Okay, I think this is getting a little out of hand

So, I can be a little obsessive about things. When I set my sights on something, I will not stop thinking about it, and figuring out ways to make it happen, and lying in bed at night not sleeping wondering how it's going. Etc. This can be good if the topic at hand is something like "Getting My Child Into an ABA Program" or "Must Find The Perfect Birthday Gift." This is bad, however, when the topic is something meaningless and inane and has no real importance in the world outside of my own head and ego. Some times it just reaches massive levels of absurdity when I'm forced to stop and actually think rationally about it.

So, first a confession: I am no longer the Mayor of Target. I know. You're shocked and probably disappointed because you so enjoyed living in a world where I was the Mayor of Target, but no. I have voluntarily given up my title because I encountered another person who was, apparently, just better at cheating than I was and I had to let it go. It was the moment when I woke up that one morning to the email notification from Foursquare that I had been ousted as Mayor, and I felt actual outrage at the idea, that I realized it was probably time to let this one go. ACTUAL OUTRAGE. Because I was no longer mayor. Of Target. On foursquare. Seriously? This is what's making me feel outraged? I'm not outraged because the conditions in Haiti are still totally fucked up for the people living there, or that an enormous number of Americans can't afford health insurance and have to opt out of necessary surgeries to keep themselves alive because they can't afford it. No, I guess those things just aren't as important to me as keeping an imaginary, meaningless title that gets me nothing and means nothing to anybody.

It's called perspective, Jill. Get some.

So, I let go of the Target/Mayor dream. I had to, it had reached the levels of absurdity that I mentioned before. You can have it, Jessica H. Whoever you are.

My latest absurd obsession has become my ranking on Top Mommy Blogs. Look, I've dropped to #8. A couple of days ago I was #5. Last night when I logged on to see where I was, which I now do about 10 times a day, and saw that I had gone down again, I had another one of those "WTF are you doing" moments involving perspective. Because, you see, I've been doing things like obsessively checking the "out clicks" in my site stats and actually getting mad when I see people have visited, commented, but not clicked on the link to vote for me. Seriously? Getting mad? Because my friends have visited and left a little comment love but didn't click? That's absurd. I've actually been considering taking my laptop, every day, and driving around town looking for open WiFi networks so that I could vote for myself multiple times.

Once again, I have officially reached that level of absurdity where some perspective has become necessary. And so, I must give up another dream in order to save myself. Even though I was getting a fuck-ton of traffic when I was #5, I've removed the banner from showing up in every post and I'm going to have to just watch as I drop farther down in the ranks. I don't mean to make anybody feel guilty or anything (because I know who you are, person using Comcast in Los Angeles who visits but never clicks there) and I'm not saying this hoping that you'll start a campaign of clicking or anything. This is kind of like therapy for me. The first step is admitting you have a problem and all that crap....

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