Anyway, I was upset, and I left a comment, of course, knowing that it would be wildly unpopular, because they hate shit like that over there.
Y'know, it used to be that I didn't really have an opinion about what they call "The R Word," but which I prefer just to say: retard. (Kind of like saying Voldemort). Look, I blogged about it over a year ago. But in the last year, Child 1 has experienced the beginnings of what will likely be a lot of bullying in his future, and even though that word was never used by any of the kids at his school, I seem to have grasped onto it as the symbol of everything he's going to suffer at the hands of other people in his lifetime.
I know, maybe more than anybody, that people on the internet like to play a role, because the anonymity of the internet keeps them safe from having to take any real responsibility for their words. And I know that people will say things on the internet with the intention only to piss people off (that's called "trolling," and people do it on reddit all the time, just because it's fun for them). And I also know that people, especially on reddit, like to take the moral position that you should be able to say anything in the world you want to because the 1st Amendment gives you that right. But there's something about a person who would so gleefully say to a mother of an autistic child "I'm sorry your tard is such a burden," with the sole purpose of making me angry, that makes me lose all faith in humanity. I'm not easily offended by much, as you guys might know, and I'm not even sure if I'm offended by this as I am just really sad. Really really sad.
Because this is what my kid is facing in the years ahead of him: having to be around people who think nothing about saying and doing whatever they want because they think it's funny. These people, who might be pushing him and physically hurting him and actually calling him a retard to his face. These people, who call themselves "tardcharger," and who think it's hilarious and perfectly acceptable to say things like this.
Just to be clear, I'm not saying that anybody should be censored, my problem is with the thought process of a person who thinks that this kind of thing is okay. People actually think that this kind of thing is okay. How do I protect my child from people like that? The truth is that I can't. And that's why I'm sad now.
UPDATE:
Update 2:
The kid who originally made the comic emailed me and I'm confident that he's cool. He's young, and saying things like that on reddit will get you karma, and I'm sure that's what he was going for. But, the fact that he wrote to me, and felt bad, convinces me that he's cool. The other dudes, though.... that's a whole other story.....
blogginglily 73p · 693 weeks ago
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thoughtyautie 29p · 693 weeks ago
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Lynn · 693 weeks ago
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Cactusinyrpants 59p · 693 weeks ago
The man in a story I shared who called the little autistic boy and "idiot" is distant from his kids, it's clear they are closer to his wife, even though of all 6, 3 are his from a previous marriage. His wife openly flirts with other men, complains about what an ass he is in public, and when he is out of town, treats herself and friends to lavish dinner parties at his expense... then posts pics on FB with a big "FU glad your not here" to he husband..... See, see how that works?
Mr. "Tard wrangler" is probably convinced that he is a loser who really wanted to teach gifted kids but got stuck with "tards" because he sucks at what he does... rather than feel sad, maybe you should feel pity... but don't get carried away.
pugariffic 41p · 693 weeks ago
Sue Basko.. the bitch never sleeps i swear. I wake up to her emails. sent between 2 and 4am..lol PSYCHO MUCH?
The world sucks. Not always, but when it is, it sucks. Ignorance.. it's out there. Even in our own "special needs" community. On the flip side, you'd be surprise how many people are more than willing to accommodate.
..i'm rambling.
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JustMe · 693 weeks ago
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Mayor Gia · 693 weeks ago
and this one "I agree. My mother-in-law runs a special needs program and if she heard one of her employees call one of the kids a "tard," especially if that kid was her son, they'd be fired on the spot. It's not something you get to decide is okay just because your job is stressful."
There's always gonna be shitty people out there, but at least there's also other people out there willing to call them out on their shittiness.
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Justin Mcmillon · 693 weeks ago
Handflapper · 693 weeks ago
A colleague and I used to have our lunch interrupted every day by a student who would run in from the cafeteria crying that someone had called her a retard. This was middle school, when kids specialize in cruelty. None of the bullshit things adults say to kids to make them feel better made any difference at all, and we could write up the little creeps who said, but next day there would be somebody else. Then one day my friend looked at this student in exasperation and told her, "The next time someone calls you that, you look at them and say, 'What's your point???'"
The last time this particular student interrupted our lunch was to run in and announce that she had done it and that the kids had laughed and asked her to sit with them.
sherilinr · 693 weeks ago
what is the matter with people?
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Kelly Hafer · 693 weeks ago
It kills me to think that someone tasked with helping my son might in reality be calling him a "tard" behind his back. Fuck. C'mon, Darwin...let this guy and his ilk be phased out.
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Terri · 693 weeks ago
Leigh · 693 weeks ago
Sorry you found that. Humanity has a lot to answer for.
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Dixie · 693 weeks ago
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wantapeanutblog 70p · 693 weeks ago
All we can do is speak up, one asshole at a time, then move on. We may not change that person, but other people are listening, and I think we have a greater affect than we can tell from one conversation.
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Gin · 693 weeks ago
Jen · 693 weeks ago
If nothing else, Autism does not equal mental retardation. It'd be nice if people could get that right. Y'know, in addition to the fact that WE'RE ALL STILL HUMAN BEINGS.
I'm sorry, I did grow up in the 80's/90's, and occasionally refer to something as "retarded". But people? With my education? Developmentally disabled. If I deign to comment at all. Though I do occasionally have to tell the next person in line that no, the little boy I was waiting on was not just "some kind of a brat". And leave it at that. Because, privacy. But what the hell.
(I think I stopped making sense. Ah well.)
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Meghan · 693 weeks ago
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Lesley · 693 weeks ago
I'm sorry these people are out there...I don't have any good advice for coming to terms with the existence of such cruelty either, only the never-ending hope that our kids have as little exposure to creeps like that as possible.
~Lesley
@LaliQuin · 693 weeks ago
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Mom2MissK 74p · 692 weeks ago
I take some comfort in karma and the old "what goes around comes around." Let's hope this kid learns his lesson sooner rather than later!
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Stephanie 102p · 692 weeks ago
I spent a lot of time as a teacher trying to eradicate the word "retard". I told my students about my aunt every year - my aunt who is in a wheelchair, who communicates with a language board, who has the mental capacity of a child, who is one of the people I love most in the world, who was "retarded" back when that word was an actual scientific label. I showed them pictures and shared stories and told them how much words like that could hurt people. I'm not sure that it worked...but I do remember one year rushing over to the playground to stop one of my bully boys. He was saying to another kid "Don't ever call anyone a retard, you asshole!" as he pushed him off the swing. Progress? I'm not sure.
Blue Sky · 692 weeks ago
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Jessica 96p · 692 weeks ago
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omum22 16p · 692 weeks ago
What I find maddening about this sort of situation is that people jump faster than lightning to remind people of their first amendment rights. What they forget is that rights come with responsibilities. There's nothing responsible about hurling insults at someone, especially those who are vulnerable, it's assholery of the highest order.
OKinUK · 692 weeks ago
Jennifer Hall · 692 weeks ago
The word dork, on the other hand, with always be used freely!
I've never been on reddit, and now I kinda don't want to.
solodialogue 73p · 692 weeks ago
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Sarcasm Goddess · 692 weeks ago
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Forgotten · 692 weeks ago
My babies will be raised better, too. I promise you that we are out here trying to make the world a better place for our sweet babies to grow up in. Maybe with all of us making so much noise about it, people will start trying to change.
Also, I just love you to pieces, too. You're an awesome mama! :)
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