xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#' Yeah. Good Times.: Listen up, potential clients

Friday, July 30, 2010

Listen up, potential clients

Alright, potential clients, let's get this clear, shall we? First of all, I am THRILLED that you "found my website online" because it means that my feeble attempts at marketing myself is producing something or other, but after I've interrupted my workout to spend 10 fucking minutes giving you free advice on how to calculate your sales tax if you sell online and then ship to L.A., I would appreciate it if you would end the call with "Great! So, when can we start giving you money?" as opposed to "okay, maybe I'll call you next week," because you're NOT going to fucking call me next week, and now my heart has gone back to its resting rate and I'm all pissed off about it.

Yes, I KNOW the preceding was one big run-on sentence, but I'm a bookkeeper and not a goddamn English professor, so if it bothers you, just take STFU, multiply it by 9.75%, put that on your form to the Board of Equalization and then shove it up your ass.

Sincerely,

Jill



3 comments:

Right wing bastard said...

My dear departed mentor Glenn had 4 degrees from Berkley. He was an absolute genius. He hired me as a kind of Igor to his mad scientist. When he would get a call to bend his ear or get some free knowledge, he would listen to them for a few minutes and then say "I consult at $200.00 an hour, please set up an appointment with the secretary."

jillsmo said...

Your dear departed mentor charged 5 times more per hour than I do.

Right wing bastard said...

He was lying.He didn't do consulting work, he just didn't want to have engineers from NASA picking his brain and using his ideas as their own. Truth is that NASA engineers are thieves.

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