Yeah. Good Times.: 3 circle story maps will be the death of me. And snark.

xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#' Yeah. Good Times.: 3 circle story maps will be the death of me. And snark.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

3 circle story maps will be the death of me. And snark.

Note: In an ongoing quest to get klout in snark, I will now be putting the word "snark" in every post title until my dream becomes a reality. And maybe even longer than that. Your twitter RTs are appreciated, but only for that reason.....

The 3 Circle Story Map is a tool of pure evil used to help 1st graders "deconstruct" the plots of the stories they read.

It involves reading a story and then breaking it down into 3 parts, which you write in the three circles. On the map.

The 3 Circle Story Map tears families apart. It makes women and children cry. It makes beloved pets run away from home out of pure fear. The devil uses 3 Circle Story Maps to teach the condemned how to deconstruct the plot of Hell Staff Meetings.

Here, I've made one for you, in order to deconstruct the plot of this post:

Here's another one which deconstructs the events of yesterday afternoon:

Incidentally, here's how I've deconstructed the plot of yesterday's Man vs. Wild. (I'm almost positive I'm doing this right):

Comments (31)

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Mayor Gia · 685 weeks ago

Hahah oh Bear Grylls, There is a reason I don't watch you. Trying to cut back on the piss drinking and goat testicle eating.
My recent post Valentine's Day Polar Bear

1 reply · active 685 weeks ago

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jillsmo 103p · 685 weeks ago

Those are hard habits to break, though

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Lizbeth · 685 weeks ago

Why yes, the goat testicle is chocked full of nutrients. It's one of the most over looked proteins on the market today.

And those circle things are the work of the devil.

My recent post My week off and what I did. And didn't do.

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blogginglily 73p · 685 weeks ago

Sweet sweet Bear Grylls. I love watching him eat spiders. . . especially when they try to climb out of his mouth as he's biting them. *shudders*.

They don't do three circle stories at my daughter's school. I think I'm happy about that.

2 replies · active 685 weeks ago

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jillsmo 103p · 685 weeks ago

Your district probably just hasn't adopted the Demon Curriculum. It's data driven.

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blogginglily 73p · 685 weeks ago

as long as there's data! *implements proactively*
My recent post Celebrating Misery - With Leslie's Comments

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andrea · 685 weeks ago

I have never heard of those particular circles (clearly from Dante's hell)!

So my potassium choices are bananas or barnyard balls? Yay!
My recent post Quests

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Sarah · 685 weeks ago

Wait until you have to start helping the kid write the story in the 3 circle story maps. ARGH!!!
My recent post The University- Penny Pinching

1 reply · active 685 weeks ago

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jillsmo 103p · 685 weeks ago

I don't know what that means and SHUT UP.

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Jim Reeve · 685 weeks ago

Hooray for Potassium supplements. I'm allergic to bananas, but I wouldn't go as far as Bear. When it comes to school work, we do the same stuff here. If Jacob doesn't want to do his homework, what can we really do? We can take his things away, but he'd just sit in his empty room and still not care. So we just ask him to do it when he's ready. And if he doesn't get ready, we don't push.
My recent post DOES ASPERGER'S HATE MONDAYS?

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Jim Reeve · 685 weeks ago

P.S. When's your wake?
My recent post DOES ASPERGER'S HATE MONDAYS?

1 reply · active 685 weeks ago

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jillsmo 103p · 685 weeks ago

I don't think Jews do those... do we?

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@gypsy_momma · 685 weeks ago

I'm with Sarah...wait until 3rd & 4th grade...they have to start writing their stories in those inferno circles, then write a story based on what they wrote in the circles...each time I want to watch the fother muckers burn!

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Yvonne9903 72p · 685 weeks ago

What an awesome blog post! Simple, gets your point across and is hysterical in the process. Perfection. I'm jealous that my kids don't have trauma-inducing homework that I could blog about. So. Jealous.

1 reply · active 685 weeks ago

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jillsmo 103p · 685 weeks ago

You should be jealous

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Heather · 685 weeks ago

Love it!
My recent post Nuk Fairy... of doom

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Aubrey Anne · 685 weeks ago

Brilliant. Just brilliant.

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lucysfootball 16p · 685 weeks ago

I think my life would be more organized were I to sort it into these circles. I'm going to start doing that. I think my friends will really appreciate that I boiled down our conversations to "what it was mostly about." Thinking about it, I'm pretty sure I could save time by pre-filling out that circle with "people are total asshats" for 99% of my conversations. This is really going to be awesome.
My recent post The Lighting of a Fire

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Robbie · 685 weeks ago

lmao..worth the wait. Though I have a crush on Bear. His dimples......
My recent post Blogging Report Card

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jacqui · 685 weeks ago

I don't like you being killed by 3 Circle Story Maps!! How will I get my wilderness tips??

P.S. You've been tagged in my most recent post. So, you're it!
My recent post Don’t Tell A Soul…

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Eryn · 685 weeks ago

Lets 3 circle story map this post!

What happened 1st: Jill is dead.
What was it mostly about: 3 circle stories are of the devil.
What happened last: I was happy I homeschool!

My recent post FAQs for the Homeschool Valentine Exchange

1 reply · active 685 weeks ago

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jillsmo 103p · 685 weeks ago

Yeah, that sounds about right

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Karen V. · 685 weeks ago

I so did not want to know how hard I could laugh about a goat's testicle. But thank you anyway... Can't wait for 1st grade homework now!
My recent post Retention.

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meg @members lounge · 685 weeks ago

Ha! I think school's just like to toy with parents. I mean, who ever solved for x in their entire life?

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Mama and the City 80p · 685 weeks ago

I *might* use *this* smart system at work, yeah. I hope I don't get fired. Gulp.

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K A B L O O E Y · 685 weeks ago

Got to say, I'm glad there was no fourth circle for that goat testicle one...
My recent post Today’s The Day!!

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tulpen · 685 weeks ago

Owen has brought these circle thingies home... but he does them at school, they're never homework. Thank fuck.

Instead he brings home fucking MATH which causes much screaming, teeth grinding and hair pulling. Literally.

My recent post On Being Reminded

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Jen · 685 weeks ago

I am blaming your for the fact that Katie came home with a G-D story map this week!!! WTF?!?!?! This crap has always JUST been done at school, and then I look down at the worksheet that comes home with weekly reading and see those circles. You jinxed me. You totally did. Well, I jinxed myself by saying we never have to do them for homework. We are so screwed.
My recent post Thanks, but no thanks...

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Michelle · 685 weeks ago

Just wait till you see the 9th grade English story diagram. It includes right triangles and squares. :-)

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Alicia D · 685 weeks ago

LMAO!!
My recent post tHERsDay

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harry · 249 weeks ago

MInecraft circle is hard to make in a minecraft game, thanks to this tool where I can easily make minecraft circle -MInecraft circle

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