Yeah. Good Times.: Calling all autistics

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Calling all autistics

The other day, a woman at Child 1's camp told me that "there are 2 types of autistic people. 1. The kind that wants to have friends but doesn't know how and 2. The kind that doesn't care about having friends at all."

Child 1 is Autistic Type #2, according to that description. I would like to talk to an autistic adult who is also Type #2. Not (necessarily) for a guest post, just because I have questions.

You don't have to be "that type" as an adult, but if you were when you were 9? I would like to talk to you.

jillsmo@gmail.com

Thanks!

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Happy Elf Mom · 719 weeks ago

Looking forward to a great post. Based on my observation, they care, but just not in quite the same way. They want friends, but not quite the same way standard-issue children do. My 9-y-o is somewhere between type 1 and 2 (there are prolly 50 types really!!) and he loves, loves, loves interacting during chess school and tournaments. BUT likely doesn't want bunches of kids hanging out at his house and touching his toys. Then there is the fact that during chess school and tournaments, there are specific rules for interacting down to which hand you can use to touch the clock (the hand that moves the piece must hit the clock!!), where to place taken chess pieces (side of board only) and if you touch a piece you must move it etc etc etc.
My recent post Before... and After!

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Tessa · 719 weeks ago

Message me on twitter and I'll talk with you about this. Seriously.
My recent post Giggling Girls and Therapy Moms

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Cheryl D. · 719 weeks ago

My daughter falls into the first category! Can't help with your questions!
My recent post Carmageddon is F'ing Up My Birthday!

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Rachel · 719 weeks ago

Hi Jillsmo,

I've always been on the wanting to make friends part of the spectrum, so I can't be much help to you here. However, there's an interesting post I ran across by a young autistic woman in which she talks about her lack of interest in socializing. You can find it at:
http://chaoticidealism.livejournal.com/59820.html

Her experience may be similar to your son's. I don't see any contact information on her blog, but you might leave a message on the site and see whether you get a response.
My recent post The Aspie and Empathy

1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago

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jillsmo 103p · 719 weeks ago

Thanks Rachel! :)

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Sharon · 719 weeks ago

MY son is a number 1. It's heartbreaking to watch. Will be very keen to see what comes of your chat with a number 2 (that sounds a bit rude).
My recent post Another Warning. But Are You Listening?

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Zoloft Mom · 719 weeks ago

My son falls into the first category, but my friend's daughter falls into the second. She is 17 now, and still seems completely oblivious to the fact that people even have friends. The way my friend describes it, she walks around the social world the same way an illiterate person walks around looking at a world full of writing - sort of seeing that it is there, but dismissing it as something that doesn't apply to her. Not having friends doesn't seem to bother her at all. She is off to college soon, after taking honors math and science in high school. She will live at home though, as she is not at all ready for the college social scene.

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Louise · 719 weeks ago

My son also seems to drift between 1 and 2. He goes to a small primary school with lovely children he has know since he was a baby and so he is accepted into the social circles but I observe that he is not always part of the inner circle or invited to all the birthday parties but he does not seem to notice this and in his opinion they are his 'best' friends. He has 2 older brothers so does not crave/need company at home so I have to admit I do not organisemany play dates for him - me being lazy and also not wanting any 'bad' experiences when he is tired at the end of a long day to affect his school time friendships.

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Louise · 719 weeks ago

Sorry comment was too long so here is part 2! However the traits he displays from the second are that he is happy to go places when he may not know anyone there unlike my NT oldest son who always has to know who is going to be there and would refuse to attend an activity if a best friend was not there and also he is happy in his own company. I remember being told once on an Autism seminar that we should not place our needs/desires/expectations on them so that although we want friends and will be unhappy if we don't have any they don't neccessarily share that desire and therefore will not be sad if they don't have any. |I think we all know that to force something on them can lead to much anxiety but it is difficult to observe your child being 'lonely' even though they are quite content!

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K A B L O O E Y · 719 weeks ago

I'm with Louise re: struggling not to impose my own crap about fitting in/making friends/learning how to get into a game on a playground on my daughter, who wants to be included, but on her own terms. She has to learn these skills, but I think she doesn't need me adding to her stress. So I try to hang back and let her figure this stuff out. Talking to her about it, role playing things she could have tried, well, it can backfire and make her feel "wrong". And that's the last thing I want to do to my wonderful, if odd, beautiful little girl.
My recent post Gareth and Phin...

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Saturday, July 16, 2011

Calling all autistics

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