|Awwwww..... look at that.... sleeping so peacefully.... in my bed..... AT 8:15 THIS MORNING. WAKE THE FUCK UP YOU LAZY KIDS!!!|
Oh my god I think I'm dying, but I feel obligated to write something, even though I'm not even sure if anybody even cares about my adventures in Singleparenthood. (What you people don't realize is that I require constant validation to keep this thing going. By the way, you should be impressed that I had the energy to make those words italics; it was an enormous effort.) I think I actually reached Nirvana a minute ago when Child 1 agreed to play Twister with Child 2 so that I wouldn't have to. Is it shiny, Nirvana? Because what I saw was shiny.
Child 2 and I have started squabbling like some old married couple. Does he have to ask so many questions all the time? Why does he have to be so much like me?? (My mom would be laughing her ass off at me if she were able to figure out how to get here and read this without me posting it on Facebook.) Luckily I was able to pawn him off on his friend H for 3 hours this afternoon and I was able to actually have an adult conversation with H's Mom that didn't involve bookkeeping. Or did it? I honestly don't remember. I do remember getting shot with a nerf gun, though. Maybe there was some long term damage.
I know this is making no sense, but it's good because I'm making good on my promise of incoherent ramblings. Also I'm really tired. Did I mention that yet? I didn't change the clock in the room I'm in right now so I keep thinking it's an hour later than it really is, which would mean bedtime for all of us, which makes me very happy until I realize that I forgot to change the clock in this room and bedtime isn't for another hour. And that makes me sad.
I have a new client tomorrow, I hope I'm able to form sentences, or at least mash my fist into the adding machine a couple of times and pretend that I know how to reconcile a bank account.
Okay, so... tune in tomorrow, when... something something.... *trail off* ......