It reminds me of Alanis' song Ironic, where she gives all these examples of things that are supposed to be ironic but aren't actually ironic. A black fly in your Chardonnay? Not ironic. A black fly in your Chardonnay and you're a fly catcher for a living? (IT'S A THING!) Possibly ironic. A black fly in your Chardonnay and you're an exterminator, employed at a winery? Definitely ironic. 

Should I go on? Okay, I'll go on.

Rain on your wedding day? Not ironic. Rain on your wedding day and you're a meterologist and you didn't predict rain on your wedding day? Ironic.

Ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife? This is only ironic if you have a Guinness-worthy collection of antique knives in your house and you're famous for it.

Good advice that just didn't take? You're just a fucking idiot, is what you are.

These things are unfortunate, but they are not ironic. Much like these things that are presented as awkward moments but aren't:

"That awkward moment when the USA leads the rest of the world in Olympic gold medals AND obesity."

and

"That awkward moment when girls today think it's cool to be 16 and pregnant."

and

"That awkward moment when people think it's cool to post pictures of their food on Instagram."

No. NO. NONE of these examples are actual awkward moments. They may be awkward, weird or might make you uncomfortable as concepts, but they are not moments. Alternatively, they are moments, but they are not awkward. Instead, they are dangerous or life changing or unfortunate.... but not awkward.

Here are some actual awkward moments:

That awkward moment when you get caught staring at the boobs of the girl sitting across from you in study hall.

That awkward moment when the cashier hands back your credit card and says "I'm sorry, but...."

That awkward moment when you're introducing people and you forget somebody's name.

Those are awkward moments. Get it right, Internet!!!

PHEW! Glad I could get that off my chest.  Well.... I feel better!

(By the way: Yes, I know I'm not the first person in the world to have discussed the flaws in Alanis' song. But thanks for pointing it out, nonetheless!)

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