Thoughts from a coffee shop

I just got a flat tire. While I was driving!! Thankfully I wasn't on the freeway and I limped along to a gas station where I put enough air in so that I was able to limp along to a Goodyear. Now I'm sitting in a coffee shop waiting for them to be done. Hopefully I'll be able to pick up the boys in time. Oh, and my phone is about to die.

Nevermind I just called hubs and he's going to leave work early so that somebody can pick up the kids on time.

There's a dude sitting 2 tables down who keeps muttering "stupid fucking bitch." Sometimes he says it loud. He's making me very uncomfortable, but it's a crowded coffee shop so I guess I'll be okay. There aren't any other tables to switch to and I can't really go anywhere. Maybe a bagel would help.....

*SOME TIME LATER*

Ahhh, bagels. Is there anything they can't do? The dude totally shut up!

Hubs and I were talking earlier about my quest to write something every day and he said I had to be really careful because "you could end up writing something really really dumb." And I said "yeah, but half of the shit I write is really really dumb, how would it be different?" And he said "but when you're dumb, at least you're clever-dumb."

I like that. Clever-dumb. I'm totally adopting that.

I've been thinking lately about humility, and how it's a trait that is so lacking in people these days, and I was wondering why that was. Lack of humility, lack of awareness of other people; selfishness, in general. It's so prevalent, on the internet especially, but really everywhere, and I was thinking about how it is my mission in life to make sure my kids don't grow up that way. It is my job as a parent to make sure both of my kids are aware that other people have feelings and that not everything is about them. They need to be taught these things because if I let them have their way all the time they will grow up to be adults with no respect for others, and this annoying sense of self-righteous privilege that I simply cannot stand. Child 1 in particular needs to be aware that despite his disability, there are still rules, and he still must follow them. The world does not revolve around him because he is autistic and I think raising him to believe this will create an adult who would use his disability as an excuse for bad behavior. Something like "I get to say whatever I want to anybody I want, because I'm autistic, and correcting me means to marginalize me." This is simply unacceptable to me. Autistic or not, he lives in a world with other people and by sharing the world with others it is crucial that he be a respectful person, with humility, and empathy for others.

I raise them both this way, obviously with different methods that works for them as individuals. Child 2 is a different story, of course, and sometimes I really question if I'm doing a good job or not. It's easy to brush it off as "oh, he's just 7" but I believe he needs to be instilled with these values now, or he never will be. But..... he can be a rude little shit sometimes and I question if I'm doing anything right at all.

Today we were in Costco, however, and you know how they have all those free samples there. At every table he would insist that we stop to see what they had. And every time he would wait his turn, he would get up to the table and say to the person behind it "excuse me?" and wait for a response. He would then say politely "can I have these chips?" or whatever, and then he would wait for a response before taking them. Then he would say "thank you."

I was really fucking proud of him. Really. Fucking. Proud; and I told him so, of course. What a good and nice little person I've got here. I am so proud of that. He's just a little shit to me and his father, you know... at home. That's so good to know, actually, that out in the world he's awesome and he just lets his guard down at home. I can accept that, I really can.

So... what do you think? Clever-dumb? Or just dumb?

---