xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#' Yeah. Good Times.: You must chill! I have hidden your car keys!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

You must chill! I have hidden your car keys!

I can't even count the number of times I've said that I'm not cut out for this parenting thing because I'm too neurotic. Well, whatever that number was, we may now add another one.

The boys and I are at the grocery store this afternoon (where we ran into H and C and H's mom and OMGITWASSOEXCITING that we ran around the cheese display about 10 times until we fell down!!!!!!!!!). We were there to get some chicken, and there was a bit of a line, there was a group of shaggy high school, maybe college guys in front of us. Child 1 walks over, stands in front of them, points to them (which is more of a point/flap/stim combo) and asks "Are you guys getting chicken?"

And thus begins the internal dialogue.....

No, he can't do that! Must make him stop! They'll think he's weird!

So what if they think he's weird? Who the fuck cares what they think?

But other kids don't do things like that.

Yes they do, other 8 year olds definitely do things like that. 

How the hell do you know what other 8 year olds do? Have you ever known an NT 8 year old?

Well, no, I'm just assuming that he's weird because he's, well... WEIRD.

Maybe YOU'RE the one who thinks he's weird, have you ever considered that?

Hey, fuck you!

No, fuck YOU!

NO! Fuck YOU!!!

*fight scene ensues*

I didn't actually make him stop, but when they told him they weren't getting chicken I did feign surprise. Somebody seriously needs to take away my parenting license. Oh, that's right, you don't NEED a license for this. HA HA HA HA HA.... oh, that's not right....


Nobodyspecial said...

O.K. First of all, the toilet paper thing is right.
Second of all. All kids are weird. You don't get to own weird! "are you getting chicken" is a legitimate question. What about the parents of those shaggy kids? My kid was shaggy for way too long, I made him get a hair cut. Oh and your kids are excessively cute! Cut that out, they are making the other kids look less cute by comparison.

Unknown said...

My kids are shaggy, too, though! Did you read where I wrote about their horrible haircuts? They're HORRIBLE!

Nobodyspecial said...

Oh yeah, that bad haircut. I forgot. My kid used to get those. What is it about those cheap haircut places anyway? I mean, I know it's cheap, but don't they at least have to know how to cut hair in order to work there?
Either way, your kids are still little, shaggy is cute on little kids.

McKenna said...

Oh that internal dialogue is so right on. I do that to myself constantly. Sometimes I wish I could not care just as much as my daughter does.

Post a Comment