Yeah. Good Times.: Autism, literally

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Autism, literally

There's nothing like living with an autistic child to make you keenly aware that a good deal of your speech is made up of expressions and colloquialisms that make no sense when you analyze them literally.

For those of you unaware, people with autism can be very literal with their use of language and can have trouble understanding these kinds of informal uses of language (examples below).

For those of you unaware, and really if you've been paying attention, none of you should be unaware... I have a tendency to talk first and think second. These things just come out of my mouth before I give myself a chance to think about whether or not Child 1 is going to know what the hell I'm talking about or not. As a result I find myself having to do a lot of explaining, which would be totally unnecessary if only I could pay attention to myself. It's kind of annoying.

Me: Don't worry, dude, I've got your back
Child 1: What are you going to do to my back?

Me: Okay, guys, let's hit it!
Child 1: Hit what? Are you going to hit me?

Me: I'm afraid so.
Child 1: What are you afraid of?

Me: I beg to differ
Child 1 makes this face:

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fourmonkeys4me 4p · 675 weeks ago

It's SO true! They really take everything SO literally! We frequently have this issue here too! Not because I speak before I think (though I do that too, lol) But he likes to listen to all the conversations around him too, and he'll catch me talking with DH or with one of the other kids!
My recent post You want a retraction, you say?

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blogginglily 73p · 675 weeks ago

Not that Emma is on the spectrum, but I once told her "The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you, Emma" and her response was to dissolve into tears and sob, "Why do you want to hurt me?" The explanation for this lasted WAY longer than it should have.
My recent post Just a Lil Walk

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Patty · 675 weeks ago

We have these types of conversations every day. When I call my toddler (who isn't on the spectrum, that we know of--but I do have my concerns) that he's a cutie pie or sweetheart, he screams, "I'm NOT a cutie pie! I'm a Tommy!"

And my kid on the spectrum? Oh, so many issues, though he is learning the fine art of joking. Our biggest problem is our sarcasm, though. It goes way over his head and sometimes causes major confusion, like when I say, "Sure, yeah, throw the wrapper on the floor. I'd LOVE to clean up after you" he's all like, "Okay, cool."
My recent post Bittersweet

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Sarah · 675 weeks ago

My child is not on the spectrum, but even at the age of nine, tends to look at me when I've said something he has no reference for and states, "No idea what you're talking about, AGAIN, but you don't have your angry voice, so I'm fine with that."
My recent post Compared to Love, I’m Feeling Pretty Good Right Now

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Mayor Gia · 675 weeks ago

Hahaha I beg to differ is a tough one. An acquaintance has a child who had lead poisoning, and also takes things very literally. When she goes "that money is burning a hole in my pocket," he's like "ARE YOU OKAY??!?"
My recent post Things that Make Boyfriend Angry: a Dinner Adventure

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Mom2MissK 74p · 675 weeks ago

Haha! Now that Little Miss's language is starting to take off, I'm afraid we're going to be seeing this more and more. And my husband and I are probably two of the most sarcastic people on the planet..... yeah.. this is gonna be fun.
My recent post The School

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Jaime · 675 weeks ago

I also feel bad for ESL people... English sucks.

1 reply · active 675 weeks ago

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jillsmo 103p · 675 weeks ago

It really does

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smili76 42p · 675 weeks ago

I've gotten the same look from my son. He is all, WTF, woman!?!

I once made the mistake of saying something about not getting his undies in a bunch. Tate pulled down his pants to prove his underwear were just fine. :)
Gotta love their literal nature....

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profmomesq 50p · 675 weeks ago

I highly recommend avoiding the phrase, "Step on it." Especially if you don't have shoes on, and your kid does.

1 reply · active 675 weeks ago

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jillsmo 103p · 675 weeks ago

Good tip!!

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ShesAlwaysWrite · 675 weeks ago

Bear also has language processing issues, and I recently got so frustrated waiting for him to finish a sentence while I was trying not to burn dinner I said "just spit it out!" He looked baffled, then said "but Mommy, I don't have any food in my mouth."
The husband and I also have a sarcasm problem I'm sure will bite us in the ass with Mr. Literal one of these days.

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Claire · 675 weeks ago

I know what you mean. My son is bilingual so whenever he doesn't understand what I'm saying he just says, "Ya!" Spanish for enough or alright. However, he's catching on to sarcasm because whenever he wants to make me laugh he repeats something he's heard me say and laughs immediately as I would have if making a sarcastic remark to someone. I have mental exhaustion these days.
My recent post Those Awful Scars

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solodialogue 73p · 675 weeks ago

We have problems with words that have two meanings. I know what you mean but why are you being mean? How can you mean being mean...
My recent post Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

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Mama Meerkat · 675 weeks ago

Hahaha, mine does that too. She also corrects me all the time if I say the wrong thing. I got a lecture for calling her sandals shoes.
My recent post Special Needs Spidey Sense

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Andrea · 675 weeks ago

I am going to go it on a limb and assume theree is sarcasm coming it of your mouth from time to time that also confounds!
My recent post O is for Odd bits of Random

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stinkerbabies 45p · 675 weeks ago

Oh that's been the source of some drama. Let me just say that a sign of unconditional love is giving up your sarcasm so your child isn't totally crushed when there is not ACTUALLY a piece of cake when he nails his math homework. Although. Now that I think of it. I'm usually disappointed, too, when there's no cake. There should definitely be cake when you do good work. Or make good efforts. Or show up.
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Donna L. · 675 weeks ago

You should have seen the look on my daughter's face when I once asked her why she had ants in her pants!

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HFLifeMom · 675 weeks ago

So funny about our kids! And we always forget. When I told my son let's give daddy a hand for winning at Sorry, he literally gave my husband his hand and said "here daddy, what do you want to do with it." Two years from now, he will be in an upset mood and remind us that we confused him while we were playing Sorry by having him give Daddy his hand. I wonder if being literal and having an excellent memory go hand in hand with ASD kids.
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Mental Mosaic · 675 weeks ago

Cute story! I have an autistic relative and have to be careful what I say - especially when he was younger.

I've misunderstood sayings like that, myself, when living in other countries. Once, in Belgium, a co-worker said, "I'd better go shopping soon, I've got dead mice in my kitchen."

Naturally, I thought she had a rodent infestation, so I made some comment along those lines - to which the rest of my office mates burst out laughing...

Turns out that, "having dead mice in the kitchen," is a Belgian saying for when you're cupboards are so bare that even the mice can't find anything to eat.

Anyway, I enjoyed seeing you at #commenthour last week. Hope to see you there again!

~Tui, from #commenthour
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MFA Mama · 675 weeks ago

Yep. My oldest, who has Asperger's, is Mr. Literal as well. One of my favorite stories about him (that also illustrates it nicely) is this:

When the kid was five and a half, I had a really bad GI bug that resulted in dangerously low BP causing me to pass out every time I tried to stand up (this was especially bad since I was home alone with my children). I had to call 911 and they dispatched EMS to come and help. The operator asked me if the door was locked, and I said yes but the five-year-old could open it. She suggested that I let him know beforehand so he wouldn't be scared, and I called him over. We'd discussed 911 before and how it called "the helpers," so I said "okay since I keep falling down I had to call 911. An ambulance is going to come and I need you to open the door for the helpers when they get here, okay?" He said okay, and then I heard truck-noises and heavy footsteps out front. "There they are, go open the door!" I told the child, and he went to the door but I didn't hear it open, just lots of knocking and the sound of voices talking on radios. "Open the door, buddy!" I yelled. "Ummmmm Mommy..." said the child. I heard the voices saying "the kid's just standing there, get me the axe." My ex-husband would have killed me if I caused our front door to get chopped down with my inconvenient illness, and I got worried. "OPEN THE DOOR, BUDDY, HURRY UP SO THEY DON'T HAVE TO BREAK IT," I yelled. "But Mommy," the child finally said, "you said to open the door for the ambulance people. That's not an ambulance outside, it's a firetruck!"

*facepalm*

(the door did not get chopped down, I quickly explained that firemen are helpers, too, and the kid let them in)
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Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Autism, literally

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