So, I took both boys to the camp this morning; it was the same time I'd ever dropped them both off at the same place at the same time. Child 2 is attending Child 1's camp for this last week before school starts, and he's going with his best friend H and H's brother C. I think today was kind of a rehearsal for next Wednesday when he starts Kindergarten, except he won't have his best friend with him, but I'll be taking him to a brand new place with brand new kids and brand new teachers for the first time.
He's perfectly happy, by the way, but I'm sure you knew that. He's eatin' apple slices and running around and will soon be king of that place, as he is most likely destined to be king of every place that he graces with his presence. Me, however, not so much. I have a sick feeling in my stomach and my hands are shaking. Seriously? WTF is wrong with me? He's perfectly fine so what am I fucking freaking out about?
I think that all teachers and camp counselors who care for my kids think I'm a total freak because I'm always rambling something completely incoherent to them about how I'm freaking out at the moment. On my way out I told the dude sitting there that this was like practice for Kindergarten. He says "he seems pretty social and easygoing," like he was surprised that I would be so fucking weird about the whole thing. Yeah, maybe he should be surprised, because he doesn't know how much of a neurotic mess I am most of the time.
Whose brilliant idea was it for me to have kids in the first place? The only thing I can do is try not to let my weirdness rub off on them, I don't want them to become weird, too. Fuck.