I have now blogged about where I'm going on Friday night and where I'm going on Sunday afternoon. If I had a stalker, I'm making their job much easier.
No need to thank me, current and future stalkers. I am nothing if not helpful.
You forgot to mention your paranoid, crazy, gun-toting, blackbelt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, just doesn't give a fuck anymore, will disembowel you for looking at him the wrong way, husband. I will be there on Friday and Sunday too. Just sayin'.
I have a stalker, he is a guy who wants to kill me. (really his name is Mich)At his worst, he has mustered up the courage to roll down his window ans sneer while driving by. My wife is only a green belt in Brazilian Jui-Jitsu.
I can stalk you on Friday night, but since I'm also busy on Sunday, I'm hiring a temp stalker to fill in for me. What's the going rate for a part time week end stalker ?
If you were REALLY interested in being helpful to your stalker, you would say what you were wearing and reserve a table near yours so they would have maximum viewing opportunities. Just sayin'.
I just got this rally great Idea! O.K. instead of those dry pretentious book clubs, we should have Stalker Clubs! Every week, one of you is stalked by the other club members, then you meet to show pics and share commentary on your mundane life! It would be sooo cool!
9 comments:
You forgot to mention your paranoid, crazy, gun-toting, blackbelt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, just doesn't give a fuck anymore, will disembowel you for looking at him the wrong way, husband. I will be there on Friday and Sunday too. Just sayin'.
HA HA, hell yeah! Stalkers: you are ON NOTICE, mofos!
*crickets*
I have a stalker, he is a guy who wants to kill me. (really his name is Mich)At his worst, he has mustered up the courage to roll down his window ans sneer while driving by. My wife is only a green belt in Brazilian Jui-Jitsu.
I can stalk you on Friday night, but since I'm also busy on Sunday, I'm hiring a temp stalker to fill in for me. What's the going rate for a part time week end stalker ?
$60.00 a day is the usual going rate, plus gas and you provide the camera if you want pics.
I'll probably just be home on Saturday. Should I post my address or do you already have it?
If you were REALLY interested in being helpful to your stalker, you would say what you were wearing and reserve a table near yours so they would have maximum viewing opportunities. Just sayin'.
You're so good at this!!
I just got this rally great Idea! O.K. instead of those dry pretentious book clubs, we should have Stalker Clubs! Every week, one of you is stalked by the other club members, then you meet to show pics and share commentary on your mundane life! It would be sooo cool!
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