xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#' Yeah. Good Times.: "I will rearrange my plans and change for you"

Friday, July 2, 2010

"I will rearrange my plans and change for you"

More Avett Brothers? Really? Yes, more! And quit yer bitching! This one comes with song lyrics and a little analysis. Just a smidge, though.



If It's the Beaches
Don't say it's over
Cause that's the worst news I could hear I swear that I will
Do my best to be here just the way you like it
Even though its hard to hide
Push my feelings all aside
I will rearrange my plans and change for you

If I could go back

That's the first thing I would do I swear that I would
Do my best to follow through
Come up with a master plan
A homerun hit, a winning stand
A guarantee and not a promise
That I'll never let your love slip from my hands

If it's the beaches

If it's the beaches' sands you want
Then you will have them
If it's the mountains' bending rivers
Then you will have them
If it's the wish to run away
Then I will grant it
Take whatever what you think of
While I go gas up the truck
Pack the old love letters up
We will read them when we forget why we left here 

I've been listening to these guys a lot lately. You may have noticed. (insert snarky comment here). In addition to their beautiful songs and impressive guitar work there's also  some very smart, very perceptive song writing. A big theme, though, seems to be "rearrange my plans and change for you" so it got me thinking: is that the ultimate love song a man can sing for a woman, that they will change who they are to stay together? I've noticed that theme elsewhere and it's always interested me. Is that what women want men to tell them?

Just something to think about. Thoughts? No? Just me? Okay, whatever :eyeroll:



14 comments:

Nibor said...

I think the offer in there to "gas up the truck" is pretty much the pinnacle of what men can (realistically, at least) offer. But what the fuck do I know?

jillsmo said...

But what about "rearrange my plans and change for you." You don't think that's a little more difficult?

Nibor said...

That's where you run into the realism problem.

jillsmo said...

So you don't think men are capable of that kind of change? Or just people in general?

Nibor said...

People in general. But I admit that I have a very dim view of people.

jillsmo said...

How did you get to be so cynical?

Nibor said...

That's a subject for another post. Or me and my therapist. Or something.

More pertinent here, what's *your* take on the question you posed?

Right wing breeder said...

This past year I have had to say this and actually do it to stay with my wife. Not that she insisted or asked. There were things about me that caused her distress and built into distance. I told her I would change, she didn't think I would but let me try. I did and we are more happy for it and stronger together than ever. You are right Jill, but it's a hard thing for a man to admit, let alone actually do.

Right wing breeder said...

Oh yea I should prolly tell you that "right wing breeder" is me Aaron, I have lots of lesbian/gay friends who have blogs and that is my little joke name.

jillsmo said...

LOL Yeah, I knew that, actually. And since I knew who you are, and since this is my blog and not yours, can I please just say that you're totally full of shit with that last comment

Right wing breeder said...

Which last comment? That I changed or that I have lesbian friends?

jillsmo said...

That you changed and you're more happy for it and stronger together than ever. I know you better than that....

Right wing breeder said...

Well, you may think that. But actually is true. I good bit of my angst and problems stemmed from a huge amount of anxiety. I would always see this as her being a total bitch or that she was demanding more from me than she should. What I rarely if ever admitted is that this would bring out some rather violent outbursts from me. The kids would get scared, and my wife wanted to be far away from me. I ws self medicating, 3 packs of cigarettes a day and 8 or 10 beers a night. I felt a huge amount of pressure at work. I felt that my problems were bigger than everyone elses.
It came to a head over Christmas. She wanted a divorce.
I got serious about taking some anti anxiety med that I really wasn't before, then I quit smoking and stopped drinking every night. I make diner for the kids, I watch myself when I get overly annoyed and reach for a pill or nicotine gum. I make it a point to not over react and try to find diplomatic solutions.
She is happy with the change. We are stronger as a couple.
I'm really convinced that I have changed. Maybe you have some insight into how maybe I haven't really changed. maybe I am dillusional.

jillsmo said...

I'm not saying you haven't changed, I'm saying it doesn't make you happier, which is kind of the point of this post. Maybe you've made a huge change, but how has she changed? Did she just sit there and do nothing and expect that you'll do all the work to make the relationship work? Yes, she did, and you did, and you've done all the changing and she's done nothing, except give you orders and sit back and watch the results. And are you happy now?

My point of all of this is to say that I don't think it's fair that any one person in a relationship should have to change who they are, what they do, what they believe; in order to save the relationship. Be it man or woman, it doesn't matter, a relationship is give and take; it's about compromise. One person shouldn't have to do all the work to make the other one happy. And IF that's how it works out, either it's doomed to fail or that person is doomed to a life of unhappiness.

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