Yeah. Good Times.: Online gaming

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Online gaming

Child 2 got a Wii for his birthday; you may know that, I've been talking about it a lot (sometimes with hilarious results). He's been playing Wii sports and a LOT of Mario Kart, which is just a racing game with the characters from Donkey Kong. He's pretty good at it, which isn't too surprising (he totally kicks my ass at everything. Whatever) and he blew through all the initial tracks and races in about 2 weeks.

Then he discovered the online gaming portion of Mario Kart, where you can play against people all over the world. I've been watching him carefully and there's nothing different about the online version than the non-online version, except that you're actually playing against other people. There does seem to be a way to interact with people individually, but you have to "add a friend" which involves entering a code for the specific person you want to talk to

Well, this kind of freaks me out, I'll be honest. My first thought, of course, is that he's going to be molested by some freak. My second thought was, honestly, to be kind of proud because he's probably the only 6 year old playing and he was better than everybody else! HA HA! My kid rules! Ahem.

Anyway, hubs and I set some ground rules, particularly that he's not allowed to do any of this unless one of us is in the room. I messed with the Parental Controls and told him that I set some, that there was a password he wasn't allowed to know about and that it would restrict what he was able to do. (And, of course, in the process I accidentally deleted all of his Mario Kart settings, including all of the new characters, cars and tracks that he's unlocked over the past few weeks and I totally made him cry when I told him about it! YEAH! I'll take my parenting award now, please.)

I'm just not sure if this is right or not. I mean, I'm pretty confident that as long as I'm always in the room there's not a whole lot of trouble he can get himself into, either accidentally or on purpose, but I think 6 is kind of young for online gaming; even if it's not actual online gaming, really, or is it? (Lisa?) There's nothing going on that's any different from what he's been doing, except now he yells "I'm playing against real people!!" while he does it.

This is wrong; isn't it? I should put a stop to this? Or am I just freaking out because I'm overprotective and neurotic?

Thoughts?

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@ItsBridgetsWord · 712 weeks ago

Online gaming has been a great entry level socialization tool for my autistic eleven year old. Three years in I have no regrets. At times, he's been rude or encountered complete asses, just like real life, except we've been in the safety of our own home. Those times have been object lessons he can carry with him.

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Meg Daley · 712 weeks ago

I'm going to give the token non-parent opinion. So fell free to completely ignore, because I don't know any better.
I think you have set excellent ground rules for the online gaming and just think when he does go online for chatting with friends you have the ground rules firmly in place.
Also, just a little bear in mind tidbit. Just because child 2 is online, there is no guarantee that he is playing against actual people. They could be bots like in the off-line game. If there is not enough people on a certain server/room, the game system will generate players. If that makes you feel any better.

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Brandon · 712 weeks ago

I have played Mario Kart online (have c2 and I played together?? dun dun dun....) and there is no possible interaction whatsoever. The closest anyone can guess as to who you are is on the map it gives them a general area of where you live. For me, it shows Southern Idaho, but my IP is out of Boise so the map marker is way off.

Wii online play is different than, say, xbox. There is no interaction, no smack talk, no inappropriate vulgarities being directed toward your child. Mario Kart online is harmless.

And better to be paranoid than negligent. Good job there...

My recent post Idaho Men + Jailbait = Summon the Pedobear

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jillsmo 103p · 712 weeks ago

Thank you Brandon. This is REALLY helpful.

And now we will look for Brandon in Idaho and RAM THE SHIT OUT OF YOU.

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Jenn · 712 weeks ago

My kids are still too young for this yet but you seem to have covered all the basis and protected your little guy to the best of your ability without totally smoothering him in overprotectiveness.

I know less than nothing about the on-line gaming stuff so I shall defer to Brandon on this one. I will say that we do need to give our kids opportunities to become involved in social media and to not parent from a place of fear.
My recent post The Return from the Long Weekend and Blogging Award

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Catherine · 712 weeks ago

I'm overprotective and neurotic as well. We don't let our boys online game yet and they are 8 and 11. My theory is: there is plenty of time for that later, when they're older. If they do it now there will be nothing left for them to look forward to except sex and drugs. Okay, that may be a bit extreme but you see my point. No?
My recent post a recipe @foryourenjoyment and also thoughts on twitter #artoftimesuckage

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Gini · 712 weeks ago

No online gaming for us either and our oldest is 11 (the youngest boys are just happy playing Mario Kart against each other). But, if we did allow it, I think doing it on the Wii is much better than, say, through the XBox or online. I say let him have fun.
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Nicole · 712 weeks ago

I think anyone younger than 17 is too young for any type of online gaming. I spent a year playing World of Warcraft and most of what I saw made me want to gouge my eyes out. My oldest is 13 and wants a Facebook, Google+ or Twitter account, but he is SOL in that area because I refuse to give him that access.

My boys do play the Wii but it is not hooked up to the internet. They have each other and that is just fine.
My recent post My Boys; An Introduction

3 replies · active 712 weeks ago

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jillsmo 103p · 712 weeks ago

But Facebook & Twitter aren't online games, they're social networking sites. Their entire purpose is for people to interact individually with each other. This is just people racing cars together but in different locations; they have no actual interaction. Does that change your opinion about it?

