We've created a monster

On Saturday I had to go pick up my car, which was in the shop because I regularly break pieces of it off. This time I had been getting gas and I put the gas tube-thingy in the gas hole-thingy (that's what she said) and I distinctly heard the sound of plastic snapping (that is NOT what she said). The next day I was unable to open the side door (it's a minivan) because I had broken off a sensor which tells the side door that the gas door is open, and both the gas door thingy and the van side door thingy wouldn't open.

I swear there's a point to this; really there is.

So, I had taken my car to the shop on Friday and they had to keep it overnight, and then on Saturday it was ready. Except I didn't feel like walking to go get it because I was hungover lazy tired really really busy that morning, so hubs said he would drive me.... and that we should leave the kids at home by themselves.

I was freaked out, as you can imagine; they've never been home alone before. But we were only going to be gone for 10 minutes, tops, they were both hanging around in their pajamas being lazy kids, and they were totally fine with it; actually they didn't seem to give much of a shit about the whole thing. Anyway, Child 1 is 10 and pretty responsible, all things considered, and you can leave 10 year olds alone in the house, right? (Do me a favor and just give me a heads up before you call CFS, would you? THANKS.)

So, we went through a huge list of do's and don'ts and rules and laws and all that good stuff (you don't open the front door for any reason; if the house caught on fire, go out the back door and go to the neighbor's house; if there was a bear attack, play dead; don't open the front door for any reason; etc.), and I showed Child 2 how to call me on my cell phone, in case of emergency (Child 1 already knows how to call Hubs); we practiced a few times and he had it down.

I swear there's a point to this; really there is.

So, we left and were only gone for about 10 minutes, and all was well in that time. Except? Now Child 2 knows how to call me on my cell phone. And call he does. (Yes. That was my point. See how important all that back story is? It not only makes the pointless story even more pointless, it adds another layer of inanity that you wouldn't have normally known of. YOU'RE WELCOME.)

He calls when he's downstairs and I'm upstairs to tell me that he's downstairs watching Too Cute.

He calls when he's upstairs and I'm downstairs to tell me that he's upstairs and I'm downstairs.

Saturday night he decided to sleep on the couch in the TV room so he called me from the TV room to tell me that he was sleeping on the couch in the TV room, even though we had just had that discussion face to face a few moments before.

Sunday afternoon I was out running errands and he called me to tell me that he was downstairs, Daddy was in the kitchen making breakfast, and when I got home could I please heat up some of that leftover pizza for him because he would probably be done eating breakfast but would still be hungry by the time I got home?

Later on Sunday afternoon I was out taking a walk and he called to remind me that I hadn't yet made the pizza that he had called me about a few hours before. "Remember how I called you and asked you to make me pizza? You didn't do that yet, so I'm calling to remind you."

He's not very good at talking on the phone, though. There are lots of long pauses and lots of discussion of cats and cat activity; much like when you talk to him in person, actually. He needs a lesson in phone etiquette, definitely.

Oh, I gotta go... somebody's calling me.....

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