xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#' Yeah. Good Times.: The time I almost hit myself in the head with a dead mouse

Monday, July 25, 2011

The time I almost hit myself in the head with a dead mouse

So, it was Friday night, late, and I was making my final rounds through the house, turning off lights and such, when I encountered 2 things in my TV room: 1. A dead mouse, and 2. A bowl of cheerios that had been spilled all over a chair. I took pictures of them both, assuming I had something for a "Things I Find In My House" post.... little did I know that fate had other things in store for this particular blog post. I would show them to you, but, nobody really needs to see a picture of a dead mouse, right? So you can imagine what it looked like. Plus, I have no doubt that you can also imagine what a spilled bowl of cheerios might look like.

I stood there for a few minutes trying to figure out what to do about this situation. Normally what I would do would be to call hubs and make him deal with the dead mouse, and then get one of the kids to come and clean up their mess on the chair. However, everybody was already in bed, hubs had the flu, and I figured I should just deal with it, myself. But what was I supposed to do?

Then it came to me! I'll take the bowl, where the cheerios used to be, and I'll use it as a scooping device, of sorts, and I'll take the dead mouse outside! Awesome! Oh, did I mention that it was Friday night? And that I was drunk? Yeah. That fact isn't necessarily important to the outcome of this story, but it should be pointed out, nonetheless.

So, I do the scooping thing, and I head into the backyard, and suddenly I'm being followed by about 5,000 (murderous) cats who are very interested in what I might be carrying in this bowl. Hey, what do you have there, human? Can I see? Can I just check it out? Just real quick like? And suddenly I have this sense of urgency, that I must get rid of this mouse as soon as I possibly can. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do with it; I actually considered composting it, but that would have required a whole lot more effort than I was interested in at the moment, so, instead, I head to the back of our backyard, to the fence that separates our property from the neighbors, and.... observe.......





And then I went inside and went to bed.

fin



Comments (52)

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Oh my goodness, thank baby jesus for that liquid courage that got you said events. I wouldn't have cared if everyone was sleeping, they would have been woken up for sure. Super funny though. So is the mouse still in your yard?
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1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago
Holy crap.
I'm so glad you're not my neighbor, but I would love for you to be my friend.
May the mouse RIP, along with your sanity and copious amounts of Cheerios.
Haha. Tramatizing, yes. Funny as hell, yes, yes. And I always love your drawings :)
Well, that was my laugh out loud for the morning. By the way, the spilled cereal bowl suggests foul play might be at work. You may have just tampered with a crime scene.
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It's those 5,000 cats. They were using the force to will it back into your yard. Little did they know it was going to attack you like that.

Maybe leave the mouse-chucking to us sober folk? You poor thing, probably had nightmare all night too.

*snort* BAAAA HA AHA HA HAA HA HAH AHAA!!!

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Hahaha
Exactly what were your plans for the cereal bowl once the mouse had been removed?
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1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago
Damn, I missed out on the drunken, mouse-capade twitter posts that surely followed.
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Oh. My. Goodness. You said this post was going to be funny... but this? THIS IS HILARIOUS. omg I love you. :D
h ah aha ha ha hahaha ha ha hah ....oops fell off chair...h ah ah ah ah ahhh aha (that's an odd laugh, I must admit)... I would've hurled the bowl right at the cats most likely, because that thing could've come back to life and lunged at you. Brave woman, you are!
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Is it wrong that I'm laughing at you right now?? Hilarious!!! Good thing you were able to run out of the way.
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Those drawings are hilarious - the suspense when watching the dead mouse trajectory!
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bwahahaha- the drawings totally make this story!
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That story is so weird, it must be true! The pictures really bring it home.
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YeungJeans's avatar

YeungJeans · 713 weeks ago

Hilarious! I would do something like that. Except it would land in my eye. LOL
You throw drunk about as well as I do sober! HAHA!
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Handflapper · 713 weeks ago

LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH. I just lost two inches off my ass and I adore you. That is all.
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HAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh my gosh I just laughed so hard I have tears. I would have SCREAMED had I seen some damn flying mouse come back at me. You are so brave.
Bwhahahahahah! Pause to catch my breath. Bwhahahahahahaha! That was the funniest thing I have read in a while.
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I just peed a little. Your obvious athletic prowess rocks. ;)
Woman, you crack me up! That was hysterical. I thought crap like that only happened at my house. Loved the illustrations!
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I think what you did wrong was using the throwing technique for Wii bowling. I just don't think bowling moves are the same as throwing dead mouse over fence moves. You really should've called me first.

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1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago
AHHHHHH I love your posts!!! That's hilarious. I need to get drunk with you one day.
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Oh no! That would have been beyond gross!
I kinda never got past why there might have been a dead mouse in your TV room.
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1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago
hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaha...awesome illustration.
Oh good god you've just activated all of my many rodent phobias. We saw a mouse in one of our old apartments and all I could do was cry. Not because of the mouse so much as the fact that now we would have to move! I was also post-partum but still...
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That seems like something I would do. I should start practicing throwing immediately!
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OMG I love your blog.
Vodka does not impair your quick reflexes. In case you were ever in doubt. This reminds me of the time I was cutting my grass and there was some long, flat, dead, carcass fur in my yard. Rather than just pick it up and throw it away (which, in my defense, was my original intention), the feel of it even with leather gloves freaked me out and I just whipped it. Then I'd mow some more until I hit that patch and whip it again. I think I finally whipped it into the street. Devo would have been proud.
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OMGosh!!! I have not laughed so hard in a while THANK YOU!!!
That made me LOL! At work, in front of my PC! hehe!
Great drawings by the way!
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Little funny it usually happens during kitchen work.
I will never again think of Cheerios without also thinking of dead rodents. I'm sure General Mills is thrilled.
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This cracked me up! I wasn't sure where it was going - I thought maybe the mouse would bounce off the fence, but the trajectory - priceless! Great pics.
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Hahaha. poor you. That is the problem when using a bowl to throw stuffs. I think the position of the bowl is wrong, which may have caused the mouse flying into your direction instead. Very funny drawing, they made me visualize what happened. At first I thought you were gonna throw the bowl together with the mouse inside. That was one exciting night.
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Hahah! That made me laugh. You're dumb.

I had a dead mouse experience TOO! Sheesh. I'm up to three blog posts in one day. Except that's two more than my max, so I'm not doing it.

It would NEVER. . . EVER. . . occur to me to take something that my family eats out of, and use it to scoop up dead mice. So. . . excellent "creativity" out of you.

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LMAO! Awesome! And totally deserving of a Blogma! Stopping by from All Things Fadra...
Ahahaahaha!! And YUCK!! I would have freaked the heck out! Congrats on the Blogmas award :)
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That. Is. Hilarious! & totally something I would do!!

And the artwork is awesome!!
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I swear if it was me throwing the dead mouse, same thing would've happened ;)

Congrats on the Blogma Award!
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