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Nicole · 712 weeks ago

Maybe, but I am a little neurotic about things like that. In my mind, one thing leads to another. Online Wii > Online gaming > Social networking. I prefer to keep them away from things like that, at least until they are older.

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jillsmo 103p · 712 weeks ago

Yeah, I hear ya. I'm the Queen of being neurotic about things. I even have a crown. No, really. I made it myself out of tinsel and self doubt.

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jacqui · 712 weeks ago

It sounds to me like you're being really careful about it. And Brandon in-but-not-in Idaho's comment made me feel even better about it. Congrats on child 2 being the King of Wii!
My recent post An Interview With A Fake Boyfriend…

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Cassie · 712 weeks ago

Being optimistic, he gets to reearn all those achievements you deleted again, and feel that accomplishment all over again! Really though, it's not like he's in a chatroom. I don't know how restrictions work, but just make sure he can't add people and can't accept adds. My brother lets his 5 year old play WoW and just turns chat off when she's playing. Well.. she really just likes running of cliffs, but whatever keeps her happy.
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Lisa · 712 weeks ago

Ok here is the deal on what I think. We have a xbox and a wii and a kinect. The oldest 5 all have online accts with xbox. BUT we are a family of gamers AND the only time they play is when we all play. By family of gamers I mean that 3 of their Uncles play, and all of their cousins. They are only allowed to add friends if I know them so basically their lists consists of all family. Also the parental settings on these things are awesome. Of the 5 that have accts I set it up so the younger of the 3 are only allowed to talk to people on their friends lists and no one else. The oldest two are teens and can handle or just defer to me or their dad when something happens.

Ironcially enough the Wii isn't set up to the internet cause I wasn't shelling out $100 bucks for the wireless connection thingy when they could play xbox.

For you it sounds like you are handling it very well and have set up so great ground rules and settings.

GAME ON!!
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andrea · 712 weeks ago

I think the fact that you thought to have rules makes all the difference...Mine are 14 and 11 and just cannot fathom why I cannot fathom how the online thing works. I don't really know what they were doing with those ds things they walked around with for quite some time, but I think they were playing online too--trading whatnot with people all over the globe. And I absolutely suck at Mario Kart, which is probably good or they would never ask me to play!
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sherilinr · 712 weeks ago

my daughter is 9 (and aspie) and i've let her play online on a couple kids sites where there is free chat so they're actually talking to other people. this made me a little freaked out at first & i wouldn't let her have the chatting option turned on at first, but eventually i went ahead & let her do it because she's got to practice talking to people & learning internet safety. i was really happy to get a notification from the site (it's national geo's site animal jam) telling me that she'd given out her youtube account name & that she'd been issued a warning. it makes me feel better knowing that there's someone monitoring the chat for any inapproriate conversations or sharing. plus, her typing & spelling skills have improved tremendously which amounts to big bonus points in my book.
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@pugariffic73 · 712 weeks ago

My daughter is older (and NT) and we allow it. She has no interest what so ever in communicating with people. She just wants to PLAY! lol She does play mario kart wii a LOT! So if you want someone SAFE for him to play online with, contact me and i'll give you her friend code. (she's a pokemon FREAK!)

She's 14.. and has mastered the game... so he might get swept up! hahahaa (#myKidIsBetterThanYourKid hahahaa)

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chosenchaos 93p · 712 weeks ago

I would be hesitant but only because I wasn't savvy with the online gaming world. Once YOU feel comfortable about it, then I see no problem with it. Having readers like Brandon reply are helpful for that. As long as you're one step ahead I think it's fine. http://chosenchaos.blogspot.com/

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Amy · 712 weeks ago

I think you're just fine. It really is a good idea to be paranoid about anything, but with the ground rules you've set and you being so cautious, I don't think much can happen. At least with Mario Kart!
My recent post Incident At The Water Slide

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Yasmin · 712 weeks ago

I am totally neurotic, paranoid, irrational even. I think six is a bit young, but the choice is yours really as to what age you deem it fit for him to do online gameplay. :)
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loridyan 19p · 712 weeks ago

IMO, every person out there is a molester until they prove me wrong, which I'll admit is a tad neurotic (can I borrow some tinsel?) but better than the alternative. I think you monitoring everything so closely and cheering your kid on (when you aren't making him weep) is a great compromise!
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Sarah · 712 weeks ago

I know nothing about Wii (or xbox, or Twitter or Facebook, or ..., you get my drift) but is it possible to disconnect the game from the internet and Child 2 won't know that he's not playing with "real people"? Like Meg said, other "people" will appear and you can just tell him they're real?

As for whether he's too young, I think he's too young if you think he's too young. It seems like you've put some safeguards in place but I wouldn't know if they're enough (due to my social media incompetence mentioned above). Regardless, I'm not the one that has to bail him out of juvenile hall.

Happy Parenting!

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mylindaelliott · 712 weeks ago

Your supposed to be overprotective and neurotic about a 6 year old with Autism. That's your job at this point. That said, you have come up with good rules. And you are supervising him. That is much better than alot of parents do with older children. Let him play. It is so goood for him and his self esteem.

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blogginglily 73p · 701 weeks ago

yeah. . . it's really harmless. Nintendo seems to have put a lot of thought into it. They can't really even talk to each other apart from a few canned "Awesome" or "Eat my dust" type responses they can pick from.

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Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Online gaming

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