xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#' Yeah. Good Times.: I want @klout in snark #WWTFIFLF

Friday, February 3, 2012

I want @klout in snark #WWTFIFLF

Adventures in Estrogen

Okay, first let me start off by explaining the weird hashtag in the title: My pervy (I don't judge) bloggy sister friend Lady Estrogen has created this fantastic, uh.... linky? I don't exactly know what it is, frankly.... And it's called Write Whatever The Fuck I Feel Like February. Here's how she describes it on her blog:
Why? Because it's wonderfully pointless... and it has a swearzie, so it's automatically awesome.
RIGHT??? So.... even though I've already linked up with the post I wrote about my shit cookies, I'm going to link this one, too. And you should write some crap and link yourself up, also. Why? Because awesome. That's why. The linky thingy-ma-bob is at the bottom.

Okay! So.... now let's talk about Klout.

WAIT! Before I talk about Klout, you need to see this screenshot I took yesterday of my blog site stat page:

I am so goddamned proud of myself. I have arrived as a blogger, my friends.

Okay! So.... NOW let's talk about Klout. What the fuck is klout, you ask? Well, klout is a completely meaningless, totally stupid website that claims to measure your "social media influence" and gives you a pointless score based on some algorithm that nobody has any fucking clue about. They also will give you a list of "topics" that you are apparently "influential" in, and "people" are supposed to "come by" and "give" you "+Ks" in said "topics," thus increasing your meaningless score, based on that mystery algorithm that nobody can or will even try to explain.

With me so far???

So, I think it's kind of fun to go over there every once in a while and check on my score. As I write this, my score is 67.01. No, I have no idea what that means. No, I don't get anything for it. No, I don't know how that compares to people with any actual social media influence.

I have "influence" in a number of topics, which include Autism (makes sense), Blogging (also makes sense?), and Vodka (perfect sense). I ALSO, however, have "influence" in Homework and Baking and I used to have influence in fucking Beyonce, of all things, until I discovered that you could delete topics from your topic list. (yeah, sorry everybody who loved to give me klout in Beyonce.... You can't do that anymore, suckers!!)

So, I was lookin through my topic list when I discovered that I could add my own topic!! How exciting!! So, naturally, I tried to add one... and LOOK WHAT HAPPENED....

Snark is not a valid topic, klout? Well why the fuck not???? Is it because they're afraid that if they were to validate snark as a topic, I would dominate every other motherfucker who even tried to compete with me?

Yeah, no, that not only not the correct answer, that's actually kind of stupid..... but we need to fix this!

So... this officially starts my campaign to get klout to make snark a valid topic!!

Who's with me????


Somebody once told me that the way you get klout in stuff is to tweet links and have lots of people retweet them. I can't tell you who told me that, because for some reason I think it was supposed to be a secret, although I don't remember why that would be a secret at all, but you can totally trust this anonymous source, because she was at BlogHer. So, I guess let's re-tweet the shit out of this post, okay? What do you think?? This will be our social media experiment, and I, for one, am very excited about finding out the results.

I fucking swear to god, though, if I end up with klout in klout after all of this? I'm going to be really really mad.....