xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#' Yeah. Good Times.: So, apparently I'm allergic to dogs.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

So, apparently I'm allergic to dogs.

So, I'm a Bookkeeper and I have 15 clients right now; and almost every single one of my clients has a dog. Whether I go to their home office to work, or their regular office, there's a dog pretty much everywhere I go. I'm cool with that, because I like dogs. They're not like cats; cats are assholes. Dogs are cool. They sit underneath the desk and lick my toes. I don't know why. Okay, dogs are also weird in addition to being cool.

Anyway, as far as I know I'm not allergic to dogs; I've never had a problem before. Until last week some time when I went to a new client, and she had this enormous, fuzzy, happy, licky, jumpy guy who immediately adored me, and I him. He kept jumping into my lap while we sat there talking and I couldn't help but hug him and love him and talk to him, instead of her. Okay, it might have been awkward. I don't know what breed he was, I asked, and she told me, and it wasn't anything I'd ever heard of before, but just so you know, he looked exactly like this:

After I left the two of them, I had about 45 minutes to go to Costco and then get to my next client. I was standing there looking at cheese when my eye started itching. I guess I rubbed it, I don't really remember, but before things got really bad I became acutely aware of the fact that I hadn't washed my hands since I had rubbed them all over Mr. Fuzzypants.

Things were getting itchier and itchier, and then they got leakier and leakier. I abandoned my cart full of 100 tons of meatballs, 19 pounds of nutmeg and a 2 gallon bottle of vodka and ran off to the bathroom to wash my hands before things got any worse.

I looked at myself in the mirror, though, and realized that it probably wasn't going to get much worse than this. One of my eyes was almost swollen shut and it looked like I was crying; but only out of the one eye. It was not pretty.

Oh good god, I have to go to my next client like this? I scoured the aisles looking for allergy eye drops, but there were none. I didn't want to take Benadryl because it would put me to sleep (moreso) and there would be no way I could function. I was pretty sure I had some allergy eye drops at home, so I very quickly finished up (which is practically impossible in Costco) and ran my ass home to find something before I ran out of time.

Unfortunately the only thing I could find was regular Visine, which did nothing for the swelling and the leaking but did take away all the redness! And off I went to my next client.....