xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#' Yeah. Good Times.: Okay, I think this is getting a little out of hand

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Okay, I think this is getting a little out of hand

So, I can be a little obsessive about things. When I set my sights on something, I will not stop thinking about it, and figuring out ways to make it happen, and lying in bed at night not sleeping wondering how it's going. Etc. This can be good if the topic at hand is something like "Getting My Child Into an ABA Program" or "Must Find The Perfect Birthday Gift." This is bad, however, when the topic is something meaningless and inane and has no real importance in the world outside of my own head and ego. Some times it just reaches massive levels of absurdity when I'm forced to stop and actually think rationally about it.

So, first a confession: I am no longer the Mayor of Target. I know. You're shocked and probably disappointed because you so enjoyed living in a world where I was the Mayor of Target, but no. I have voluntarily given up my title because I encountered another person who was, apparently, just better at cheating than I was and I had to let it go. It was the moment when I woke up that one morning to the email notification from Foursquare that I had been ousted as Mayor, and I felt actual outrage at the idea, that I realized it was probably time to let this one go. ACTUAL OUTRAGE. Because I was no longer mayor. Of Target. On foursquare. Seriously? This is what's making me feel outraged? I'm not outraged because the conditions in Haiti are still totally fucked up for the people living there, or that an enormous number of Americans can't afford health insurance and have to opt out of necessary surgeries to keep themselves alive because they can't afford it. No, I guess those things just aren't as important to me as keeping an imaginary, meaningless title that gets me nothing and means nothing to anybody.

It's called perspective, Jill. Get some.

So, I let go of the Target/Mayor dream. I had to, it had reached the levels of absurdity that I mentioned before. You can have it, Jessica H. Whoever you are.

My latest absurd obsession has become my ranking on Top Mommy Blogs. Look, I've dropped to #8. A couple of days ago I was #5. Last night when I logged on to see where I was, which I now do about 10 times a day, and saw that I had gone down again, I had another one of those "WTF are you doing" moments involving perspective. Because, you see, I've been doing things like obsessively checking the "out clicks" in my site stats and actually getting mad when I see people have visited, commented, but not clicked on the link to vote for me. Seriously? Getting mad? Because my friends have visited and left a little comment love but didn't click? That's absurd. I've actually been considering taking my laptop, every day, and driving around town looking for open WiFi networks so that I could vote for myself multiple times.

Once again, I have officially reached that level of absurdity where some perspective has become necessary. And so, I must give up another dream in order to save myself. Even though I was getting a fuck-ton of traffic when I was #5, I've removed the banner from showing up in every post and I'm going to have to just watch as I drop farther down in the ranks. I don't mean to make anybody feel guilty or anything (because I know who you are, person using Comcast in Los Angeles who visits but never clicks there) and I'm not saying this hoping that you'll start a campaign of clicking or anything. This is kind of like therapy for me. The first step is admitting you have a problem and all that crap....



18 comments:

LilPixi said...

I personally know what it's like to obsess over & feel outraged over such things. Been there. lol

As for the top mommy blogs, how many times can someone vote?
I don't know how it works. I know I've voted once, but why do I feel like I maybe even did twice?
Cuz if that's the case, I'll vote everytime I visit.

Kimberly said...

I'm obsessed with getting readers. I have 7. You have...a LOT more than that. Honestly, I'd never noticed the little sidebar thing, but I'll click it obsessively now.

jillsmo said...

That was not my intention when I wrote this! But... okay. If you insist.

LilPixi said...

I actually think I just said/asked something really, really stupid, but I voted with a second email address anyway. lol

Apples and Autobots said...

I'm going to slink away now and roll around in my guilt. I admit it. I visited. I commented. But..I..didn't..click. (I can't tell you how hard it is to write those words.) I'm sorry. I didn't know it meant that much to you. I really didn't know, because well, you're awesome. Anyone who reads your blog knows how funny, interesting, and great you are. I assumed you did too. I feel like the world's worst blog reader (sniffle). I'm sorry I let you down Jill.

jillsmo said...

Oh, please tell me you're just fucking with me.

Apples and Autobots said...

Please tell me you didn't think I was serious!

JennieB said...

I get like this too. I've been thinking about getting a new double stroller, and weighing the pros and cons for, I don't know, 6 months? I think my mind just needs to work on something.

As for the blogs, I get really competitive, especially when I see bloggers winning awards when I know that I, and you, and others, are much better writers. But then I have to remember that I write my blog because I enjoy it, and because I wanted to meet some people in the same boat, and I've accomplished that. This isn't supposed to be something stressful. Hopefully we can learn to be happy in our little corner of the bloggy world :)

jillsmo said...

A&A: have you not noticed that I'm totally neurotic?

Carry on.....

Jen, you're so right. That's why I created my OWN award! :)

LilPixi said...

Then I'm gonna have to vote as often as I remember to. Anything for my favorite mommy blogger.

Not Just Another Mother Blogger! said...

Wow, I'm not the only one obsessing about silly stuff. Except I'm upset that I care that I'm in the 400s, not in the top ten on that mommy blog thing. And does being number one lead to more blog traffic and internet fame? I think not. That only comes from being Mayor of Target. (kidding! I think)

Rebecca said...

So I can vote daily? I'm a little slow at things like this.

Cheryl D. said...

You'll always be the mayor of Target in my mine. Who cares what four-square says!

If it makes you feel any better, I'm number 16 for Special Needs on Top Mommy blogs. I just checked and saw that I had 5 votes! Woohoo! What's really funny is that's the most I've ever had there. I was at 4 for awhile, but then dropped down to 2. How on earth do you drop down? Can people actually unclick you? I don't understand!

It's a good think I'm not obsessive! LOL

Dani G said...

A) Jessica H and Ann are probably the same person. Bitches.
B) Comcast? In Los Angeles? It's probably my fucking mother in law. Ugh.
C) should we discuss the fact (which Lynn LOVES to point out) that I have 795 friend on FB and only 210 "like" my fan page. Fuckers!

Big Daddy Autism said...

A) I love that Dani G will not let Ann's name fade to a long lost memory for Lynn.
B) I have never voted for you because I knew of your obsessive tendency and did not want to enble you.
C) Target has gone downhill under Jessica H's reign of terror.

Autism Mom Rising said...

Oh Jill I love ya....I call you "Autism Land's Blogess, But Better" (Check out The Bloggess's header & you'll get it http://thebloggess.com/ ).

@jencull said...

I got a little, ok, a LOT, caught up in rankings too for a bit and then had the very mature realisation that it is really only a numbers game and it is too easy to 'play' it and fix it. So now I don't bother. I hate being mature and reasonable!! Jen

Lynn said...

You can tell that much about what your readers are clicking on? I'm in deep shit. Yeah, it could be worse, you could have 600 Facebook "friends" who don't like you enough to like your blog page. I never tire of riding Dani G about that.

I was wondering how much the TMB thing drove traffic. I figured it was all just fellow bloggers and not people who were actually like "gee I'd really like to read a mommy blog right now".

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