Because she's fucking awesome.
I must put this cozy to good use. No... not to "good" use, ..... to the best possible use that any cozy could ever be put to!
Okay, but here's the thing, though. This is a tea cozy... and I fucking hate tea. I really do. It's because when I was pregnant with Child 1, and I got sick or nauseous, the only thing I could ever really do for it was to drink some tea. I drank a lot of mint tea, and I drank throat coat, and I drank ginger tea... and after a while it became a joke with Hubs and me, that whenever anything was wrong with me, I should "have some tea!" and it really started to piss me off. So, ever since then, tea has done nothing but anger me. Yes, that's right: Tea makes me angry.
But look how adorable this tea cozy is!! You can tell it's just dying to make tea cozy.
It even has adorable-ass buttons in the back that wrap around the mug handle!!
I guess it could also be a coffee cozy, but... I don't know... since I hate tea, I somehow felt that this cozy was meant for bigger and better things.
So, I tried it out on some other options....
I do drink a lot of coffee, so maybe like this?
No... that clearly won't work. What else do I like to drink? Well, when I'm not drinking coffee, though, the only other non alcoholic beverage I like is water. So, maybe....?
No, no.... I'm not sure this cozy was destined to be on a non-alcoholic beverage. I'd better keep trying. Beer! It fit perfectly around the beer bottle, except, sadly... I don't drink beer. That was for my college days, I have more mature, refined taste now. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.... no, I totally don't have that, I just don't drink beer because it makes me too full.....
I do enjoy champagne! It's the crack of alcohol, as hubs likes to say, and who am I to ever turn down any kind of crack? Actually.... I've said too much.... nevermind.....
Wine makes much more sense, especially during #wineparty, but it was pretty hard to hold the glass, and I was afraid of spilling on my awesome wine cozy.... maybe there's something that works better...
NOW we're getting somewhere, but again, I didn't want to spill and it wasn't very easy to hold the glass, especially after the fourth or fifth one of these that I tried it with. Not. Easy. At. All.
Y'know, I think I may be over thinking this thing, perhaps I should simplify?
Yeah. That's more like it.... much more like it..... Now we're talking!
But, just in case I still wanted that non alcoholic option....
Do you want a cozy made for you? You can totally have one! Just not for free, is the thing. That's not a problemo, is it? Go to Dawn's Facebook page for more info. And thank you, Dawn, for my awesome new vodka and Xanax cozy!!!!!!
Update, from Hubs:
