Yeah. Good Times.: OH MY GOD GO TO SLEEP

Monday, April 2, 2012

OH MY GOD GO TO SLEEP

It's past 11:00pm and Child 2 is still very much awake, and running around.

Occasionally I can see him out of the corner of my eye running from his brother's room and back to his own. I yell at him but he laughs at me.

Earlier he yelled "Mama! I figured out how to bring my hamper into my bed using only a plastic sword!" And then he explained the process to me in excruciating detail.

Just now he informed me: "Mama. I gotta say, I need more love from you. We should spent more time together."

He has promised to stay in his bed, but he claims that he is allowed to get up under the following conditions:

To pee
To poop
To get a drink of water
If the room is on fire
If he's being attacked by a bear
If there's a monster
If a bird is trying to rip his eyeballs out of their sockets

The other night he went into Child 1's backpack, took out all of his reading books... and then read them.

Now I can hear him whistling. Badly.

sigh

Comments (28)

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@Patrixmyth · 677 weeks ago

I don't know. I think the bird clause makes sense. Seems reasonable to me.

1 reply · active 677 weeks ago

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jillsmo 103p · 677 weeks ago

I would be willing to bend the rules just a little bit, I guess

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confessionsfromhh6 43p · 677 weeks ago

We have a rule here - just because you're awake doesn't mean you can keep the entire house awake.
My recent post April 1, 2012

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cheerioconfessions 55p · 677 weeks ago

I gotta say the fire clause makes the most sense to me. But all joking aside, we've been here *so very many PAINFUL times* with Gavin that I've lost count. Gavin sees things and has a "work schedule" occasionally. Elliott Richard does this sometimes but as long as his little Netflix thingie is working and his DS is charged, he'll stay in bed. But I think Elliott Richard may have gotten ahold of the same conditions list as your son because we hear those "reasons" from him a lot too. Gavin doesn't bring attention to being out of his room. He just sneaks around. I think the sneaking is worse.
My recent post Alphabet Challenge: Letter B: Brothers

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Elizabeth · 677 weeks ago

My son's latest thing is being afraid to go to sleep (he's 8.5). He cries and gets stomach aches. But he doesn't even dream so he has no explanation for the fear :(

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Mayor Gia · 677 weeks ago

Hahaha...I wonder how the bird fear came about..
My recent post Totally Rational Fears about Boyfriend’s Trip

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Kim · 677 weeks ago

Does he get to sleep in on the weekends?

I'd have him up at the crack of school wake up time, every day. And then give him chores to wear his ass out.

I'm one of the mean moms.
My recent post This Ain't No KMart Blue Light Special

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thissideoftypical 57p · 677 weeks ago

are there bears in Berkeley?

My recent post Today’s post is brought to you by the letter A

1 reply · active 677 weeks ago

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jillsmo 103p · 677 weeks ago

Cal Bears?

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Jim Reeve · 677 weeks ago

My son was up to midnight last night too. Maybe it's because it's world autism awareness day and your son just wanted you to be aware of his autism. As if we're not awrae of our kid's autism anyway.

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Lizbeth · 677 weeks ago

I'd like to say it was a full moon but I know it wasn't because I too was up till all hours of the night. Stomachache, headache, had to pee, eat, feed the bird---we don't even have a bird and the need to run....all past bedtime. And the one day he slept in was today, a school day, so today started off as a cluster. I don't understand it. At all.
My recent post This falls under the category of: I couldn't make it up if I tried.

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Chunky Mama · 677 weeks ago

My youngest boy is 2, and he is always the last one to go to sleep. I spot him sneaking between my room & the kids' room at least a dozen times every night & he's usually still awake 1.5hrs after being put to bed. He's also always the first person to wake up in the morning & it makes his dad & me NUTS.

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Sarah · 677 weeks ago

My child #2 used to do this as well. Then he found the beauty of sleeping in. It's a magical moment when they realize what you've been trying to teaching for the past eight years: sleep is wonderful.
My recent post Weekend Wrap-Up: The Spring Break Edition

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Rards · 677 weeks ago

I'm more than a little curious whether actual contrails appear in TYGER's wake, or whether that's just artistic license. For now, I'm going to go with the former, since that seems scientifically plausible to me...especially when you have to pee.

1 reply · active 677 weeks ago

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jillsmo 103p · 677 weeks ago

Nobody knows who Tyger is, you know. I mean... I know who Tyger is, but I've been here the whole time.

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marjhatzell 51p · 677 weeks ago

DOH!

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Becky · 677 weeks ago

Oh, I feel your pain. I've got alcohol with your name on it along with some sympathetic company over here.
My recent post I Wish I had Some Funny Anecdote, But I Don't.

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andrea · 677 weeks ago

Did you promptly deliver more love to him? I hope you can get rid of those blue streaks he left behind!
My recent post B is for Blogkeeping

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Alexandra Tsaritsa · 677 weeks ago

You never know when a bear will suddenly attack you in your bedroom. Especially in the east bay. Bear country. Gotta be careful!!
My recent post Water for food for thought-- sip on this

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princessofthejellyfish 6p · 677 weeks ago

GIANT OF THE SPIDER RACE is also a good reason to be allowed out of bed.
Those fucking things try to eat you.

My recent post THERE IS A SPIDER TRYING TO EAT ME. YOU WOULD BE SCARED TOO. IT’S GIANT.

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solodialogue 73p · 677 weeks ago

It's good to know I'm not alone in this. My kid will not go the *(&% to sleep no matter what day of the week it is. I like Child 2's reasons. Because we all know there is always a monster around the corner or in the window, closet, under the bed or in the attic. I'd wonder about that last one - have you been watching some Hitchcock around the house? And reading, Child 1's books? THAT is just awesome and definitely worth letting him stay up!

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Laural Out Loud · 677 weeks ago

I've tried to make bedtime earlier and earlier, but it only give my crazy 7-year-old daughter more time to NOT GO TO BED. So we went back to the regular bedtime and now I only have to deal with her for two hours every night. Also, I have to put the 2-year-old to bed first, or he can't sleep due to her antics. THANK GOD she's into reading now- I might install a reading lamp in her bed so that she can harass books instead of me.
My recent post Strep A, I Wish I Could Cut You

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Julie · 677 weeks ago

It is really hard to handle, my son used to wake up in the middle of the night, and he just screamed that he needs to go to pee. He had waken up always the whole family. Fortunately, it's already over.
My recent post tooth crowns

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Sarcasm Goddess · 677 weeks ago

Hmmm...I can understand your frustration. But to be fair, those are all perfectly reasonable excuses for getting out of bed. Surely you would not have him battle a monster!
My recent post Conversations With The Husband.

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sortedmegablocks 24p · 677 weeks ago

that's a new one. Instead of asking my kids "why are you up" I'll start asking.... "is a bird trying to rip your eyeballs out of their sockets? because THAT's a reasonable reason to be out of bed."
My recent post Teaching Independence

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kirstenpiccini 55p · 677 weeks ago

ummm, is Gio living with you?? Because this sounds exactly like my child, up at 11pm and ruling our house. ;)

I keep going between wanting them to stay this little to wanting them to be "BOYS WHO NEVER GET ENOUGH SLEEP"

thanks for the giggle and empathy (even without knowing) hope he goes to bed for you soon. I could use some of those vibes myself.