I quit the PTA

So, I have a problem (don't laugh, I haven't gotten to my point yet!!) I'm not so much a "control freak," per se, it's just that I do things better than other people (that's all I'm sayin). I don't necessarily have to do everything, I just know that if I don't, it either won't get done or it will be crappy.

What?

Okay, let me back up a little.

There is a very common attitude among people who don't have kids with special needs, that SPED kids "steal resources" away from the normies. As such, when we first entered public school, I was afraid that people would judge either me, or my child, because he was in SPED. (I've written about this before, and I'm not going to rant about it now.)

When Child 1 was in preschool, the school district shelled out a shitload of money for his home program; 15 hours/week, non stop, for 2 years. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that if it weren't for that home program, he would not be as high functioning as he is today. So in addition to being afraid, I also wanted to pay back; to the district, for spending so much money on my kid. I had a goal: to personally raise $X (I won't say) in my entire time (16 years, including Child 2) in public school. Nobody could say MY kid stole resources when I'm doing all that fundraising, right??

I went to my first PTA meeting when Child 1 was still in preschool.  I had a friend with a kid C1's age who also got into the school, and together we went. She ended up getting involved before I did; I kept sending emails to the PTA folks and nobody would answer me and I guess they answered her? I figured that meant they already hated me but, no, what it actually meant was that they were too disorganized to figure out how to tell me what kind of help they needed. But then my friend says "I've been trying to work with these guys but it's been hard because they're so flaky." Well, it just so happened that this is what I do for a living, at least at the time: I fix disorganized organizations. I won't bore you with the details. So I said, "I know how to fix this place! Let me show you....."

So, that's what I did. I just walked up to one of the co-presidents at a meeting and I said "You have an opening, put me on your Executive Board." And he was like "Uh. Okay. Who are you? Yeah, whatever." He didn't really care. So, I came in with all kinds of energy and drive and I did what I said I would do, I made them organized. Agan, I won't bore you with the details, but let's just say it's a good thing the IRS never paid them a visit.

Unfortunately, what happened after a while is that I started volunteering for everything... and therefore doing everything. At one point I think I was in charge of every committee that existed, I don't even know; it's kind of a blur. People were always saying to me "I don't know HOW you do it!" I would always answer "I don't." It was fucking insane. On the plus side, though, we raised about $120,000 last year. I can't take credit for all of that, of course, but I think that's more than any other elementary school in our district.

One day when C1 was in 1st grade, I brought him to school in the morning and discovered that he had a field trip that day, but I had forgotten about it and therefore had forgotten to make him a lunch. It wasn't a big deal, there was extra food and he would get fed, but still.... I was so wrapped up in my PTA duties that I forgot to make my child a fucking lunch. It was time to get my priorities in order.

So, I started quitting stuff.  I gave away everything that wasn't absolutely crucial.  But then, as the year went on, it turned out that the stuff I gave away either wasn't getting done or it was getting done badly. What did I tell you??? I was obviously needed. So, I picked things up again. Ugh. Seriously? Yeah. By this point, though, I no longer cared about paying back or proving myself and my child worthy. I'm pretty sure I took care of that part halfway through my first year there. Now I just had to make sure things got done, and got done right. Not because I'm a control freak. I said NOT.

Unfortunately, by the end of C1's 2nd grade, I was really burned out. SO tired of the PTA. When the prez-elect asked me to be on the board again for the next year (that would be this year) I said ok, as long as I didn't have to go to any meetings, because I'm sick to fucking death of meetings. She said "we all just do what we can!" I don't know how she still has such a good attitude, she's been there longer than I have.

Okay, so now it's this year, and I think I've been to one meeting. I'm the Vice President of Fundraising, which means I get all kind of emails saying "HEY! I HAVE THIS GREAT IDEA FOR A FUNDRAISER! YOU SHOULD TOTALLY DO THIS." And I just don't give a shit. I really, really don't care. Plus, my work has gotten really busy, and hubs works really late every night, so I don't have the time during the day and no childcare at night. Anyway, my disinterest in the whole thing causes me to just forget the PTA exists, so I'll get an occasional email and say "OH YEAH! I remember the PTA!" and then feel slightly guilty for not having done shit this year.

So, I emailed the prez and I said "I don't think this is working out, what do you want to do?" And she said maybe they should try to find somebody who actually cared about fundraising to, you know, be the VP of Fundraising? She was concerned about hurting my feelings. Isn't she the sweetest? I was like "fuck my feelings, I just don't want the responsibility anymore!" So, this past weekend I emailed the Exec Board and said I was stepping down. I don't even care anymore if things don't get done or if they get done crappily. If the place falls apart, it's their fault for relying on me in the first place. That's some pretty serious burnout, right there.

But, hey, more time for blogging now, right?

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