xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#' Yeah. Good Times.: Big Daddy is in the house!

Monday, November 29, 2010

Big Daddy is in the house!

I am thrilled to have Big Daddy Autism guest blogging for me today. Have you been to his blog? If not, you should go there, because it now has 87% more humor. EIGHTY SEVEN PERCENT!! That is so much more humor, I just don't see how you can pass that up.

For those of you who don't know me, I blog about life with my 13 year old autistic son. When Jill told me I would be guest posting, I was honored. If by "honored" you mean "terrified". Jill scares me, so I knew I had to come up with something brilliant. We flitted around the idea of me swearing a lot, insulting some of her nicest family members, or going the "Lynn Route" and pissing off large groups of people all at once. Instead, I decided to post about the events of last Wednesday.

Wilford, Me and The Burger King

They say there are no coincidences in life so I guess I shouldn't be shocked that Griffin has formed a bond with Wilford Brimley, he of diabetes supplies fame. Big Daddy has had diabetes for about 15 years now. In reality, I don't have diabetes so much as diabetes has me. I was first diagnosed when I was in my early thirties. Recently, more often than not, diabetes has kicked my ass.

Due to my condition, I see my Endocrinologist fairly regularly. The day before Thanksgiving was no different. The girls - Lil Sis, Mrs. Big Daddy and Big Nana - had plans for a girls only outing so I had to take Griffin with me to my appointment.

My Endocrinologist appointments are no big deal. He is usually on time and the entire, five minute, appointment can be summed as follows:

1. Weighs me.
2. Frowns.
3. Takes Blood Pressure.
4. Frowns
5. Tells me I am fat.
6. Writes my prescriptions.

So bringing Griffin shouldn't have been a hassle. Just to make sure, I promised him Burger King for lunch after the appointment conditioned upon the following:

1. No loud laughing.
2. He does not mention to the Endocrinologist that we would be going to Burger King.

As we entered the waiting room, Griffin was busy confirming which Burger King we would be visiting and what his order was going to be. When I reminded him of the deal, he reminded me that he did not, technically, tell it to the doctor. Hmm. At this point, I thought I had a chance of sliding through the appointment without the doctor hearing of my lunch plans.

No such luck. Griff lasted all of about 30 seconds until the cork blew out and a hot steaming river of Burger King conversation starting flowing down the side of the mountain. By the end of the appointment, my Endocrinologist knew which Burger King we were going to, what Griffin was having, and the details of our plan to keep this information from him.

The two Whoppers I later scarfed down did nothing to console me.


Marlowe said...

Big Daddy- you are my hero! (you too Jilly) We have the same conversations when we visit the DAN! doctor...H is OBSESSED!

Lynn said...

Our kids have the biggest fucking mouths. Audrey has recently started saying this in front of my husband, "I'm going to have ice cream at Noni's house but I can't say it in front of Dad because it's a secret!"

Laura said...

Coleman and Julia are no different. My favorite story is when we were waiting for EVAH for the gastroenterologist to see Julia. When the doctor arrived, my wonderfully mouthy 5 year old Coleman said, "Well FINALLY"! Ahhhhh. Good times. :-)

Ashley said...

I totally forfeited my Burger King by breaking rule #1. Several times.

That same mouthiness almost got us in trouble over Thanksgiving break. During a visit to my slightly backwoods hometown, Caleb loudly informed some Bubba (no really, I think his name is Bubba) just back from a huntin' trip that the man needed to wash his truck because it was "really very dirty." Good thing he didn't see the dead deer in the back. Which is a small miracle because usually they ride them around town on the front of the truck.

Looking forward to reading about Jill's good times!

Happy13 said...

Griffin is AWESOME. Xander tends to have filter issues as well AND says everything w/his outside voice. The real troublemaker is Spencer, my NT kid. I learned very early not to pass gas or make any sounds that are in anyway flatulent sounding anywhere near him as he will yell, "Mommy, you farted. HAHAHAHAHAHA. You forgot to say, 'excuse me'."

Next time you need to piss off large groups of people by cursing and insulting them and their family members. That way you'd kill two birds with one stone.

Unknown said...

I guess there are some benefits to having a non-verbal son. Unfortunately, my 19 month old is a little blabber-mouth.

Caryn said...

That's awesome! I am SO GLAD I am not the only one that has situations like this happen. LOL The only down side being that I have SEVEN mosntrous little people that have no qualms about throwing me under the bus every time they get a chance. Be grateful. ;)

Cheryl D. said...

HAHAHAHA! I guess Griffin will never get a job that requires a security clearance. At least I hope not! That's too funny!

Jean said...

This is hilarious! My son's emerging speech is already getting him in trouble at school, as he's taking great pleasure at saying "Damn!!".
The only shocking thing is that he's not using more colourful terms...I'm sure they're in the post though!

Aimee said...

I have to take my NV 10 year old to the Endocrinologist every 6 mos. I've always had the feeling this doc thought I was a slacker. (I am) Didn't really put it together til after I read your post. The whole time we are at the doc, I'm bribing her with McDonalds out loud. Just hoping she won't bolt before the blood draw.
BTW, Hope you are all happy with yourselves.(Lynn, BigDaddy, etc.) Have to start reading Jillsmo's blog now too. Soon I will get fired, my children will not get to their appointments and no one will get fed, changed or yelled at.(actually I can still yell while doing just about anything.)Stop being so halarious! your killing me!

Big Daddy Autism said...

As I read the comments, I have a hard time remembering that Griffin was non-verbal for so long. Our neurologist and some therapists had starting talking in terms of "if" he'll speak rather than "when" he'll speak. Now, there are days when it is non-stop from dusk to dawn. Literally. Exhausting.

Autism Mom Rising said...

Too funny!

Dani G said...

Every so often I think, "fuck those fucking speech therapists that taught the bird to talk!!"

TMWHickman said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I'll bet your Endocrinologist loves you!!

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