xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#' Yeah. Good Times.: Theory of mind part 2

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Theory of mind part 2

Here is Theory of mind part 1

(Theory of mind is the ability to attribute mental states to oneself and others and to understand that others have beliefs, desires and intentions that are different from one's own.)

Wednesday morning I was in Starbucks, picking up my grande no whip mocha (an important detail, in case anybody wants to buy me a cup of coffee at some point) and in front of me in line was this chick named Sarah.

Sarah was on the phone, chattin' away. When it was her turn to place her order, she rambled it out to the barista and then went back to chattin' it up. The barista then had to say "do you want a bag? Ma'am? Ma'am? Ma'am? Do you want a bag? Do you want a bag?" while Sarah just kept on going. (It turned out she did want a bag. I got to the register and said "that must be really annoying to you." "I get paid by the hour," he said. Good answer).

Then Sarah and I both stood there at the little table at the end, waiting for our drinks. She continued her conversation, loudly. Occasionally she would SHRIEK with laughter. Did I mention she was loud?

The other people in the place exchanged some glances, and we all knew that we were all thinking "this chick is really fucking annoying." At one point, after a particularly loud shriek, Sarah says into the phone "I'm totally annoying all these people around me." So, not only was she apparently aware that she was really fucking annoying, she also just didn't give a shit. On and on she went, as the barista yelled and yelled "Sarah! I have your extra hot chai at the bar. Sarah! SARAH!!"

Finally... FINALLY... my drink came and I was able to leave, but then I walked behind her while she stumbled across the (red light) crosswalk and to her car, never even taking a breath.

Sarah was not autistic. But, hey. You know who lacks Theory of Mind? Autistic people.

Yep. True story.

For more (non-sarcastic) information about how autistic people lack Theory of Mind, but NT people totally don't, visit Autism and Empathy.



Comments (13)

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I especially enjoy it when people YELL into their cellphones, because I want to hear someone's life story. Like I care that your boyfriend dumped you for your best friend. He probabaly got tired of being yelled at on the phone all the time and wanted revenge. :)
Hey now, let's not compare autistic folk to asshole NT's. There is a difference between ASSHOLE and Theory of Mind...LOL ;) <3

Wow, I just figured out you can add smileys.

:) :D xD ;) :p

o.0
My recent post Zippity Do Da
What really irks me is the people who hold their phone like a damn walkie/talkie and the person they're talking to is on speaker. I agree w/jentroester's comment fully. Asshole vs Theory of Mind. There's a line.
My recent post BlogHer Syndication
Sometimes I'm oblivious and do shit like that. Gawd, I even annoy myself. o.0
good stuff.
My recent post Joy In Mudville?
if i didn't know you were in Berkeley, i would SWEAR you were talkin about the SB down the street. that Sarah is a douchebag.

My recent post 50 ways to Inspire?
The older I get (or the more my kids' antics addle me), the less patience I have for morons. The are freakin' everywhere. I probably wouldn't gotten punched, but the temptation to go up to Sarah and yell into her face and phone, "YOUR ORDER IS READY SARAH! STOP BEING AN ASSWIPE AND GET IT ALREADY!" would have been too much.
LOVE this! I just read your first post on the subject, too and I agree with you. I tell people this all the time: Danny has a lot of empathy. Tons. It really bothers him when someone is upset and he can read my moods faster and better than anyone else in the world. The thing is, he doesn't always react the way he's "supposed to." He doesn't tend to come up and hug me when I am upset like my daughter might, but if he thinks I'm upset because of my husband, Danny will let Bil have it in no uncertain terms. He sticks up for people with fierce loyalty.

I think people just misread him when they think he has no empathy. And he's waaaay more polite than that Sarah chick!
My recent post Role Model
Okay. She sounds super annoying. You shoulda been able to vote her out of the starbucks. I mean, we do live in a democracy...
My recent post Bad Poetry Thursday: An Ode to Wine
Ugh. Some things about my work I don't love.
My recent post are you a winner?
I really hope that the information about autistic people/supposed "lack of empathy" gets an update sooner than later. It makes my teeth grindy with annoyance. Based on my personal experience, and what I've heard a lot of parents say, we on the spectrum totally do not lack empathy. Sociopaths lack empathy, and we're definitely not that! We just don't always know what to do or say . . . or, on some other occasions--for aspies, I know, anyway--it's not so much lacking empathy as not understanding there's an issue that is felt emotionally because we wouldn't necessarily get emotional about it. I have often been guilty of getting into situations where I didn't know the other person was upset at all because it wasn't something I would get upset about. Once I figured it out, I was able to modify my behavior.
My recent post Book Review: Citrus County by John Brandon
There's an NT Sarah everywhere I go.
My recent post The Four Letter Word.
LOL! Don't even get me started on theory of mind! Before diagnosis I was limited in this area (in a pretty big way), but seriously, who's not?
My recent post Quirky and Bonkers

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