Lately my kids have been arguing about everything. Perfectly natural for siblings to do, and usually I stay out of it and let them fight amongst themselves (unless something is about to get broken or somebody is about to get hurt or I'm about to hurt somebody and then I intervene). I have a whole long explanation about why I do this, but that will take me off topic (moreso), so let's just go with "I'm really fucking lazy and don't have the energy to deal with it most of the time." That's believable enough, I figure. But today was Child 1's birthday and I was able to say all day long "Sorry, Child 2, but it's Child 1's birthday and he gets to decide today. When it's your birthday you get to do the same." It really made things easier, because how can you argue with that when you're 5? Child 2 says "Wow, Child 1 sure is bossy today." I said "It's his birthday, it's okay."
Anyway, today I let him have his way with me, and since he's so used to being bossed around by me, he had a BLAST telling me what to do, mostly while I was driving. Here are some examples of the things he said and got away with:
"Drive as close as you can to that car in front of us!"
"STOP for the red light!!" (thanks for that one, dude)
"Turn left. Then left again. Now turn around and go back the other way. Now turn right."
"Don't drive down this street, turn around and go down the one we just passed."
"Can I have a bologna sandwich while I wait for you to make dinner?"
"MAMA! Come into my room and turn the light on for me! Okay, you can go now." (hmmmm. starting to bug me just a little bit, but okay....)
"Come in the mancave while I watch videos. You have to lie down and not speak until I say you can." (this was nearly impossible but I managed it somehow)
It was fun.