I may never blog again

Seriously, guys, lately I've had nothing to write about. Not kidding around here. No.Th.Ing. There's only so many times I can write about how much I fucking hate cats before that shit gets really old. And yet... that seems to be the only thing happening in my brain these days. The things I've posted the past week or so have been things that were hanging around my drafts folder for days and weeks that I just said "fuck it, good enough" and hit publish on.

Although, I don't think Zombie Garbage Disposal got enough love. Can I get a wut-wut for Zombie Garbage Disposal? Also: what the fuck is a "wut-wut"? Did I just make that up?

This one other time I had nothing to write about so I just got in front of the computer and started typing, just to see what would happen, so I'm gonna try that again. Although, I'm not sure I can top the story about me wearing my sweatpants inside out and looking like I had giant elephant ears hanging off my hips. That shit was comedy gold, man. GOLD!

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So, this afternoon I go to pick up The Children from school and I get to the Kindergarten yard and see a couple of parents of C2's buddies standing around having a hushed conversation and looking nervous. So, naturally, I butt in and ask what's going on (yeah, I'm that mom). Apparently the little boys had been showing each other their little penises back behind the shed on the K yard. The moms looked totally horrified, even the one whose kid actually peed inside the metal car on the yard a few weeks ago. I said "Did C2 show his?" They didn't know. Clearly further research is indicated.

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Remember how I posted that video of me singing? I was thinking about making that a weekly thing. What do you guys think? Would that just be way too much vanity for one blog to handle? Or, isn't that kind of the purpose of a blog in the first place? To be a sanctuary of vanity? (Look at me, I used the fancy words, just for you guys!) Anyway, is that even something anybody is interested in? It's okay if it's not, you can tell me. Really! I prefer honesty over trying to spare my feelings. Fuck my feelings, I want the truth! You can tell me anonymously if you want....

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Okay, I just asked the Child about the penis thing. Man, that's kind of a hard subject to broach I'm now realizing. "So, son... did you show the ladies your willy today?" Apparently he did, along with his friends; they showed the 2 little girls they were playing with. So, um.... yay! My 2nd born has friends!! HA HA HA!! Oy. Any suggestions on how to deal with this one? We've already had the "private parts are private" discussion (to which he responded "but it was part of our GAME"); I'm so not used to having to deal with neurotypical social issues! They're so fucking complicated!! And now he just showed me exactly HOW he showed the kids his penis. "This is what I did," he says, pulling his pants down. I'm thinking of sending an email to the other parents involved (who are all friends of mine) with the subject line: Penises. Thoughts?

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You know who I hate with the white hot heat of a thousand suns? Jake and the Neverland Pirates. Who do YOU hate with the white hot heat of a thousand suns? I'm apparently going to be encouraging discussion in this useless post of mine today. Please put your hate in the comments and whoever has the best hate will win a prize. Promise! Pinky swears!! It will be the best prize ever.

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Earlier this evening Child 2 and I were playing with blocks and I built The Greatest Fort Ever Built. I'm serious, this thing was amazing. So I say "Dude, check out my fort! It's awesome!" and he says "That fort is awesome! If I didn't call that fort awesome I would have to be in a time out."

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The Child just asked me if mermaids really existed and I seriously had to think about it before I answered. Do mermaids really exist? Sometimes, I just don't know....

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