It's such a cliche, the tired mom thing. We never get enough sleep, we're always on the move, the kids wake us up wanting stupid things like water and blankets and love; I feel silly sometimes, complaining about how tired I am, but MAN am I tired. I remember when I was pregnant with Child 1, I read the book Operating Instructions, and it started this three month long panic attack about how tired I was going to be and what a nightmare that would be, because I'm one of those people who need a lot of sleep, and I used to get it, before the children, and the image of this exhausted new mom in this book just completely put me over the edge.
So, how it works here is that we all go to bed in our own beds, and then during the night Child 1 will come in and climb into bed with us. But I can't sleep when he's there, so then I get up and go into his bed. This doesn't sound really all that bad, because I always go right back to sleep, except he always 1. LANDS really hard on the back of my legs or something thus jolting me awake in a total fucking panic and 2. always seems to come in the middle of a deep REM cycle, which is the worst time you could get woken up. This has been happening every night for 5 1/2 years now.
In the beginning, I was a total sleep nazi and he was the best sleeper EVER. He slept through the night at 3 weeks old, he was that good a sleeper. And I wish so much that I could play the autism card here, because kids with autism are notoriously bad sleepers, and even though I sometimes do when I explain this to people, the real problem here is bad parenting. Yeah, I pretty much did this to myself. So, he was the greatest sleeper ever, and my fears about being like whatsherface in the book never actually happened ... until we moved him out of the crib and into the big bed, when he was 3 and I was pregnant with Child 2. I was already not getting enough sleep, being ginormously pregnant, but once he got into the big bed, and realized he didn't actually have to stay in his bed if he didn't want to, is when he started coming into the room with us. At this point is where I should have taken control of the situation and trained him to go back into his room, but... no. I fucked that up, I guess, because now he's conditioned to climb out of his bed and come into ours the minute he first stirs. And I have no idea how to make this better, except just wait until he's older and doesn't want to come in anymore. I figure I only have about another 1 1/2 years, maybe 2, right? I mean, I've "lasted" this long, what's another couple of years....
6 comments:
I used to do this a lot to my folks when I was a kid until they started locking their bedroom door to keep me out. Save for that one night I actually slept in the hallway, I think I did alright.
When did you stop?
This sounds so much like me it's scary. I'm the biggest baby in the world about my sleep, so was a total nazi about it like you. And like you, my ASD kid didn't have the sleep issues. Same exact thing happened to me when she moved from crib to bed (which I put off for a loooong time)...she realized she could roam freely. I finally bit the bullet just a week or so ago and realized that I had to deal wSith the issue when her teacher said that she can't keep her eyes open in class. Cuz she's not sleeping great either...just wants to crawl back up my va-jay-jay.
So I did the full monty with our ABA consultant...social story, videos of her asleep in her own bed, giganto reinforcer in the morning if she stays in her bed, etc. We were getting there and then she got a monster head cold and wanted to crawl up my hoo-hah again. Now I'm trying to get back on track...I'm going to crack this if it kills me. NEED SLEEP.
Wow, you went all ABA on her ass! I'm pretty sure we tried the social story a few years ago, the problem isn't him, though, it's us. It's REALLY hard to be strict and consistent at 3:00am and much easier to just lie there and take it. And, really, you get used to it after a while.... *sob*
This is my problem with Racer and I can soooo play the autism card here lol cuz he's never been a good sleeper.
I remember he used to climb out of the crib and fall smack on the floor, there wud be a bit of silence then I'd here the footsteps and he'd be in bed with us. I'd then take him back but he'd do it over and over and over again. Finally I got tired of him falling on the floor and I put him in one of those playpen things which he wud rock back and forth till it fell over.
Cut to 2yrs later and I'm still not getting sleep and now my body has gotten use to 5hr sleep min.
First of all, you were pregnant and who really has the energy for a struggle, right? The only thing I can think of is what my daughter did. Put a mattress from a single bed on the floor by your bed. And bring all his special little nighttime things in there whether it be a pillow or blanket or stuffed animal. He should be ok because he is right by you.
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