xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#' Yeah. Good Times.: Dinosaurs!! Fun for the kids! Educational! My biggest nightmare!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Dinosaurs!! Fun for the kids! Educational! My biggest nightmare!

Run, Child 2!! RUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!

We're having a little staycation this week. Hubs is taking the week off and the boys both don't have camp. I have a little bit of work but not very much (I need more clients. *cough*). At first we were going to rent a house on the beach or something but I couldn't find anything for less than $600 for just a couple of days, so we decided to save our money and stay home, but have fun day trips every day. I figure wherever we go we're going to be spending a fuckload of money on fun day trips, anyway, this way we can still have them but get to sleep in our own beds at night. (At the end of this motherfucking staycation I'm going to add up everything we've spent on our goddamn motherfucking fun day trips, including the cost of motherfucking parking in the motherfucking Bay Area and I bet it adds up to much more than $600. Much, much more.)

Okay! So far we've been to the Aquarium of the Bay, in San Francisco. In the pouring rain. Awesome. And we've also been to our local science museum, where they have a dinosaur exhibit. Also awesome! There's a problem, though, with our museum having a dinosaur exhibit. (It might help you to go and read this post before I continue, that way what I'm about to say will make more sense. Then again, you might go and read that post and what I'm about to say will still make no sense. That's probably because much of what I say makes no sense and all the background research in the world isn't going to help either of us. But you know what? There are no guarantees in life. Give it a try, anyway.)

So... our problem with a dinosaur exhibit? Yeah. I can't pronounce any of the dinosaur names, even if most of them have convenient signs, like the one below.

"Uhhhhhhhh-PAT-uhhhhhhhhhhh-SOAR.....uhh........... this is called the Deceptive Lizard."

Okay, so... is the universe just fucking with me? Is this some kind of karmic retribution for all of my many dastardly deeds? If so, I don't appreciate your hijinx, Universe. I do not appreciate them AT ALL. This one was the worst. You're supposed to step on a scale and see how your weight compares to all these dinosaurs on the chart.

Hey, look! You weigh as much as a.... as a..... GODDAMMIT!

Luckily Child 2 doesn't know any better and doesn't seem to care much that he's not actually learning the correct names for any of these. He knows how to say "T-Rex," which is really all he cares about at the moment. YAY! We're learning stuff during the summer!!


I have a guest post up at TheBrokins.com with more stories about our adventures at the science museum; it's called Lessons In Autism. This one is more serious and I don't curse once. Can you believe that?? Only one way to find out....



Comments (28)

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Dude_WaitWhat's avatar

Dude_WaitWhat · 717 weeks ago

your stories are always uplifting and funny. they are also on this side of cute.
1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago
This side of cute? Is that the cute side?
So, which dinosaur did you weigh in at?
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1 reply · active 717 weeks ago
I don't want to talk about it
Dinosaurs are in our near future. Okay, not dinosaurs themselves, but a visit to our semi-local state park. Which I'm not looking forward to, because quite honestly being out in the middle of a national park in ten thousand degree weather is so not appealing.
My recent post This Week In Are You Kidding Me News...
Deceptive lizard, eh? Does he walk around wearing Groucho glasses, trying to pretend he's not a dinosaur?

Be careful. If you go home with one extra kid in the car, it might not be a kid. ....those pesky Apatosauruseseseses....
My recent post Wordless Wednesday - A modern fairy-tale
Oh how fun, the scale also measures in tons! That does sound like a goddamn mutherfucking good time, hooray!
My recent post Child-eating spirits, dual-sided light sabers, and magical blue drinks: our Savannah ghost tour adventure
Fun trivia, the name of the bird on the scale is spelled wrong, there should be an "a": Archaeopteryx. I only know this because I did a mock media kit in school for the visiting exhibit in Houston :)
1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago
I bet that means you know how to pronounce it
Oh, so fun fact, we DON'T live in very different states. Huh. Funny how that works.

Whoops. On that note... Shiny Jellyfish!
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Well, now it's official - I weigh as much as a stegosaurus.
My recent post I'll Never Be Lost For Words
1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago
Good lord, that scale made me laugh out loud! I almost want to get one for my home.
My recent post Life Is Too Short For Boring Summers
1 reply · active 717 weeks ago
What if Weight Watchers started using it?
Again, the comments miss the point, and so does the post, actually. Did you know what animal is supposed to have descended from dinosaurs........birds.
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THe girl LOVED dinosaurs and I would sound out those fucking names in private so that I didn't sound like a moron when I was reading them. Or I called them all Fred.
My recent post This day is already hella-long and not just because I'm stuck in a time warp where hella-long is still used.
I dont use the word staycation but i am taking off from work next week and my wife is too. we are taking the kids to white water(waterslides) and fernbank which is a museum that features dinosaurs.

awesome blog post
1 reply · active 717 weeks ago
I couldn't find an actual dinosaur exhibit in the Bay Area a couple of years ago...I'm glad to hear there is one now...what museum?
1 reply · active 717 weeks ago
Lawrence Hall of Science, but it's only until January. I couldn't find one either, I've been looking for months, so this was awesome!
rachelradiostar's avatar

rachelradiostar · 717 weeks ago

I'd like to see those scales used at a WW meeting muuuhahahahaaa!
OMG!!!!! That is fantastic. My son would wet himself with glee to go to that place. He is soooo obsessed with dinosaurs it is ridiculous. He couldn't name you the kids in his class, but he could name every dinosaur you showed him. Crazy!
My younger child would be terrified. He does not "do" large creatures, and if they move like the characters at amusement parks, forget it. The scale would be the bane of my existence. My 10yo Aspie would inform EVERYONE which dinosaur I weighed in at. Nevermind which one HE matches up with. Damn kids.
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Worst. scale. ever.

Clearly invented by a man. A stupid, stupid man.
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Yeah, I really couldn't get past the part where you are going to add up all the MF money you're spending on day trips and parking - I really was laughing my ass off! Only because that is the little kind of fact that would chew at my brain.
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paul stickland's avatar

paul stickland · 715 weeks ago

Hello, you might want to check out the free dinosaur colouring pages taken from my children's books, Dinosaur Roar, Swamp Stomp and Ten Terrible Dinosaurs Free dinosaur colouring pages. More dinosaur goodies at my Dinosaur Store! Best wishes and a big Roar!!! Paul Stickland
yay for learning and staycations. I'm stopping at 50 p. . . this p thing is exhausting.
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