It's been a rough fucking week. (Only one more day!) My work has gotten really busy lately (for those of you just joining us, I'm a freelance Bookkeeper) which is good $$-wise but I'm not used to having this much to do every day of the week. I really think that working part time and taking care of kids the rest of the time is so much harder than either working full time or taking care of kids full time. Figures I would pick the most difficult of the 3 options, but here we are. Why is it so hard, in my opinion? Because I never get a break. From the minute I wake up in the morning I'm constantly on the move. I get the kids off to school, then I go to work, then I leave work and go pick them up, then we all go home. Hubs has been working late pretty much every day, because his job sucks hairy balls so, basically I'm "on" from 7:30am until 10:00pm. Which is fine, I like both of my "jobs," but some weeks are just harder than others.
This week, for example. Child 2 is going through some sort of something, I don't know what. He alternates between being happy and running around wanting to play (which always seems to involve hitting a cat with something for some reason), or cranky and crying, for no particular reason other than because of whatever he perceives as a wrongdoing against him. Both options require a good deal of my time, energy and attention because he doesn't want to do any of it by himself. I must share every moment of his happiness or his pain and it's been a challenge, to say the least. My mood has not been good, which makes me impatient and snappy, which makes him impatient and snappy, which makes his emotions even more volatile, which makes everything worse. Honestly, I would rather be working, because I work with numbers and numbers don't ask questions or complain or whine about every fucking thing. ("Why do you have to multiply me by 9.75% every day?" "The cell next to me has more numbers than I do!" "Don't go to the next worksheet, you have to stay here on my worksheet until I say you can leave.") Today I was able to at least go for a walk, because work ended earlier than I was expecting it to, so I'm feeling a little bit better; better than yesterday, anyway.
To make things worse, though, all week I've been feeling like I'm on the verge of getting sick, as if any minute now my body is going to tell me "Hold it right there, sister. It's time for YOU to lie the fuck down!" I don't have time to get sick right now! FUCK! But I also don't have time to take care of myself so that I don't get sick. FUCK! I seriously don't know how single parents do it all the time. What do you do when you get sick? "The whole operation falls apart," says my friend Kat, (I copied that from a past FB status update of hers). I have immense respect for anybody who can parent by themselves because that shit is HARD. So, I award the trophy that's up there to all of my single parent friends, in particular Kat, who is not only smoking hot (single guys: email me! I'll tell you all about her) but who also has a kid on spectrum and somehow managed to go back to school and get a degree. How the fuck did she do that??
But, how am I managing to find the time to blog, you ask? I suggested to Child 2 that he should play a nice game on his computer. He was happy to oblige. When that stops working I'll move on to chocolate. I'm pretty sure this gets me the Parent of the Year award, right?