So, it's the 4th of July, the fireworks are done and the kids have gone to bed, and suddenly I look and I see this thing lying in the doorway of my TV room, right? And I squeal "OH MY GOD THAT STICK LOOKS LIKE A PENIS..... hee hee hee hee hee!!!!" and I run to find my phone to take a picture, because I knew you guys would want to see this penis stick thing that's lying in my doorway.
Except, while I'm bending over awkwardly taking said picture, behind me Hubs says to my ass "You realize you're a 41 year old woman, right?" So I say "HEY, FUCK YOU!" and then I fucking tackled him from the side, military style, and we rolled around on the floor fighting like they do in Buffy, and eventually I shanked him in the leg with a phillips screwdriver I found underneath the coffee table and then ran off into the night screaming about the wolves that were chasing me.
At some point in the story above I may have slightly strayed from the truth, but the specifics don't really matter, because OMG LOOK! IT'S A STICK THAT LOOKS LIKE A PENIS!!!!!!!