Yeah. Then I had my own kids and I learned what this Parking Lot Grab is really all about. (I actually sent my husband a text message the first time I ever did it. "I just did the parking lot grab!!!!!") I'm not necessarily concerned that you're going to drive your car into my kid, but I do know that as long as I have a hand on my child, no harm will come to him.
That's pretty stupid, but it's what neurotic parents think, apparently. I say "apparently" because I'm a neurotic parent and this is what I think. I always have to be holding their hands when we cross the street. Child 1 is going to be fucking 9 years old in a week and a half, he's not a runner, he doesn't need me holding his hand when he crosses the street. I need me holding his hand when he crosses the street, because if I'm not touching him.... what? A car will materialize out of nowhere and hit him? I don't even know what I'm thinking, all I know is that I have to be touching them in some manner until they're safely on the sidewalk again.
Yesterday I was walking home from school with Child 1 and 2 and C2's BFF and every time we crossed a street (there are about 7 crosswalks on our walk home) I, of course, had to be holding their hands, except there were three of them and I only have two hands, so I made two of them hold hands with each other. As if two 5 year olds holding hands are going to be protected from a car materializing out of nowhere? But since I had one of their hands, and that one had the other kid's hands, I guess the line of safety passed through the one kid and onto the next.
I know, I'm a fucking basketcase. But, I tell you these things so that you can laugh with me... not at me. I said WITH, motherfuckers!!
And what the hell do you mean "where the fuck have you been?" I TOLD you January was a busy month for Bookkeepers! Christ.....