xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#' Yeah. Good Times.: Thoughts on not giving a shit

Monday, August 16, 2010

Thoughts on not giving a shit

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, as I rapidly approach A Birthday That Is A Multiple Of 10, how things that used to bother me I just don't give a shit about anymore. I'm sure it's part of getting older, of figuring out priorities, etc., but sometimes I'm just struck at how much I really don't give a shit about things that I used to give a shit about. And, I was just talking to a friend about the cathartic power of blogging, so, I thought I'd make a list.

Petty online squabbles

I'm a member of 2 online communities, one of which has been together going on 9 years now. Some of these people are, truly, my best friends in the world, even though we've never met in person. And there was a time when what somebody wrote on a message board really had an impact on me; I took it all really personally and really seriously. But, then, my brother died, and my kid was diagnosed with autism, and the other kid came along, and all of these real life things kind of got in the way of these online things and I just stopped caring so much. I recently had a little spat with an online person and I was amazed at just how seriously she was taking the whole thing. I told her, who gives a shit what I think? I'm just words on a screen to you, you don't know me, why do you care what I say? I used to care about that stuff, but I just don't anymore.

People who are passive aggressive

Y'know, if you've got something to say, just fucking say it! Don't be a pussy about it and beat around the bush, I don't have time for that. I also don't have the interest for that, so if you're not going to just come right out with it, get the fuck out of my face, would you? I have shit to do, I don't have the time, energy or the interest to indulge your little pity party. Shit or get off the pot, I say!


I used to care. I really did, I used to care a lot. I worked on campaigns, I did voter registration, I organized, I picketed, I did it all. But then the 2000 elections happened and I had this major moment where I realized that I have, literally, no power. It doesn't matter what I think or what I say, it doesn't even matter who I vote for, because nothing I do will make a difference. So, I stopped caring. I watch Rachel Maddow (LOVE HER!) and she attacks these things with such snarky glee and I wonder: how does she do it? How can she care so much? Okay, well, maybe that's a bad example, because there's a person who can and DOES make a difference; a HUGE difference. But, I used to have her (albeit less adorable) attitude and at this point, 10 years later, I can't even muster enough energy to pretend I care anymore.

You know who I probably sound like right now? My Dad. I can just hear my mom saying "Holy shit, you're just like your father!" (That's how she talks, my Mom. She's awesome).  I'm totally okay with that, sounding like my Dad, because my Dad is also awesome. These are the things that are important, I'm realizing as I continue to age despite my best efforts to stop time. The people you love, the people who have been there for you, the people who rely on you to keep them alive. Fuck all that other shit, the shit that doesn't matter, it's just a waste of time to spend your energy on these things that don't matter.


Spycookies said...

sing it sister!

Nibor said...

You sure curse a lot for an (almost) old lady. (But I guess you come by that honestly. Or at least by your mother.)

Nobodyspecial said...

I'm attempting to use my apathy for good instead of evil as I have been doing for some time now.
Little by little, I'm not really very good at it but I am making progress, I am trying what I call "painless compliments". See, I stopped giving a shit a very long time ago. People often said that I always just say what ever comes into my head, appropriately or not. And that comes from years of not giving a shit. Sometimes, I would have to apologize...well, lot's of times I would have to apologize, and frankly, that was easy too since, I really didn't feel strongly enough in what I said in the first place to stand by it.

So, now I am trying to just toss out easy compliments just to see how that goes. You can pick a few people you know just from work or soccer or something...people who don't "really know you", and just start. Wow, what a great house! Is that leather? Nice...very nice, did you decorate yourself? Excellent taste, that is a great car, If I know you, I'll bet you got a real good deal on that!I just can't decide if your kids are the cutest or most adorable kids I've ever seen! I think both! Ooooh, I bet your job is interesting, no really, accounting is really where the rubber meets the road in any business, you are the people who make the country work honestly.....See?
Look how easy that was, I just came up with those off the top of my head. Sincere sinceshmear who cares? People love compliments, as long as you don't say them all smart assy.
You can start with "nice shoes" or "I like that tie". Then build on that.
Use that not giving a shit to your advantage.

Unknown said...

That was a really cool thing you just wrote.

(like that?)

Nobodyspecial said...

There you go! See, painless, and validated me at the same time! This is such a great blog!

Unknown said...

Comedy GOLD!

The Sisters' Hood said...

A right wing bastard with a sense of humor, not something you see every day ;)
Oh, you care, you do ;)
Thanks for hoooking up to Time travel Tuesday this week. I really love reading everyone's old posts, some I have read before and some I am glad have been pointed my way!
ps. Wordy Wordless Wednesday link up tonight - so busy ;)

The Woven Moments said...

My one complaint about this post (and you in general) is that you are just. too. subtle. I never know how you reeeeeeaaaalllllyyyy feel.

I kid. You know I love you.

jayedee said...

i swear i just heard the rocky theme song playing in the background....

Melissa @ A Wide Line said...

You're officially my hero. Anytime you and your mom want to have a glass of wine, just holla. :) Visiting from the time travel.

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