Yeah. Good Times.: Things I Find in my House: What is that... I don't even....

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Things I Find in my House: What is that... I don't even....

So, it's the 4th of July, the fireworks are done and the kids have gone to bed, and suddenly I look and I see this thing lying in the doorway of my TV room, right? And I squeal "OH MY GOD THAT STICK LOOKS LIKE A PENIS..... hee hee hee hee hee!!!!" and I run to find my phone to take a picture, because I knew you guys would want to see this penis stick thing that's lying in my doorway.

Except, while I'm bending over awkwardly taking said picture, behind me Hubs says to my ass "You realize you're a 41 year old woman, right?" So I say "HEY, FUCK YOU!" and then I fucking tackled him from the side, military style, and we rolled around on the floor fighting like they do in Buffy, and eventually I shanked him in the leg with a phillips screwdriver I found underneath the coffee table and then ran off into the night screaming about the wolves that were chasing me.

At some point in the story above I may have slightly strayed from the truth, but the specifics don't really matter, because OMG LOOK! IT'S A STICK THAT LOOKS LIKE A PENIS!!!!!!!

Comments (25)

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@afullmargin · 664 weeks ago

*giggle* I have to giggle because I've done the exact same thing. I once took four angles on a knothole because it looked like a vagina.

Because that's the kind of person I am. *snort*

1 reply · active 664 weeks ago

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jillsmo 103p · 664 weeks ago

Which is why I heart you....

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@me_mumstheword · 664 weeks ago

My first thought was dog poop. But I can see a penis too.

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Suzanne · 664 weeks ago

I think we're twins separated at birth. I once took a picture of a crunchy Cheeto that looked just like your penistick. In fact, maybe your stick and my Cheeto are also twins separated at birth. Tell hubs that one is never too old to take pics of objects disguised as genitalia.

1 reply · active 664 weeks ago

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jillsmo 103p · 664 weeks ago

RIGHT??? This is what I'm saying

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Mom2MissK 74p · 664 weeks ago

This one hits home... I just sent pictures of two fused mini corn dogs to everyone I could think of because they looked so much like testicles. I even got out a hot dog and positioned it to prove my point.

Sigh. I need to get out more.
My recent post Nearly Wordless Wednesday

1 reply · active 664 weeks ago

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jillsmo 103p · 664 weeks ago

Yeah, me too

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blogginglily 73p · 664 weeks ago

Why was there a penis stick in your house? How does that happen?
My recent post In Defense of Parents

1 reply · active 664 weeks ago

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jillsmo 103p · 664 weeks ago

I blame the cats

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annespence221 20p · 664 weeks ago

Oh, I love you and pictures of things that look like penises. I'm 33 going on 13.

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imame · 664 weeks ago

I dunno what kind of men you have been hanging out with....

1 reply · active 664 weeks ago

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jillsmo 103p · 664 weeks ago

Little boys!

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Lizbeth · 664 weeks ago

At first it was cat poop and I thought for sure those damn things would have died a painful death but I guess a twig is much better (for the cats). I did take a picture of a wooden spoon/stick at the Asian store because it totally looked like a wanker.
My recent post You make up my heart.

1 reply · active 664 weeks ago

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confessionsfromhh6 43p · 664 weeks ago

I thought it was cat poop too from how I was looking at my screen. Which, I thought was just as funny because it wasn't my house, and poop stories are usually funny.
My recent post Military Respite Disconnect

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@The_BMG · 664 weeks ago

We once named a tree in our front yard "Virginia" because it had a split in the trunk that looked EXACTLY like a vagina. It was really rather awesome.

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kidfreeliving 23p · 664 weeks ago

If I said it looked like a "jack" would I be dating myself? Do they still sell jacks for kids? Is there "jacks" for XBox?
My recent post Target Turned Me Into a Redneck

1 reply · active 664 weeks ago

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jillsmo 103p · 664 weeks ago

You would be dating yourself, I think, but I understand which means I, too, am dating myself. So, yeah.

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Sanstrousers · 664 weeks ago

I, too, thought it was poop. But, my mind immediately went to kid poop.
My recent post Crazy, But That's How It Goes

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Pish Posh · 664 weeks ago

It also kind of looks like that gesture that surfer Jesus makes when he points his thumb and forefinger
My recent post Sparklers & American Muddin'

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Marianna Annadanna · 664 weeks ago

See, I kinda thought it looked like cat poop. A penis is way better.

Also, this is my most favourite series you do. ADORE.
My recent post Just peachy thanks, how the fuck are you?

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@th_purpl_lady · 664 weeks ago

I was more interested in your manslayer escapade :)
My recent post The Fire Hydrant

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Handflapper · 664 weeks ago

I totally thought you were going to say your husband said, "You realize you're a 41-year-old woman. . . taking a picture of cat shit?" But now I want to know how a penis-shaped stick got in your house, and if whoever brought it into your house realized it was penis-shaped, and if that is why that whoever brought it into the house in the first place.
My recent post So, anybody wanna give me a ride, for like, the rest of my life?

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Jill · 664 weeks ago

Test

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journeysofthezoo 83p · 664 weeks ago

I still think that it's "feces" (replace with word that begins with "s" and ends with "hit") and you're just too old to notice (you are 41).

Great that you got the new phone. Glad to see that your posts are still "messed" (replaced with word that begins with "f" and ends with "ucked up").

Trying to keep things clean around here. Someone has to.

Your loyal Stalker.
My recent post RFF: How I (Almost) Sold my Brother for 25 Cents